Comments by Chompy the Ghost

Total Comments: 920
Old Names: Chompy (the dog), Mike and Ghost Chompy
First Post On: 04/17/2003 02:53 PM
Last Post On: 05/21/2019 01:32 PM
#1) Thursday, April 17, 2003
You are indeed bootilicious. I wish we were the same species. Then we could hump.

#2) Thursday, April 17, 2003

#3) Saturday, November 01, 2003
The new layout is great. I give it an A. And I'm a tough grader.

#4) Sunday, November 02, 2003
Man, you gave out some big candy bars. It's nice to see that you're willing to spend a little bit on today's youth.

#5) Tuesday, November 04, 2003
We use Metamucil to "keep us daily" around here.

#6) Friday, November 07, 2003
1000 swear words.
I bet "Sonata for Trumpet and Piano" would count as like a swear-phrase. We find it just as offensive as any word starting with a.. or f.. or c..

#7) Tuesday, November 11, 2003
My God, you're useful.

#8) Wednesday, November 19, 2003
They could have at least given you a link or something. Maybe a picture of Booty instead of some dude whispering into some other dude's ear. Something.

#9) Thursday, November 20, 2003
I guess they might have had noxious fumes on sale.

In bulk, of course.

#10) Thursday, November 20, 2003
Wait, wait. It's funnier like this?

Damn! I can't believe missed the bulk sale on toxic fumes!

#11) Monday, November 24, 2003
That's what happens when you write entries drunk every night.

#12) Monday, November 24, 2003
Maybe to spice things up you could get people to write Guest-Posts. It's fun to read about the severe problems of people you don't know.

#13) Tuesday, November 25, 2003
I can't believe a woman that big would let you cut off her upper-erotic areas just to cook them!

#14) Wednesday, November 26, 2003
I wonder if they'll next ban Male and Female. That will make setting up your stereo more confusing. Stick the penis into the vagina...

#15) Sunday, November 30, 2003
Ok, enough cat movies. Now that you can make your own home movies, maybe you should make your own "home movies" if you know what I mean. Like..x-rated stuff, you know.

#16) Tuesday, December 02, 2003
wtf kind of weird music are you listening to in Kitties In The Wild? Maybe some Guns N Roses would be a little better.

#17) Sunday, November 30, 2003
Yes, something like kitty porn.

#18) Wednesday, December 03, 2003
We had a pet vulture once. We named him Eaty.

#19) Thursday, December 04, 2003
Guest bloggers. I'm telling you, I would love to read whats going on with random people. Especially if they have anything really sad to talk about. Their misery would make me feel much better about myself. Gotta go, Simple Life is on.

#20) Friday, December 05, 2003
Howabout a guestbook that eats people?

#21) Saturday, December 06, 2003

yes, I do like your composition. Now quit calling me.

#22) Monday, December 08, 2003
In my one year in choir in college I got to sing this. You know a piece isn't great if no one is glaring at me when I'm singing.

#23) Tuesday, December 09, 2003
For those of you who don't speak french, here is the translation a la altavista

Nothing usually
Only the good time Head to back... Not too a long time.
When you are on ground Mets me at the current
That I guess...
Intentions. One electrifies oneself:
Maximum tension body-circuits...
Of two lovers
One illuminates animal Lumi?re the school of the electromagnet.
To find the direction Of the life, I think Passe by the trouble When you, you left.
To find the Moments directions which insolencent processions of fingers, Of my desire of you.
When the power is on, also the threat Of the time which is barred, from the time which separates us And the current passes, I have in me the audacity Of the magnetic field, and that it is splendid!

And *that* is splendid. Good thing she's hot or else this wouldn't make any sense to me.

#24) Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Finicky: Which bands in your list are you saying have good drum beats (if any)? Two of them are ok and two are horrible (in my humblest of opinions of course).

#25) Thursday, December 11, 2003
Old School was terrible. AND I was high.

#26) Friday, December 12, 2003
All the more reason to not pay your taxes. I think instead of this $50 bs, people should have the option to send me one cent, instead. Then we all win.

#27) Monday, December 15, 2003
I'm just curious, but what book are reading in that picture (of you taking your first dumpy-wumpy-poo)?

#28) Thursday, December 18, 2003
I think President Bush just needs to sit down Christmas Eve Day and watch the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy marathon on Bravo. He would surely learn that they are a very clean, articulate and most importantly, very beautiful people. I admit, I don't even pretend to understand how gay marriage can be banned on moral grounds. What are people so afraid of? Science has already proven homosexuality a genetic trait--we let people with blue eyes get married, even though that grosses me out. For moral reasons. I'll tell you this, my kids ain't going near any of those blue-eyed freaks.

#29) Thursday, December 18, 2003
I of course realize that a single article/study proves nothing but here's my reference at least:

#30) Thursday, December 18, 2003
Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the use of legitimize. If two people love each other isn't that legitimate enough? I guess I just don't understand what moral issue is at hand. Sodomy? Or it just creeps Joe American out to have two guys shagging next door? I just flat out don't understand. Because of the bible? I can't wait for fifty years down the road when our kids rolls their eyes on the issue just as we roll our eyes at the sheer thought of blacks not being equals.
Finally, just because there are a man and a woman together, that does not necessarily make for a good household. I'm sure a great male-female couple and a great male-male or female-female couple would all do a fine job raising kids. It's not the sex of the parents, it's about the qualifications of the parents. I'd be happy to chair a committee deciding which couples (straight, gay, whatever) were allowed to have kids.

#31) Saturday, December 20, 2003
It's not shut down! It's

#32) Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Oh man is that picture funny! I know you don't have any free time but if you did, you should write some wrong essays for them. Like, really wrong.
Also, I can't believe you called LoTR3 generally a great movie! It was only the third movie I've seen in a theater in five years (one of the other two was LoTR2) and while I agree that that special effects were crazy good, the movie was just...too drawn out. I could have pared that thing into like, 20 minutes and maybe spent some of the rest of the time showing some more deformed faces of the orcs. (Were they supposed to look incestuous?)

#33) Saturday, December 20, 2003
I haven't finished the book yet. I admitted that nothing really happened! This is the first book I've ever read by John Grisham (I read The Firm when I was in high school but remember nothing about it) and he strikes me as a very average writer. If you have a suggestion for a better book to read by him, please lay it on me.

#34) Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Oh, like if you watched all three in a row. Ok, I'll buy that.

#35) Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Merry Christmas Brian.

I learned something very interesting today. According to P. Diddy (formerly Puff Daddy), you are not a true playah-pimp. According to his song, "True playah-pimps don't spend no dough on the Booty". I imagine you spent some money on the Booty. How is she, by the way?

#36) Sunday, December 28, 2003
I lost $2 on VT. I'm pissed at you Brian. My whole betting on the bowls went up in smoke because your alma mater sucks. Maybe Michael Vick wants to earn another degree? Did he finish the first one? If not, he needs to come back right away and maybe Cal will be willing to play a rematch. He can go back to the pros before VT has to play FSU.

#37) Monday, December 29, 2003
What size are you? I have an army of gay men who can tell me where to tell you to find them.

Maybe not an army but like one or two.

#38) Monday, December 29, 2003
Hmm, a 29x28. You are a freak. Maybe your Christmas resolution should be to gain an inch around the waist so you have a change at the clothes. Even I was able to get my 31 to a 32 so I could stop looking for 31x34 and it has been like some sort of jean-boon. The secret is to eat LOTS of Neiman Marcus bars (I'm not sure of the spelling) but in a single tray, it's four sticks of butter, four eggs, a package of cream cheese and german chocolate cake. Eat one tray a week and you'll be good to go by the end of the month. Fatty.

#39) Saturday, January 03, 2004
I agree. We don't care about chord notation but we definitely care about one's that are gross. Really gross. I guess unexpected is ok too.

#40) Sunday, January 04, 2004
I'm pissed someone stole my idea.

#41) Monday, January 12, 2004
Can I use your credit to get a house too...

#42) Monday, January 12, 2004
Yeah but think of the possibilities in a house--I'm talking like, at least four fish tanks per room and no less than 10 game tables!

#43) Thursday, January 15, 2004
Questions are good for finding images--How do I build a robot? A girl robot?

Sure, I could type in girl robot build but all I get are those stupid Citi ads. Like that identify stealer could really build a good girl robot.

#44) Saturday, January 17, 2004
My God. You're like..some sort of real adult now!

#45) Monday, January 19, 2004
boo indeed.

#46) Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Holy proofreading Batman. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: Your definitely a computer guy with significant righting skills.

#47) Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Atlas of tongue coating??

#48) Wednesday, January 28, 2004
I figured if anyone had this skill, it was you. This should give you something to do tomorrow in your free time.,,5-2004040384,00.html

#49) Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Here are some hurting programs:
a) Social Security
Where as at its inception it was paid at the rate of 40-1 workers per recipient; within the next 30 years it will be 2-1.

b) National Endowment of the Arts - Although Laura Bush persuaded her hubby to sponsor this and it is DEFINITELY a step in the right direction, it's still about 10% of it's budget in the late 1980s and was almost completely disbanded two years ago.

c) How about the future scientists, astronauts and smarties? Education? There are too many sites to list all the problems regarding the funding of education in our country.,0,3250520.story?coll=ny-ap-regional-wire

If we wanted to cut some $$$ for something completely worthless yet immensly popular: the DARE program, which has been completely ineffective.


We can get some money back by cutting the truly useless programs, such as the DARE program which has proved completely ineffective.


Personally, I like the idea of us venturing in outer space. Eventually, were going to be out further into the galaxies and it has to start somewhere. I'd at least like to see a little sumpin-sumpin in my lifetime.
I don't think Brian was trying to say that cutting money that supports technology was a good idea. There are many different types of technology and there is no shortage of stem cells that need some poking and prodding.
The government has to provide something for us. That's their job. That's why we pay taxes and elect officials--for us. When I was in South America I saw first-hand what happens when a country's goverment only does the bare minimum and, thank god, we do not have to live in that environment.

Finally, that joke is now going to be my lesson plan tomorrow.

#50) Thursday, February 12, 2004
I tried yelling at the City of Tallahassee Utilities when the turned off my power despite the fact they cashed the check last week. It only resulted in the dog walking around scared and my neighbor coming over to make sure I was ok.

#51) Thursday, February 12, 2004
ouch. Chompy says you're too mean to be a homeowner.

#52) Friday, February 13, 2004
Oh, this is definitely a stock-update. Please. We caught on to your "book/TV/movie/CD review" "updates" long ago. Nice try!

#53) Friday, February 13, 2004
Because this was the most recent one when I last checked.

#54) Sunday, February 15, 2004
So let's say we find a way to haul that rock back to Mother Earth. What, in your professional opinion, would happen to the global economy?

You know...I was just wondering.

#55) Sunday, February 15, 2004
And give me one of those witty replies.

#56) Sunday, February 15, 2004

Now I have a good opening line for class tomorrow.

#57) Monday, February 16, 2004
I may not understand the concept of "marriage" correctly, but doesn't the family of the bride provide for both the wedding and the funds to establish residence somewhere? And if the family cannot undertake it, doesn't it ultimately fall on the bride's shoulders?

#58) Tuesday, February 17, 2004
stupid pimps

#59) Monday, February 16, 2004
You would have to ask an Anatomy expert to unravel that one...

#60) Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Ooh, that hurts. I'm good at keeping up with things...just look at my smoking...

#61) Monday, March 08, 2004
So that's where all my money from weekly repairs go...

#62) Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Where are all the grammatical mistakes? And useless commas? The lack of flow between sentences is great, though!

#63) Sunday, March 14, 2004
Does Ted William's family know about this?

#64) Friday, March 19, 2004
Some update. Boo.

#65) Saturday, March 20, 2004
Oh come on--two in a row? Where's a stock update about Alias or some other subject we don't care about along with some links to sites that we we don't have passwords for? Where's our Brian?

#66) Tuesday, March 30, 2004
If I didn't know better, I would have to say that it looks like you had superfluous decor on your walls. I thought the only thing allowed up was former concert posters you designed. And what's up with that tree? Is it real? Did it move with you?
Also, do you know of anything that can hide 3"x3" chunks of missing paint that might have fallen off when attaching artwork with double-sided tape?

#67) Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Oh, ha ha. No really, we're laughing hysterically over here. Ha ha!

#68) Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Definitely keep it. Get some of those gnomes and other cement animals to put around it, though. It might look tacky on its own.

#69) Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Most certainly. You need to stop once you get your hands on the cement deer or the elusive duck mom with duck babies.

#70) Tuesday, April 20, 2004
"Seriously, why bother paying someone to watch you pee?"

Seriously, when so many of us would do it for free.

#71) Monday, April 26, 2004

#72) Saturday, May 15, 2004
Is that a LAN party?!

a ha haha

#73) Friday, May 21, 2004
oh no--I hope the lack of weekend updates don't start *this* weekend!

#74) Thursday, June 10, 2004
Ball returns aren't that great--if you're playing with real rules and you scratch and have to take one of yours out, sometimes you would have to take all the balls out of the return just to get to one of yours. It's really a blessing in disguise.

#75) Thursday, June 10, 2004
What makes for "better accessories"? Rounder balls?

#76) Thursday, June 24, 2004
Uri 2004!

Labor Party, just so you can mispell it all it labour like you so like to do(u)!

#77) Monday, June 28, 2004
I saw it. Even as a bleeding heart liberal I can only give a B/B-.

I don't need Michael Moore or George Bush thinking for me.

#78) Monday, July 12, 2004
Ah, cute Randy.

Coincidentally, here are the lyrics:

#79) Monday, July 26, 2004
Such a detailed update! To what do we owe this hono(u)r?

#80) Tuesday, August 03, 2004
You mean for your composers' refuge?

#81) Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I read a few days ago the information that was used to declare the raise was based upon the fact they had found documents targeting certain areas. Too bad the documents were three to four years old.

#82) Friday, August 06, 2004
I have XM--it's great. The only downside is that they say there are no commercials but there are some on the best channels--and not, like, good commercials either. Stuff like "tax shelter in Nevada! Listen to my tape while you sleep to stop being so lazy!" Those are real examples.

#83) Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Damn dude, throw us a bone.

#84) Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Might I suggest The Fugees Killin' Me Softly (with his Song).

#85) Thursday, September 09, 2004
Try Nanu-nanu. Make Robin Williams proud.

#86) Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Don't forget Laura giving herself a breast exam, the kid to his right preparing to throw a frisbee, the young girl choking and the early teen doing a Britany imitation.

#87) Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Just think how many more hits if there had been good updates!

#88) Monday, October 11, 2004
No birthday graphic?!

#89) Thursday, October 14, 2004
The one at his ranch is just his shoulder blade/camera angle.

#90) Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Well, you've always been the frivolous type.

#91) Wednesday, October 20, 2004
What's the C stand for? It looks like a fake C.

#92) Wednesday, October 20, 2004

#93) Wednesday, October 20, 2004
As you get more certificates can I buy the old ones from you and put my name on them?


#94) Friday, October 22, 2004
Are all your coworkers gay? Then it would be fruit poops...

#95) Monday, December 27, 2004
Yeah, we've seen your musical selections so far. I don't think it's your ear that's making them sound bad...

#96) Thursday, December 30, 2004
Wow...its Dave Matthews as a girl.


#97) Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Term thief.

#98) Thursday, January 13, 2005
Jim Mathes, Distinguished Professor of Morrissey Studies

#99) Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Coal maybe. Give you some energy...or something.

#100) Thursday, January 20, 2005
Look out kiddies. K&M is all-in.

#101) Friday, January 21, 2005
We were totally the only entry, weren't we?

#102) Thursday, January 27, 2005
Yeah, do the RSS feeds. I'm way too lazy to click on the Urizone button in Mozilla every day. Seriously, my time is way too valuable to take the extra second.

#103) Tuesday, February 08, 2005

#104) Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Jamie saw it too.

#105) Wednesday, March 02, 2005
You have a piano?

#106) Thursday, March 03, 2005
animated gifs.

#107) Thursday, March 03, 2005
lots of them.

#108) Monday, March 21, 2005
All hail the lower third of Satan!

#109) Thursday, March 24, 2005
Good solution to the space problem.

#110) Friday, March 25, 2005
What the HELL is this?

#111) Tuesday, April 05, 2005
My dog's tongue isn't that big. That wouldn't fit in her mouth.

#112) Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Poor thyme

#113) Thursday, April 07, 2005
FYI, you put me in a parking lot.

#114) Thursday, April 07, 2005
Ouch. If I knew what cruel thing you were implying I might be really hurt.

#115) Monday, April 18, 2005
"I didn't want to break another gnome."

#116) Monday, April 18, 2005

#117) Thursday, April 21, 2005
Nice entry me.

#118) Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Is there a worse picture in the group than this one?

#119) Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Too bad one of the side effects of my genital blistering prescription is dry eyes.

#120) Monday, May 02, 2005
All of your chords remind me of camel humps.

#121) Monday, May 09, 2005
Hooray for rants!

#122) Friday, May 20, 2005
You poll is screwed up. Use MySQL you lazy hippie.

#123) Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The best part is when he exhales the fire shoots out.

#124) Thursday, June 02, 2005
And yet another piece of evidence that shows U2 fans are really, really stupid.

#125) Monday, June 06, 2005
Yes! Chompy won the vote. And I didn't even rig it.

#126) Tuesday, June 07, 2005
God you're cheap. Who saves their extra mayo on a knife-by-knife basis? Maybe you're just using enormous knives. Good thing your birthday is coming up.

#127) Wednesday, June 08, 2005
"She has also lost her peripheral vision..."

"I'm seizure free. No medication or anything. ... I drive, I'm going to college in August and I'm very happy," Christina said.

#128) Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I don't understand why Martin says U2 is an influence. Since you can tell Coldplay's songs apart, I can't really see the influence of U2.

#129) Thursday, June 09, 2005
That 3rd one has to be fake. Come on.

#130) Friday, June 10, 2005
You can't cut NASA. Space is the last region left unexplored and were not going to figure out life's mysteries by letting you keep an extra 7 cents every time you buy a coke.

#131) Monday, June 13, 2005
How the hell do you remember that?

#132) Friday, June 10, 2005
The reason were not close to traveling outside of the galaxy is because of people like you. Unfortunately we live in a very results oriented society and people are too impatient to understand some of the things we invest in now won't yield results in our lifetime.

#133) Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Atta boy.

#134) Friday, June 24, 2005
"As you drive up to it, don't be ashamed if you mistake it for a rock golem demanding a toll"

That is the funniest line I've ever read.

#135) Friday, June 24, 2005
Yeah, it's still funny ilke 6 hours later.

#136) Monday, June 27, 2005
At least I do weekend updates (even if they are a little late).

#137) Monday, June 27, 2005
That game is tough. I only made it to getting the car in the water. I can't get it past that bomb in the water. I'm pissed. Really pissed.

#138) Friday, July 01, 2005
Loser's Trading Spaces?

#139) Friday, July 15, 2005
The only funny part of that movie is the woman. she's pretty funny.

#140) Friday, July 22, 2005
My street address starts 222...

#141) Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Teeth are gross.

#142) Thursday, July 28, 2005
A documentary!

I'm not a lesbian film maker!

#143) Thursday, July 28, 2005
Wow. That brings me back.

#144) Friday, July 29, 2005
I think it was your "leave the reader to figure it out" sections.

Attractive girls don't like to do that.

I've heard.

#145) Friday, July 29, 2005
Thinking I'd be the first to comment, I had: Brian, how about a poll asking if we readers wanted to figure anything out?

Then I saw there was already a comment and decided to adapt mine.

Oops. No wonder girls hate me and my self-esteem is so low

#146) Friday, July 29, 2005
It also might be because I forget to leave periods off my sentences. So here's an extra one..

#147) Friday, August 05, 2005
Not that you care but Gordo in that context means award.

#148) Tuesday, August 09, 2005
What's scary is people are commenting on The Monkees' Giant Step instead of John Coltrane's Giant Steps. That says more about pop taste that anything else.

#149) Wednesday, August 10, 2005
When I was a senior in college my roommate bought some ice cube trays from a porn shop that made the individual cubes look like boobs. We used to call them Boob Cubes but now that I write this I realize it's not nearly as funny now.

#150) Friday, August 12, 2005
That was the best post in a long time.

#151) Friday, August 12, 2005
I've missed you Rob.

#152) Friday, August 12, 2005
I just want you to get 20 comments.

#153) Monday, August 15, 2005
I want a mask like that for Halloween.

#154) Tuesday, August 16, 2005
What the hell is that <3. A heart? Are you using emoticon-like charactes? For all of our sakes I hope that was just an accidental paste from something like
if i<3 then {launch.warheads };

#155) Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I read your entry this morning without my contacts in and I thought your second video was called Muscle Furl! I get it now.

#156) Thursday, August 18, 2005
When did boobs become such a hefty part of your routine?

#157) Thursday, August 18, 2005
http://www.urizone.vt :/

#158) Thursday, August 18, 2005
It's because none of us had good nicknames isn't it. I'll find someone from our time and give them a nickname like 24s or something car related. Thatll pique our collective interest again.

#159) Friday, August 19, 2005
U2 never had any good songs.

You could always rap-style rhyme your last name. That opens up a lot of words including demurely and quirrley.

#160) Monday, August 22, 2005
Yeah, she's cute. I predict at least one update this week about her boobs.

#161) Tuesday, August 23, 2005
For your birthday I want a new puppy.

#162) Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Shar Peng, the pornographic sharpener.

#163) Wednesday, August 24, 2005
You have any idea how crazy my classmates thought I was when I passed my comics around?

Pretty crazy. I was there.

#164) Monday, August 29, 2005
Get a room you two.

#165) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
I have transcribing work if you want it. I guess that's not really composing but it pays well.

#166) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Start converting your other arrangements for steel band. You can donate all the $$$ to me.

#167) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Oh man, I'm totally stealing Panned by the Critics. Maybe I'll change it to Panned 49 States and Puerto Rico.

#168) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
It's like the making of sausage. Sure, it's pretty good but you don't want to know how it's made.

#169) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
You're gross.

#170) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
That certainly helps explain the previously inexplicable cultish teen girl following.

#171) Thursday, September 01, 2005

#172) Friday, September 02, 2005
London's name could have been a whole lot worse. Imagine 4th grade with the name Asparagus Spears.

#173) Friday, September 02, 2005
I was in New Orleans last weekend. When they issued the voluntary evacuation we got the hell out of there and how much traffic was there? None. The fact is that everyone there was warned this was the mother of all hurricanes to hit New Orleans and people thought they could outsmart it.

While agree a lot more could have been done initially take into consideration the two main inroads (bridges) are 100% worthless, the ports are completely blocked my wrecked ships and the airports were underweater. That leaves only Rt. 90 in where hordes of gangs were shooting everything that tried to get into the city.

If blame has to be assigned, I would nominate the Mayor. A good sign of the severity would have come if he had released all the buses in the county for the evacs. He didn't.

#174) Friday, September 02, 2005
I need to proofread.

#175) Friday, September 02, 2005
I don't even know where to start with your comments. You clearly have never been to New Orleans nor really have even a fundamental grasp on how things are being handled there.

Many people have blame there, including the major, but I don't think it would be fair to rest all or even most of it on him.

I live in Florida. When Governor Bush says to evacuate he's frequently ignored. I don't really care for the guy but he knows whats going on with these storms. I was IN New Orleans when the evacuations started and Nagin did a deplorable job of notifying people. I agree that the word didn't get out but who moreso than the mayor should know the communication limitations of a city? When he was on TV he did nothing more than offer a vague concept of what *might* happen and say "this is not a test". He was not compelling in the least. AFTER the hurricane the first significant message was not even to his city--it was to the country at large saying: SOS, we have a desperate situation. He has done NOTHING at ANY point to show that he's any more than a glorified CPA.

The US is full of airports and planes. They don't have [to] leave from New Orleans or Florida to drop supplies there.

No shit. But there was no place to land them until yesterday. Now that a strip at the airport is open aid is flooding in all forms: troops, food, medicines, military police, you name it.

If you can't trust the remaining "citizens" to not loot the hosptails (which they're currently doing) you can't just randomly drop care packages in.

You put the looting as such a low priority but since last Monday 80% of the city and parrish police forces have quit. My girlfriends friend was a police officer but quit on Wednesday with dozens of other members after not being allowed to fire back after fellow officers were shot while trying to get to the people on rooftops. I'd quit too if I were trying to help people and these "people" were killing my friends trying to do the same thing.

It's really easy to criticize when you're not responsible for providing feasible answers. And I certainly put myself into that same group.

#176) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
It's true about the vanity plates
my fl sta8 was free. I'm sorry you hate me.

#177) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I gather you left out the A in FSU Sacks which is what you'll be seeing plenty of in the ACC Championship Game.

#178) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I was up late working on that one.

#179) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
If only we had a drug dealing, reckless driving, statutory rapist leading our offense instead of a 19 year old who was only advised to call lots of timeouts and to stay out of forests we'd be gr8.

#180) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Sorry. I misread the drug use and wreckless driving as drug dealing and wreckless driving.

You're right about Drew though. Maybe some 15 years old girls could help. Seriously though--he really does suck.

#181) Thursday, September 08, 2005
How's life treating you Rob?

#182) Friday, September 09, 2005
  • I didn't know you played poker with old rubber tires.

#183) Monday, September 12, 2005
haha: nude uri

This is my favorite pic

#184) Tuesday, September 13, 2005
What impresses me the most about that drawing is the way the sun's facial features always come out "right" regardless of how you turn it.

#185) Thursday, September 15, 2005
What happened in 1992 that the trouble-making smile left your face?

The trumpet?

My personal favorite is the long-haired hippie Brian of 2000. Damn hippies.

#186) Thursday, September 15, 2005
Yeah, Rachel was right--what's up with the 2005? Are you naked?

I can almost see your rippling buttocks in the window reflection.

#187) Friday, September 16, 2005
Was that fish-"tongue" picture really necessary?

#188) Monday, September 19, 2005
Is that ghost wearing a T-shirt or a short-sleeved dress shirt? Either way that's scary.

#189) Tuesday, September 20, 2005
I have at least a dozen squirrels in my 10x10 backyard. Since they're paying like $500 per squirrel maybe Chompy and I can hunt some down and send them over.

#190) Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Speaking of which, when's your Starbucks commercial coming out?

#191) Wednesday, September 21, 2005
No dude, she's right. That was weird.

Let this comment be your punishment.

#192) Thursday, September 22, 2005
My favorite line from the Chang article:

"No word on if Rubio will unleash Chang, or the sword, as he faces squabbles in the future."

I need to go and buy a pool table tonight.

#193) Thursday, September 22, 2005
Remember that one game when it was: me, you, Kathy, Shaftel and Buchler?

We lost by like 120 or something.

#194) Monday, September 26, 2005
I would have let you sleep in the bed and I would have slept down with the dog. The disease are much fewer and further between upstairs.

#195) Monday, September 26, 2005
Jamie and I both seem to be alive and we've been living in it for a year. Once you build up a resistance to it you can live through pretty much anything.

#196) Tuesday, September 27, 2005
K--I think that's one of the miracles of Photoshop.

X-R: That statue was hot! I'm going to get a copy to put next to the AIDS-futon.

#197) Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Yep. That's disturbing alright.

#198) Thursday, September 29, 2005
Personally, I like the rock concert experience. I don't want to hear the song played the same way it is on the recordings. Don't get me wrong--I want the performers to be aware of the fact they're playing it differently but when they spice up every song it prevents the casual frat listeners from singing along which is never EVER a bad thing.

And half of rock can't really be captured on recording. You can make a case for any genre but rock has the requisite angst that makes it a totally different experience live. It's all about repressed teenage angst.

#199) Friday, September 30, 2005
Oh man. Alyssa was here and I missed it! Nice to see she's a fan of Dr. C though.

#200) Friday, September 30, 2005
Wow...Marcus Vick is really good.

#201) Monday, October 03, 2005
I'd have to see more pictures of your dog to accurate judge but although Chompy might *be* the best dog in the world I've seen cuter.

Generally I don't think dogs can be cute unless their ears stand up. If they're floppy no matter how smart or attentive they're being they always look like they're saying, "I need a nap."

Any dog over any cat any day though. Who wants a pet that won't agree to being locked in a shed with the sole purpose of killing sprickets while you hide in your bathroom?

Where did you get her?

#202) Monday, October 03, 2005
This picture of Chompy isn't very cute because her mouth is open. No one wants a picture with their mouth open.

#203) Monday, October 03, 2005
Three cheers for people who adopt dogs.

(Hooray, Hooray, Hooray)

You're not a very good yuppie though--you might get your membership revoked for not paying a breeder for an imbred one with "papers".

#204) Wednesday, October 05, 2005
That's another reason dogs are handy. You know Chompy would have kick that board's ass.

#205) Wednesday, October 05, 2005

#206) Thursday, October 06, 2005
Alphabet Thursday isn't going to be regular is it?

#207) Thursday, October 06, 2005
I keep meaning to ask--how did your parents get that ivy to grow so evenly over your childhood toilet?

#208) Thursday, October 06, 2005
I guess that's probably safer than ivy anyway.

#209) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Man, I hate that picture. You could have at least used one of my good ones.

#210) Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Until right now I couldn't figure out why you had a Bus Bumper on your car and why you'd want to bump buses in the first place.

#211) Thursday, October 13, 2005
1. The most famous person I've ever met was Harry Carry. He signed a ticket stub for me when I ran into him at a concession stand at a Cubs game. I remembe being shocked that he had to get his own beer.

2. People sometimes call me Matt and I don't correct them unless I think I'm going to see them on a regular basis.

#212) Friday, October 14, 2005
You have to make monthly payments to play a game?

#213) Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I think HR can be cute. Not most of it, of course, but there were a coupl e SB emails that were pretty good about 16 months ago. I only go look when they put a new Teen Girl Squad up. I like the music.

#214) Wednesday, October 19, 2005
I like how in the picture the girl is desperately clinging to him.

#215) Friday, October 21, 2005
1) You looked terrible for most of the game against Maryland. Don't get me wrong though--I'm totally rooting for you to crush us in the ACC Championship so you can jump Texas to play USC for the National Championship. Now that our season is over I have to root for the team that can play defense.

Over the weekend Google changed their seach algorithm and reset everyones place in the rankings. We got hit really hard at work and that's probably why your hits are so low. Or that you promised to write shorters updates and didn't follow through so now everyone is pissed because they really just want a short rant about people driving and some movies of Booty.

#216) Friday, October 21, 2005
You're married now--you don't need to suck up and humor these epic entries at the risk of losing your place to live!

#217) Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Happy boothday

#218) Wednesday, October 26, 2005
haha, I like your search term what is cemetary etiquette. Don't urinate on the graves my friend. That's rule #1.

#219) Monday, October 24, 2005
See that click-through rate from my blog? I'm going to have to start charging CPMs to everyone on my links.

#220) Friday, November 04, 2005
Sometimes novels come as weekly publications. And bullet-point entries.

#221) Friday, November 04, 2005
I think a great promotion would be giving us an extra note. Like suddenly you have H then in the next two versions you can geg Hb and H#.

#222) Friday, November 04, 2005
heh, geg.

#223) Monday, November 07, 2005
Yeah, the turkey-llama is cute but the Christmas-llama is still my favorite with that cute little cap.

#224) Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Of all the people I know that have threatened a litterbug stranger in their front yard you're the only one that could have them killed by our government.

That's got to feel good.

#225) Tuesday, November 08, 2005
I too originally thought your graphic was something outer spacey. Like that meteor thing you had last time.

If you've started titlizing your entries to improve your SEO that only works if you're using an h1 or h2. bold doesn't count.

That's why I make the big bucks.

#226) Thursday, November 10, 2005
Does that map have a version in China?

If so would it be called a Frapprchino?

#227) Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wow, frappr@us is good. I thought I was clever too.

#228) Monday, November 14, 2005
Even this house is going for .003c per square inch.

#229) Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Is the appearance of html tags in the Washington Post article strange to anyone else? Wouldnt those

s be replaced by something else for the title and the author? I wouldn't think they'd use the same font size for the title as they would the print.

I don't know if I can believe anything they say now.

I can't picture you throwing tantrums. Did your parents sedate you afterwards to establish getting mad=not getting mad? If so, that's what I'm doing with my kids. It's all about establishing a routine.

#230) Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I guess I need to go to Costco and look into snakepits.

#231) Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Were those entries on the blue paper real? I mean, come on.

#232) Friday, November 18, 2005
You've been listening to too much XM Comedy.

I want a puppy.

#233) Monday, November 21, 2005
Uhm, I'd like to file a class action lawsuit against all the parents for child endangerment. How 'bout you watch your kids? How's that sound?

#234) Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Wow. I didn't think there'd be any comments today. Shows what I know.

#235) Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Oh come on--that was very insightful.

#236) Wednesday, November 23, 2005
I wish it had been called Wednesday Wagments to highlight the pet news.

#237) Wednesday, November 23, 2005
What about Wednesday's Wagments?

#238) Monday, November 28, 2005
At least we didn't lose to Miami.

#239) Monday, November 28, 2005
Don't go soft on us now Rob. Just because you're at a new school with a new football team doesn't mean you can point out our obvious flaws.

#240) Monday, November 28, 2005
What the hell does this Edit button do? All it says is, "Your post is absolutely perfect now".

Even when I type in Booty Sucks.

#241) Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I can't believe LL Bean let you take a photo of his blue lights.

#242) Friday, December 02, 2005
VT isn't playing tonight.

#243) Friday, December 02, 2005
Boy, you can't even win with your receivers running out and back in bounds and your corners interfering with our passes.

Enjoy the Emerald Bowl.

#244) Monday, December 05, 2005
Arafi hated being the assistant conductor but he knew without him the Mosul Symphony would never get through Beethoven 3.

#245) Monday, December 05, 2005
I just want the free trip.

#246) Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Long entries about musicals don't get comments. Remember that.

#247) Tuesday, December 06, 2005
That would explain this cold weather we're having.

#248) Friday, December 09, 2005
I am not ashamed to admit that I cast a single vote for myself.

And yes, I did recruit but none of my traffic transfers over anyway.

I just want a free trip (or a pencil picture).

#249) Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Same goes for Musicals.

#250) Thursday, December 15, 2005
You're right about rhythm.

It might not be too late for you.

#251) Friday, December 16, 2005
How many more Java Developer Certifications do you need? Do they go on forever?

#252) Friday, December 16, 2005
I think Burkina might make more headlines if they could add a T to the middle of their first name.

#253) Friday, December 16, 2005
Burkina Fatso. We were looking for Burkina Fatso.

#254) Friday, December 16, 2005
I like how the Pirate one tries to give one of them a peg leg but it comes off as like a peg leg with claws.

#255) Wednesday, December 14, 2005
That was enough to content to build a Page Rank 4 site in and of itself.

#256) Monday, December 19, 2005
I can't wait for the rest of the week's entries...

Tuesdays What's in my pocket?

Wednesdays What's in my bellybutton?

Thursdays What's between my teeth?

And, you know, Fragment Friday.

Go State!

#257) Friday, December 30, 2005
Oh get married least let go of the smilies :pppp

#258) Friday, January 06, 2006
Bye Marcus. It's been real.

#259) Friday, January 06, 2006
I'll be pissed if someone takes him in the NFL draft. Nothing like rewarding horrible behavior.

#260) Monday, January 09, 2006
I have to agree with Kim--you were probably the last person not living in Burkina Faso that didn't know Ring of Fire.

The last see-worthy movie I saw was Titanic. Get it?

#261) Monday, January 09, 2006
You've got your work cut out for you. Good luck.

#262) Friday, January 06, 2006
It's not too late to root for FSU.

#263) Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Yeah, you need to *.js the entries this week to be hidden so some of us can skip right to the links.

#264) Wednesday, January 11, 2006
They're more fun as they get harder--you can't really take pride in solving one that has 80% of the numbers filled in but when the whole board only has eight or nine numbers to start you feel smart when you solve it.

#265) Wednesday, January 18, 2006
I still have never been on roller skates (or ice skates for that matter). Thanks for helping me get over my fears.

#266) Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Don't do it. Stay with the snow bunnies. I mean, come on.

#267) Thursday, January 19, 2006
I think it's a full moon or something because Chompy has been eating much the past couple of days either. But she's been normal in every other way.

#268) Thursday, January 19, 2006
I first heard (and used) "honk" in 1997.

#269) Monday, January 23, 2006
you'll be pleased to know the hand transplant I received right before that picture was taken has been wholly successful. At first they weren't sure if giving me the untanned hand of an royal family member would be rejected by my body but fortunately it wasn't.

#270) Monday, January 23, 2006
I guess Kathy was right--I shouldn't sit on my hands when I go to the beach.

#271) Monday, February 06, 2006
Yeah, what Kelley said.

#272) Tuesday, February 07, 2006
you'll be a CJ Performer in no time. Great concept.

#273) Thursday, February 09, 2006

I admit that I cheated; I just wanted the bonus geek points.

#274) Monday, February 13, 2006
"We'll probably end up getting...


#275) Monday, February 13, 2006
Joint purchases are the first step.

#276) Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Hooray for css.

#277) Friday, February 17, 2006
Your purse matches your eyes.

#278) Monday, February 20, 2006
Sell while the house is hot and move back to Florida.

#279) Monday, February 20, 2006
How many were you?

#280) Friday, February 24, 2006
I never understood Strangers with Candy either. The main woman in that show, though, is Amy Sedaris. I mention that only because her brother (David) is the single greatest writer on the planet.

#281) Monday, February 27, 2006
I have to admit that I only read the last paragraph but since I did read that one I think you should move to Hollywood and make movies.

#282) Tuesday, February 28, 2006
You're right--I think everyones whose gone up to speak has had a colon.

#283) Tuesday, March 07, 2006

need more stories about your road rage.

#284) Thursday, March 09, 2006
That picture brings a smile to my face.

#285) Monday, March 13, 2006
...covered with hair?

I know you're jealous of my killer stats. And pie charts.

Hi Rob!

#286) Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I forgot about the Monster.

I think Strip War will probably get you where you want to go if you know what I'm saying. And I think you do.

#287) Wednesday, March 15, 2006
This was the best update ever.

#288) Thursday, March 16, 2006
Adam Sandler? I thought we had agreed upon Russell Crowe.

#289) Thursday, March 16, 2006
Ok, Adam Sandler might ACT me better than Mr. Crowe but what about looks??

#290) Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Boy did I pick the wrong day to buy The Urizone.

#291) Tuesday, March 21, 2006
How is it possible you don't have 100% positive feedback?

#292) Thursday, March 23, 2006
Great update. $2.83/hr...just to live. Wow.

#293) Monday, April 03, 2006
I'm not that cynical although I do enjoy seeing my name is posts.

#294) Monday, April 03, 2006
Oh man, where's that edit button...

#295) Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Java's dead dude.

#296) Wednesday, April 05, 2006
haha, snakes on a plane. I forgot about that.

#297) Thursday, April 06, 2006
What are examples 2 and 3? I totally can't place either of them.

#298) Tuesday, April 11, 2006

#299) Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I don't know how you could have only gotten 2nd if you were singing the words while playing your cornet. In my elementary/middle school no one played trumpets because they were "too loud".

#300) Thursday, April 13, 2006
I was awed by the level of thrills and excitement in your day.

#301) Friday, April 14, 2006
Your Cookie Crips picture made me laugh out loud this morning.

#302) Monday, April 17, 2006
Happy birthday. Maybe one day the rest of us can see your face.

#303) Friday, April 28, 2006
I switched back from Clear Type after about a month. I don't like how, especially on LCD monitors, it makes non-bold fonts really grainy.

#304) Tuesday, May 02, 2006
We had to have a capella sing a longs so I don't want to hear any complaining from anyone.

haha, throwing virtual bombs at virtual landmarks. Mount Rushmore! 1up!

#305) Thursday, May 11, 2006
The longer clips are there just to remind you that you're stupid. AT least that's what they reminded me of...they were all like, "Hey. You're dumb."

#306) Friday, June 09, 2006
As a faux Geek I'd vote AJAX even though RoR might seem more familiar initially.

#307) Monday, June 19, 2006
Boy, that was some father's day present you got him. Hey dad--fix my house.

#308) Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Three cheers for the Kim branch. We rule.

#309) Monday, August 07, 2006
I can tell you right now that I've already uried some hotties.

#310) Monday, August 07, 2006
I would avoid "URInated" if I could at all help it. Sorry Rob.

#311) Monday, August 07, 2006
Apparently so.

#312) Wednesday, August 16, 2006
There is some serious ballot stuffing going on. I need to rig this election in my favor.

#313) Monday, August 21, 2006
#9 was pretty good.

#314) Wednesday, August 23, 2006
My karate instructor told me to watch History of Violence because it has a perfectly executed Tiger Mouth kenpo.

Pretend like you know what that is and then tell me if it's true.

#315) Wednesday, August 23, 2006
When I did it the place where I take kenpo comes up first.

#316) Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I think Popeyes would probably give you a discount if you were to spend over $100b there so you could probably get more than 22b meals with your discounted rate.

#317) Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The 4 x 4 x 4 passage to the attic.

#318) Friday, September 15, 2006
Happy Birthday!

I thought after last year's teaser we'd see you fully nude this time.

#319) Friday, October 06, 2006
Poor Booty and Lake are getting whomped in today's vote.

#320) Monday, October 09, 2006
Thanks Brian. I need to get you some newer pictures.

#321) Wednesday, October 11, 2006
All this time I thought Ellen was a girl. According to picture three she is an upright goat with a big red horn.

#322) Monday, November 06, 2006
He's not afraid to kiss babies or own dogs to earn public favour. And because he's so efficient, hell probably just kiss a baby dog. <--hahaha, you got my vote

#323) Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I'd bet on #1 actually happening.

#324) Wednesday, January 17, 2007
hahaha. I'm totally using that one at work today.

#325) Friday, February 16, 2007
I already know what's in your messy drawers.

#326) Friday, February 16, 2007
It's easy to burn you when the burnee already burned you with it.

#327) Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Yeah right there are no aliens. You guys probably have XML taxonomy for different classes of their stolen ships and misshapen body parts.


#328) Thursday, March 01, 2007
haha, Bridge May Be Spicy.

#329) Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Good. God. That's. Hard.

#330) Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It's official. I know 0 of them. And I've played thousands of hours of rock music sitting right next to the bass.

#331) Thursday, March 15, 2007
I think the majority of inspiration comes from a tiny snippet from something existing. You might only need to hear an interval placed a certain way but once you do you can sometimes write a whole pieces from that little, stolen chunk.`

#332) Thursday, March 15, 2007
That's gross.

#333) Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Way to go Kathy!

It's amazing how poorly my brain phrased those lines. Once you see what song you know where all the beats go and I'm embarrassed to think how many songs I started on beats other than 1.

#334) Thursday, March 22, 2007
Remember, before Babelfish, when all we had was Bob Dylan for lines like that?

#335) Tuesday, April 03, 2007
When Chris and Mike were visiting over Spring Break we went out with some of their friends and one them was caught by TurnItIn. Now, at the bottom of his transcripts it says "STUDENT DISCIPLINED FOR PLAGIARIZING".

When Google comes to your site if you have an exact match of something like 75% (it has to be verbatim, Dr. Fire Pit), that it already has indexed it penalizes your site--so make your stealing occurs with fresh material because if you get indexed first, then the original writer is the thief.

#336) Tuesday, April 03, 2007
I know John Fogarty (of CCR) was sued by CCRs record label (after he went solo) for writing a song that was apparently too similar to a CCR one without giving them any credit (royalties).

#337) Monday, April 16, 2007
What's the year on that?

#338) Thursday, April 19, 2007
But that's only because you haven't mastered using the toilet yet.

#339) Thursday, April 19, 2007
Bobby is totally a "pedafile". Nothing screams underage boys like 300 pound, steroid-filled football players.

#340) Monday, April 23, 2007
haha, Maxx Attack. That brings me back. That guy was lucky I didn't know kenpo then because man, I could have really avenged Marks broken orbital bone.

#341) Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I'm sorry Booty, but I would kick your butt in fight, even if a baby with heartburn were riding on your back slashing at me with a Wii controller.

#342) Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Oh, it's already been broughten.

#343) Wednesday, May 02, 2007
"Inside this envelope, you are first greeted by a tiny sliver of tissue paper, which is too small to catch any happy tears you might cry"

might be the funniest thing you've ever written.

#344) Wednesday, May 02, 2007
hahaha, I forgot about the golem.

#345) Friday, May 04, 2007
I was going to say "point and moldy...haha" but man your new icon is just too funny. haha

#346) Monday, May 07, 2007
Now if memory serves, if you submitted you get to vote for yours and the one a lot more funny than yours right?

#347) Monday, May 07, 2007
God your icon picture is funny. That would have won.

#348) Thursday, May 17, 2007

I think anyone who has ever done anything artistic should watch it just to see Claire.

#349) Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Yeah, that's a keeper.

#350) Tuesday, May 22, 2007
MIDI English Horn is much more pleasing than the real thing.

#351) Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Mission accomplished. That's pretty obnoxious(ly).

#352) Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I didn't realize it until now but I really do say "No problem" as my response to "Thank you". Weirdy.

#353) Wednesday, May 30, 2007

#354) Wednesday, June 06, 2007
My grandparents house had these two grizzly bear rugs made from actual bears my grandfather had shot (there used to be real men in my family). These bears lived under the pool table in the basement until my dad insisted they get rid of them when my brother was running around, got his foot stuck in the mouth of one and it cut him open.

#355) Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Man that picture of you is funny.

#356) Monday, June 11, 2007
Why are you wearing some drapes taken from a Panama City hotel room for the nip slip?

#357) Wednesday, June 13, 2007
What Kathy said.

#358) Thursday, June 14, 2007
I had to vote for U2 of course but seriously, all of them totally suck.

#359) Friday, June 22, 2007
Wow, two chops in one entry. Let that be a lesson to me not to smile in pictures.

#360) Friday, June 22, 2007
"I ordered you online" hahahaha

That's funnier than me in a onesie surrounded by hot chicks.

#361) Friday, June 22, 2007
I also notice I was relegated to #4 on the blog log. AND I was relegated without a URL update.

#362) Friday, June 22, 2007
I have been working on a top-secret program for my blog!

You will see in Monday and be impressed.

#363) Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I'm not sure why, but I can has cheezburger always makes me laugh. It's never that funny but yet it is.

#364) Thursday, July 05, 2007
I don't even have the AIDS futon anymore. I think your blog was passed from Jim to Mark to me.

#365) Thursday, July 12, 2007
Where's the topless-Brian pic?

#366) Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Frames, boo!

Looks good otherwise.

#367) Friday, August 03, 2007
Yeah, I'm ready to wager that picture. There's no buy-in too small to have it exiled upon my come-once-win-once-hated-forever visit.

#368) Monday, August 27, 2007
1) There ought to be a law against American newscasters trying to say Spanish words as though they were Cubanos.

2) Michael Vick belongs in bloody, mangled pieces.

3) I hate having to choose between visiting Starbucks or taking a nap.

4) In the future when tasty food is replaced completely by vitamin pills, I will be a lot healthier.

5) The thing about babies is that they're much cuter at your house than crying next to me in a restaurant.

6) Everything would be alright if only Brian's answer to this question were enforced strictly.

7) The only thing worse than a politician is several politicians.

8) My life is full of


#369) Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Man, I wish I had thought of your #4.

#370) Wednesday, September 19, 2007
You still have a free guest-entry on mine for winning the decipher-the-lyrics challenge.

#371) Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wow Rebecca...I'd hate to hear the answers that didn't win.

#372) Monday, September 24, 2007
The mural says to me the government has taken a particular interest in the ongoings of Sterling--there is a large microphone indiscreetly hidden in far-right light.

#373) Monday, September 24, 2007
On second viewing, that's not actually part of the mural, which makes things a bit more scary.

#374) Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Do it--I totally need a new demographic...if you know what I'm saying...and I think you do.

#375) Friday, September 28, 2007
What are tibs?

#376) Monday, October 01, 2007
I'm pretty sure the best part about October is Food Guy's birthday.

#377) Tuesday, October 09, 2007
That was a really nice entry. I'm amazed at amount of details you remember.

I still use that font all the time for steel drum music. I remember Kathy describing Julie as "crunchy" and that being the first time I had heard that word used to describe someone.

#378) Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I am ready for the guest entry. Seriously.

#379) Tuesday, October 16, 2007
That was weird. Weirdy.

#380) Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Chichi: The soundtrack to an 80s theme show.

#381) Monday, November 26, 2007
November 1997: I had my first college crush, the bass clarinet player in band with me. We would go on to date for a good seven months before I decided I need to sow my wild oats. She responded by moving to Israel to marry an Israeli warrior or something.

#382) Tuesday, November 27, 2007
That might be a little too literal.

#383) Monday, December 10, 2007
I did not write that! That is for realz!

#384) Monday, December 10, 2007
Now I remember why I wanted to comment--picking nursing homes with the best coupons is really funny. I'm totally using that and claiming that as my own this Christmas.

#385) Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I hope your mom really got that $10 gift certificate. Her caption still makes me laugh.

#386) Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It needs more wrong notes.

#387) Thursday, January 03, 2008
I was in Europe for about a month and didn't use a railpass so I can't comment on it but you're going to have a great time.

#388) Friday, January 11, 2008
Man your mom's baby-back ribs caption is funny. I still can't get over it.

#389) Monday, January 14, 2008
What's in the present in living room?

#390) Thursday, January 17, 2008
To paraphrase the Mark Connor of 2001-2003, "Huh".

#391) Friday, January 25, 2008
Cmon PHP syntax! Personally I always forget that explode() doesn't magically remove all of my boss's antiquated code. God knows I've tried it.

#392) Friday, February 08, 2008
The triple-double word was also a puzzler on Car Talk; that's where I first heard it.

#393) Friday, February 15, 2008
It won't be an issue when I have all of your monies; then I can be Winning Mike.

#394) Friday, February 15, 2008
Ah, the picture has been changed to reflect my inability to correctly handle seeing large restaurant bills.

#395) Friday, February 15, 2008
ooh, if you have to share a name with him you can just be "Mike"--I can live with Florida Mike. No one should have to endure what you must go through.

#396) Friday, February 15, 2008
The only person that ever called *me* Chompy was Alex and it still kind of weirds me out.

#397) Friday, February 15, 2008
But then there are two Chompys.

#398) Thursday, February 21, 2008
You are a generous grader.

#399) Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I'm all for my tax dollars going to NASA. Regardless of where it goes it's being wasted anyway but I definitely want it going somewhere where aliens might be involved. That's just me.

#400) Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I had one cavity in 1999 and it was a wonderful experience. It was just horrible enough to make me want to go back for regular cleanings.

#401) Thursday, February 28, 2008
Now that I hear #10 in context I at least recognize the song. The gift certificates are good towards your poker buy-ins right?

#402) Monday, March 10, 2008
Man, we're getting old.

#403) Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I call Museday Tuesdays!

#404) Wednesday, April 23, 2008

For the next week and a half or so, I walked in various states of cripply goodness, and on this last day in London, I was forced to walk with my right leg completely straight, no doubt looking like a modern American peglegged pirate and greatly embarassing my travelmate.

You should have just bought her a parrot costume.

#405) Thursday, April 24, 2008
Good thing you went when you did:

#406) Friday, May 02, 2008
Welcome back!

#407) Monday, May 05, 2008
I'm really looking forward to that musical.

#408) Tuesday, May 06, 2008
They could call it the Sliver Line and stop at all the Home Depots.

#409) Wednesday, May 07, 2008
I forgot that I used to really like DH. Ah, how time flies.

#410) Thursday, May 08, 2008
Happy belated 20th birthday to your mom. I will also be turning 20 in a few months.

#411) Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Truer words have never been spoken.

#412) Friday, May 09, 2008
I just can't believe you thought that was a good episode. Anytime you have to learn something in a dream is a bad sign.

#413) Friday, May 16, 2008
I'm rooting for Friday Freakouts. Don't forget to wear extra rings while typing the entries.

#414) Friday, May 16, 2008
Freakout Fridays it is! Listen to your fan base.

#415) Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I just bought; I think it's going to be a friend-finder for the game.

You both need to get on board fast--Marty is going to Germany tomorrow.

#416) Thursday, May 29, 2008

#417) Monday, June 02, 2008

instead of The Cubs so people wouldn't automatically think they sucked)


#418) Thursday, June 05, 2008
I give it a solid A with friends. It's admittedly not as much fun by yourself.

#419) Tuesday, June 10, 2008
It needs more wrong notes.

#420) Friday, June 13, 2008
That girl-throwing article is just mean..."go play for the Cubs". The first-place-by-a-lot Cubs.

I think random-team voting (rooting for Ohio to beat Kansas so your team moves up a spot) is great--if it weren't for that no one would ever root for Grand Valley State.

#421) Monday, June 16, 2008
Reading the Urizone.

#422) Tuesday, June 17, 2008
My favorite line from your Black Guy Booth link: "Sherry Littlefield of Corvallis said the booth was unnecessary. She and friend Ron Naasko said they have black friends, and would be voting for Barack Obama for president".

#423) Friday, June 27, 2008
CSS is my hot, hot sex. Just ask my padding-bottom.

#424) Monday, June 30, 2008
If I could know, with 100% certainty, that if I had a kid it would be as cute as Ella I'd totally be down.

#425) Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I demand a recount.

#426) Wednesday, July 02, 2008
I think this win seals the "dynasty" term. Congratulations!

#427) Thursday, July 03, 2008
Thanks for plug.

#428) Thursday, July 03, 2008
I totally just got the "I can't wait until independence day" blurb at the top. I thought maybe you set it show it 100% of the time this weekend but no. Spooky.

#429) Tuesday, July 08, 2008
I can't believe Java is coming to a blog near me. That's like a mansion being built in my Levittown.

#430) Tuesday, July 08, 2008

#431) Friday, July 18, 2008
You made that poster over seven years ago. That means you're getting old. What's up Oldielocks--where are you three bears?

#432) Thursday, July 24, 2008
The first time someone really told me something awkward was when I was working at a Toyota parts plant. I was to have my wisdom teeth out that day, and when I mentioned this to a co-worker she countered with her own story and, sparing no detail, compared it to the birth of her first child. The story was so graphic that I started to feel light-headed and mid-sentence I ran away from her to try to find a bathroom to honk. Unfortunately I passed out on the way and slammed face-first into the corner of a desk, effectively ripping off the side of my nose. When I came to, the ambulance was there and I was surrounded mainly by strangers in suits--apparently this was also the day the big-wigs were in from Japan AND I had blown the long streak of days without an accident at the plant.

#433) Thursday, July 24, 2008
My poor nose could have an autobiography on its own.

Katie: I'm glad I told that one instead of the back-up.

#434) Monday, July 28, 2008
Wow--before rereading that Katrina one I forgot how stupid Rachel was. I didn't really need to say that but I wanted to hold on to my #2 slot since I know Anna is competitive and is going to starting a massive commenting campaign to overthrow me.

#435) Monday, July 28, 2008
Anna, You're right. I'm embarrassed to admit it but I am slightly competitive.

#436) Monday, July 28, 2008
I'm also sorry.

#437) Monday, July 28, 2008
Real sorry.

#438) Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Ella can't get enough press. I might cut out today's picture and carry her around in my wallet to try to pick up girls by saying she's my little sister in the hopes of giving the idea that I somehow carry the DNA to produce that kind of cuteness. While it will be an unfortunate surprise later that I do not, I'm willing to take that chance.

#439) Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Oh yeah, that was a pretty huge party foul. I blame the parents.

#440) Tuesday, August 05, 2008
I'm curious to know what the pre-edit was.

#441) Friday, August 08, 2008
Speaking of Anna and gagging smells, I did learn that smelly pee is genetic...and that she and I share that oft-coveted trait. Awesome. I can't believe Second Place Kathy refused to let me win and live up to her name.

#442) Thursday, August 07, 2008
No one can kick mikeandchompy's butt. Even the Cutest Baby in the World. It would be unfair to have all of that going for a single person.

#443) Friday, August 08, 2008
I didn't even really get that picture until right now.

#444) Monday, August 11, 2008
I think you left out the ones that wear T-shirts that say "SHARE THE ROAD". You can read the shirts while they ride in between stopped cars and break every traffic rule. I hate them; there are days I wouldn't mind sharing the front of my car with them.

#445) Wednesday, August 13, 2008
So where are the buttons on the new site that we can use to vote down entries like this one?

#446) Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Ah, MIDI steel drums. I know thee well.

#447) Monday, August 25, 2008
Q: What did the choosy voyeur say to the Pokemon? A: Let me take a Pikachu. I should go work for Leno.

#448) Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I think we're not voting, but if we were: Philip for Letter B. haha

#449) Thursday, September 04, 2008
Nice magnet. Good thing your birthday is coming up.

#450) Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Won't you get your clearance revoked for posting all these secrets?

#451) Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Also, wouldn't a proud-to-American secret social networking site have US date formatting?

#452) Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What I'd really like to do is just come over for a week. During that week we could do all the usual stuff that we do but we could set aside a significant amount of time for each picture taken of me to look good. Even if it takes ten tries because hey, we've got a week. You will single-handedly be able to provide the Mike Museum with its Terrible Photos Wing.

#453) Monday, September 15, 2008
Yeah that's right. We totally played Duck Punch.

#454) Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I'd hate to hear the batch that wasn't mixed to perfection.

#455) Thursday, September 18, 2008
I have the rechargeable version of that mouse and I love it too.

#456) Thursday, September 25, 2008
worst. contest. ever.

#457) Thursday, October 02, 2008
Wow! I can't believe you found that. I wish I still lived in a place where a commission was someone saying, "Hey it would be cool if you wrote me a ..." and then not playing it. Thanks for not posting the MIDI samples.

#458) Monday, October 06, 2008
I don't think you're allowed to talk about your female appeal anymore (although it was legendary).

#459) Friday, October 10, 2008

#460) Tuesday, October 14, 2008
You been working out? Your chest looks bigger.

#461) Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Gee, thanks for glossing over Florida. The only interesting years of your life.

#462) Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I bet they don't know about the Fugue Monster.

#463) Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Damn. Yeah, that one.

#464) Friday, October 31, 2008
I really need to keep my "excited voice" down in a normal range before I regress totally into being a middle school girl.

#465) Friday, October 31, 2008
Oh god, that's my new picture? The unicorn?

#466) Thursday, November 06, 2008
Yeah! #1 blog spot. Take that, slackers.

#467) Thursday, November 06, 2008
I keep forgetting that's my picture. What a deterrent to commenting.

#468) Friday, November 07, 2008
I think you should consider moving into the District. Then you wouldn't have to drive in like twice a year.

#469) Friday, November 07, 2008
Sweet! That's so much better than the inciting-a-gay-orgy picture.

#470) Thursday, November 13, 2008
I had to pre-plan the first kiss with my first real girlfriend in high school. We met outside the theatre before band and sloppily made out. A couple weeks later I left her a breakup note in her band locker because my best friend and I had a breakup pact and he was tired of dating his girlfriend. In my defense, I did not include the shriveled up rose with my breakup note like he did. Ah, memories.

#471) Thursday, November 13, 2008
Apparently most of your friends were too cool in high school to have embarrassing stories.

#472) Friday, November 14, 2008
I am #2 for "U2 sucks" and I'm pretty proud of that.

#473) Tuesday, November 18, 2008
It's a little Take Fivey. Kind of Take Foury, if you will.

#474) Thursday, November 20, 2008
I just like that "lyrics" is listed under Language and Lyrics. Not Mild Lyrics, not Strong Lyrics...just Lyrics.

#475) Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Hooray, Flyblown is back in the lead.

#476) Wednesday, December 03, 2008
I forgot how skinny Booty used to be. I blame the peer pressure of Florida.

#477) Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Maybe you're not doing it right...

#478) Tuesday, December 09, 2008
I'd also like to add that I hate bicyclists. I especially like how they dress up in their full uniforms to go to Whole Foods so they can buy their Lance Armstrong bars or whatever.

#479) Thursday, December 11, 2008
I forgot about the You're Doing It Wrong entry. That was a winner.

#480) Friday, December 12, 2008
I think Anna wants you to move to doing 1 of 1s.

#481) Monday, December 08, 2008
Maybe "everyone poops lesson plans" is merely commentary on the quantity of materials being prepared by our educators.

#482) Friday, December 12, 2008
You use a lot of fff in your scores. I think that's why they're so successful.

#483) Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Obviously, your house is haunted.

#484) Wednesday, December 17, 2008
What's up Killer B? I'd like to see a little more passion--A's and F's.

#485) Monday, December 22, 2008
I once got up before everyone else when I was like 8 and opened everyone's presents. But who hasn't done that?

#486) Tuesday, January 06, 2009
My big resolution is to see every movie you're in.

#487) Wednesday, January 14, 2009
haha, hares in the sheets.

#488) Monday, January 26, 2009
I did too. There's one of White Wedding up on YouTube that makes me wonder how far into the 21st century mankind will survive.

#489) Monday, February 09, 2009
That's a really good picture of Chompy.

#490) Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I wish my signature could be the score for a piece.

#491) Thursday, February 26, 2009
Bisectual. Wow.

#492) Friday, February 27, 2009
"'dildo' is not a very high-scoring venture (in any setting)." Sure it is, you just have to use it in the right places.

#493) Friday, February 27, 2009
Evil-Mike is way better. And casual viewers will be able to figure out who you are a lot more quickly.

#494) Tuesday, March 03, 2009
You listened to rock in grad school? Where were we for that?

#495) Tuesday, March 03, 2009

#496) Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I'm kind of hoping today is outdated-HTML-element day.

#497) Tuesday, March 03, 2009
<blink>blinks</blink> = blinks Same with swapping the "blink" for "marquee". Oh god, I hope I didn't just make the internet a little worse.

#498) Wednesday, March 04, 2009

#499) Thursday, March 05, 2009
Way to go. No wonder I couldn't get any.

#500) Friday, March 13, 2009
One word: ramble.

#501) Friday, March 20, 2009
Good thing there's not a space in Mike's LovePoker or else that would be a softcore porno too.

#502) Monday, March 23, 2009
You taught us how to bet for funsies.

#503) Tuesday, March 24, 2009
You got my hopes up with "Stuff in my Drawers".

#504) Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Happy 500th comment to me!

#505) Thursday, March 26, 2009
I'd be ok with it.

#506) Friday, April 10, 2009
Chompy is a >:(dog

#507) Friday, April 10, 2009
I wasn't sure how to make lolcat appropriate for Chompy and that was the best I could do (even with two takes).

#508) Monday, April 13, 2009
Welcome to the 500 Club!

#509) Thursday, April 16, 2009
You need to start giving F's. Each Review Day I hope to see failure but no. Maybe I'll write a book and send it to you.

#510) Wednesday, May 06, 2009

#511) Wednesday, May 13, 2009
That mystery stain on my wall only appears in pictures. Oooh, ghosties.

#512) Thursday, May 14, 2009
Hooray, an F!

#513) Thursday, May 14, 2009
Oh man, you're four comments ahead of me now?

#514) Friday, May 22, 2009
It is pretty cold up here. A frigid 80.

#515) Friday, May 29, 2009
I can think of someone who needs that book. I hope he has a I Will Be Single Forever registry.

#516) Monday, June 08, 2009
These are my favorite updates by far.

#517) Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Pleeeeeeeeeease can you do #8.

#518) Thursday, June 11, 2009
I hope we can have another sniping match in the comment section like we did on Hat Day.

#519) Thursday, June 11, 2009
You're just a major player as it is. Hey-o.

#520) Thursday, June 11, 2009
I finished rifling through all the eligible girls in DC and had no choice but to move to another metropolitan area to continue my quest.

#521) Monday, June 15, 2009
Educating tomorrow's leaders and petting Chompy in one of the world's leading tourist destinations.

#522) Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Florida always gets the short end of your memory stick.

#523) Friday, June 19, 2009
Seltzer water is great when you mix it with fruit juice. It's a good way to boost your daily water intake without feeling like you're just drinking boring ol' water.

#524) Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I could save $423,500 in tax expenditures right now.

#525) Monday, June 29, 2009
Now I understand why you didn't register for pool glasses.

#526) Monday, July 13, 2009
Evil Mike looks so sad by himself without me to stand next to him in our all wife-less, baby-less glory.

#527) Thursday, July 16, 2009
I love search term day. I wish every day was search term day.

#528) Monday, July 20, 2009
I picked #7 belonging to mom. You're the winner in my book.

#529) Friday, July 24, 2009
It looks like your teeth are about to run a QB draw.

#530) Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Man, it was my lucky day. I've never gone roller skating so I'm certain the poor searcher was not looking for me.

#531) Friday, July 31, 2009
Babies everywhere!

#532) Monday, August 03, 2009
Happy Birthday (I just want to see my new picture).

#533) Thursday, August 06, 2009
We need more Fs. Seriously.

#534) Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm offended that someone found Underdog to Wonderdog annoying.

#535) Thursday, August 27, 2009
I'm (Original) Mike and only commenting because Anna did and I can't let her out-comment me. I am (now, thankfully) a full-time adjunct music theory professor and full-time small business owner. In my free time I pet Chompy and yell at neighborhood kids. I'm also dangerously close to turning 30.

#536) Thursday, August 27, 2009
Oh snap, how did you get 24 ahead of me?

#537) Thursday, August 27, 2009
I live in Lowell, Massachusetts.

#538) Thursday, August 27, 2009
I do not have any babies, nor babies mommas.

#539) Thursday, August 27, 2009
I'm also going on vacation to New Zealand with my brother in January.

#540) Monday, August 31, 2009
Such fancy javascript rollovers!

#541) Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I can say with complete honesty that it was the best middle school use of Anchors Aweigh I've ever heard where you were the conductor. Hands-down.

#542) Thursday, September 03, 2009
Man, I loved Portal. I actually agree with both your grade and synopsis.

#543) Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Why can't every day be Search Term Day?

#544) Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I keep waiting for the holy-shit-I'm-getting-married update. No dice.

#545) Monday, October 26, 2009
Didn't update my blog out of respect for yours.

#546) Wednesday, November 11, 2009
UWM makes the news AND CSS in one post!

#547) Tuesday, November 24, 2009
People of Wal-Mart (NSFW)

#548) Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I like Chomple. I don't even need to see the site.

#549) Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Chompy! I love search term day so much.

#550) Friday, February 19, 2010
Wow. I guess I repressed that memory.

#551) Monday, March 01, 2010
Have fun, dudes!

#552) Thursday, March 04, 2010
I know the only reply is "duh" but that is retardedly beautiful.

#553) Thursday, March 11, 2010
Wow, an A+.

#554) Thursday, May 06, 2010
I hate it so much that I really don't even want to watch the finale for an reason than to say that I did.

#555) Thursday, May 27, 2010
FINALE SPOILERS: Those are some generous grades. I felt the only way the ending could have been worse than "and look, they're dead" was if they had gone down the "it was all a dream" path. I only pass the show with a C- because they got an A+ on their first two tests with D/Fs the rest of the way.

#556) Wednesday, September 01, 2010

#557) Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Now I'm concerned about growing an extra on my birthday.

#558) Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I just saw this on another friend's feed and didn't get it. Now I kind of do:

#559) Friday, October 08, 2010
Yeah, buddy!

#560) Wednesday, October 13, 2010
My weekend was good. I got to act out Gloria Steinem.

#561) Friday, October 15, 2010
That finger thing blows my mindlets.

#562) Friday, November 05, 2010
I'll see if I can help with some of these: Rum and Coke can be delicious once you leave college and get a job where you can afford more than a $6 bottle of rum. Ten foot ceilings make you feel like you're not trapped inside your own home if you're more than six feet tall. I got nothing on the rest. Do people actually read online poker hand histories?

#563) Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I love these days.

#564) Thursday, November 18, 2010

#565) Tuesday, November 30, 2010
How do I not remember this? Surely it must have been the Heiniken.

#566) Friday, December 03, 2010
I'm going to the FSU/VT game. Since you can't watch the game and I have a very short term memory just tell me you saw me on TV.

#567) Thursday, February 17, 2011
Way to go, dude.

#568) Friday, April 22, 2011
He's not wrong.

#569) Monday, May 09, 2011
If you undergo gene therapy how many genes do you have to change in order to get the end result? All of them? One of them? I honestly do not understand how this works.

#570) Friday, May 13, 2011
I'll update again now that the school year is over and my Scheisslings have better things to do than read my blog.

#571) Wednesday, July 13, 2011
I also like the darkest one in the middle. Is it called "Hungover Pee"?

#572) Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Y'all have a rough life.

#573) Thursday, July 28, 2011
haha, bromide-burn!

#574) Monday, August 01, 2011


2) At present I am reading from a villa in Saint Barthelemy in the French Antilles. I feel like just because of that I should win. 3) I really only am here for two things: Search Day and hoping that Rob will once again spend a long time anonymously correcting something.

#575) Monday, August 08, 2011
There are so many people I'd like to thank: Brian, Rebecca, God, The Number 3. But mostly, I'd like to thank myself because if it hadn't been for me I would have never won this contest.

#576) Monday, August 08, 2011
I hope the pre-edit post was a long, expletive-laden rant.

#577) Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I can't believe you're adding the +1s. Now you'll really need to have more Search Term days.

#578) Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I like how your dad just completely bulldozes through all your sarcasm without even blinking.

#579) Wednesday, September 21, 2011
How do you have that Kicking Kathy picture? I ask only because I could swear it was one that was taken on my film camera which I just had developed and digitized before I moved to LA.

#580) Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Interesting. I have a weird hybrid of that collection. I'm going to put all of them online eventually.

#581) Thursday, September 22, 2011
When Steve and I were driving across the country he recounted the story from this series to me as we drove endlessly through the western states.

#582) Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Nothing ruins a great piece like performers.

#583) Monday, October 24, 2011
That was quite the weekend. Way to go Mike!

#584) Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I love these days.

#585) Thursday, October 27, 2011
Having been to Sterling many times, I would vote for the inverted exclamation points. ?Se habla espa?ol!

#586) Wednesday, November 02, 2011
If you post one of your kid he'll be an internet child priest.

#587) Wednesday, November 09, 2011
I would have thought you'd have fallen asleep after Death Spank.

#588) Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Babies everywhere...

#589) Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I remember when I used to work for the State of Florida writing names of criminals on manila folders thinking "Man, this is the biggest waste of time in the entire universe." and then I'd think "No, History of Music Theory."

#590) Wednesday, November 30, 2011
It was a Spanish guy in my German class. His name was Segundo and he stole Bobbi The All-American Girl away from Alex AND assumed I worked at Tallahassee Nurseries. I take solace in the fact that he failed the German class but even more solace in that he's gotta be near death by now.

#591) Monday, December 05, 2011
Yeah, jean shorts.

#592) Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I liked it.

#593) Thursday, December 22, 2011
I'd actually been thinking about getting this because all my students were saying how great it was on FB so it's nice to have an adult opinion to go with those.

#594) Friday, January 13, 2012
Mr. Uri. What a guy. I'd buy him dinner.

#595) Thursday, January 19, 2012
Rough day for the reviewed. It's an F away from a high school report card.

#596) Monday, January 23, 2012

#597) Thursday, January 26, 2012
I can't think of a show with a more steep drop from funny to unwatchable than Community.

#598) Thursday, January 26, 2012
I quit about halfway through Season 2. I found it not just bad but truly unwatchable.

#599) Monday, January 30, 2012
I've found that high-achieving people not only do not consider themselves successful but in fact think they're doing markedly worse than their peers. How do you feel like you compare to your peers in terms of achievement? A graphic might be helpful in explaining it.

#600) Tuesday, January 31, 2012
That was nice.

#601) Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Why weren't you allowed to wear shorts?

#602) Friday, February 03, 2012
Watching you do that makes my eyes water.

#603) Monday, February 20, 2012
I wish just for one election we could elect people that ignored all of their duties except to vote in favor of single-term limits on all politicians and the end of all private election financing. Or we could just have a benevolent dictatorship.

#604) Monday, February 20, 2012
I'm on board with your staggered system. It's the career politicians that seemingly do the most damage.

#605) Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Your accompanist sounds like she actually practiced your piece. That's more than I ever got. You deserved that 1.

#606) Friday, March 09, 2012
If you could make two of your friends switch lives for a week for your amusement which two would you choose and why?

#607) Monday, March 12, 2012
Having to get up that early the day after Daylight Savings PLUS an Anal Glad Express. Wow.

#608) Tuesday, March 20, 2012
If we're to ever trip acid that's what I'd want playing when I described it afterwards.

#609) Wednesday, March 21, 2012
I'm sorry for your loss. It must be an extremely difficult time.

#610) Monday, March 26, 2012
Wow. That's a blast from the past indeed.

#611) Monday, March 26, 2012
What I really remember about that is Chompy (Ginger) drinking sea water and spraying diarrhea in 3' long streams all over the beach.

#612) Monday, April 02, 2012
Booty used to be so small!

#613) Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I actually live about 20 minutes away from Angela now. I also wish we had more pictures from this time.

#614) Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I messaged her on FB when I moved but we only really reply to each other every month or so. She lives in Santa Monica so it wouldn't be hard to get down there but our schedules are pretty busy--she makes commercials now.

#615) Monday, April 16, 2012
You seemingly took getting hit by a texter a lot better than I would.

#616) Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Booyah! Well said.

#617) Friday, April 20, 2012
I don't know how broil differs from bake. If something calls for broiling I move the rack to the slowest slot in the oven and cook it there. I never really appreciated that I was wrong until now.

#618) Friday, April 20, 2012
@Rebecca--really? I think that's the sign that you've been living life the right way.

#619) Friday, May 04, 2012
That is a fine looking steed.

#620) Tuesday, May 08, 2012
I'm impressed your very first piece had any chromaticism at all. My first one, the blockbuster Colors, certainly did not.

#621) Friday, May 11, 2012
600 Days? Wow. You should come visit LA.

#622) Monday, May 14, 2012
I'll totally buy that Zarlino from you if you didn't pitch it.

#623) Monday, May 14, 2012
I would love both, actually. Having extra books is so handy when you need to make a bunch of handouts and worksheets and are too lazy to write your own examples but don't want your students to see ones that are in their book and likely on other quizzes.

#624) Friday, May 18, 2012
I'm with your mom--#1 for me is nauseous/nauseated. Sometimes I use it wrong on purpose so I can fit in.

#625) Friday, May 25, 2012
They took my boy!

#626) Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I like that there's a tags tag.

#627) Monday, June 11, 2012
If you could have a re-do day of any day in your life, which day would it be and why? You don't need to preface it with the whole "Well, if things hadn't worked out the way they did I wouldn't have Rebecca, and Booty, etc, etc".

#628) Tuesday, June 12, 2012
How do you get by with just one monitor? I guess I should have asked that in yesterday's post.

#629) Thursday, July 12, 2012
Your vacation 12 of 12 is way better than mine and not only because you posted yours.

#630) Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Brian: He either eats here ori doesn't.

#631) Friday, August 10, 2012
I outperformed The Others. I would like to thank Locke and Jack and Sayid for making that possible.

#632) Wednesday, August 15, 2012

#633) Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Wrong notes are exciting notes.

#634) Monday, August 27, 2012
What do you think of Breaking Bad? The only times I think about it is once a week when Facebook explodes with html hearts about it.

#635) Monday, August 27, 2012
Wow, that's high praise. I suppose that tilts me in favor of getting caught up on it now.

#636) Monday, September 10, 2012
All the best entries come when I'm out of town and not checking the site! I really hope you don't have an onmouseup event for tracking the things in here that get typed and then deleted before the post goes up.

#637) Friday, September 14, 2012
1989 you is my favorite. You look like you could set someone on fire and be all, "Yeah, whatever. Don't touch my legos."

#638) Monday, September 17, 2012
Good luck with that Volvo. Congratulations on being 1/3 dead!

#639) Thursday, September 20, 2012
I just finished watching BB Season 2. I watched Game of Thrones before getting in BB and now I can't fairly compare BB because I loved GoT so much that every character on BB seems so flat.

#640) Thursday, September 20, 2012
I haven't really followed the hype around the show but if he hasn't won every single award you can win for acting then I'll be very disappointed.

#641) Monday, September 24, 2012
I'm so jealous of your dearth of chest hair. I could braid mine and use it to help maidens climb out of towers.

#642) Monday, September 24, 2012
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be: concise--but if I had second word it would be benevolent.

#643) Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Yay for happy friends.

#644) Monday, October 08, 2012
Damn straight.

#645) Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Fighting off twenty composers? Man, let me know where those jobs are. The last one for which I applied, as an adjunct, had 350.

#646) Tuesday, October 16, 2012
#2 for sure.

#647) Friday, October 19, 2012
Your Doogie Howser synth sound exactly the same as the original. Well done. I'm biased since I learned both of those songs early on in my piano lessons.

#648) Tuesday, October 23, 2012
I took the first semester of that class and for my assignment I picked some really obscure piece and soloist, completely made-up what a solo could look like, typed it immaculately into Finale, and got an A despite not even listening to the recording. It was at that moment I knew I could make it as a professor.

#649) Tuesday, November 06, 2012
That was a fun update.

#650) Friday, November 09, 2012
My favorite was the Biblebeltasaurus.

#651) Thursday, November 15, 2012
Hi! I'm in your extra bedroom not eating Rebecca's chocolates.

#652) Monday, November 19, 2012
I can't tell you how happy I am to not see my name on that list.

#653) Friday, November 23, 2012
That's cute.

#654) Tuesday, November 27, 2012
For me, the point of writing music is because you want a certain piece that's not out there. If what you love is already out there then just listen/play it and be a performer/listener. There was a guy at the festival this summer who wrote just like Scriabin, his favorite composer. I find that much more horrific than bleep/bloop simply because it's your own bleep/bloop.

#655) Wednesday, November 28, 2012
I should write you more emails.

#656) Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Wow, fun flashbacks. I passed that with a 27/28 (FU Mussorgsky) but it took me another three tries after the time you passed it. I got a steak dinner from Alex, though, who bet me he would do better. Sackbut.

#657) Friday, December 07, 2012
1) It seems like just yesterday, probably stemming from the fact it was indeed just yesterday: I play in an extremely competitive poker club where the winner gets a paid-for slot in the World Series of Poker. It's not friendly at all and things like even bumping another person's cards as they're being dealt has serious penalties. Anyway, I was shuffling the cards and some shot out and went onto the floor. I picked them up then went about my merry way. A few hands later, as I got up to get a beer, I realized that I had managed to shoot four cards under my seat and quickly sat back down on them before anyone else noticed. I waited until it was my turn to deal again and then shuffled them back in. Unfortunately, three people went out during the time those cards were out of the deck and all three were still in the running to go to the WSOP and are now out. Oops. 2) Keep one of these in your car. 3) Return to the blogosphere. It's tough when you teach because your students find things and you don't really want them reading about how much you hate them when you could be telling it to them in person the next day.

#658) Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I'm also using SIX PROXIES!!!

#659) Thursday, December 13, 2012
I hope you file Anal Glands Express away for when Museday Tuesday comes back.

#660) Friday, January 04, 2013
Cal State, no!

#661) Tuesday, January 15, 2013
I forgot about the time I forgot to bring her with me. Thanks for the tribute--it's been a long couple of days.

#662) Friday, January 25, 2013
Yay Evil Mike!

#663) Monday, January 28, 2013
When are we going to put a band together? I have the rehearsal space so you should move out here.

#664) Wednesday, January 30, 2013
That was a competitive game for us.

#665) Wednesday, February 06, 2013
You were Spiderman. All of my childhood pictures involved military planes dropping poorly-drawn missiles on everything. I guess I should have gone with that on Confessions Day.

#666) Thursday, February 07, 2013
Do you ever harbor escapism fantasies and, if so, where do you think you might like to escape to?

#667) Friday, February 08, 2013
Good catching up with you today.

#668) Tuesday, February 19, 2013
iTunes is the biggest piece of shit ever created by man. Google Chrome is pretty good if you don't mind Google recording everything you do. I still have use FF and Winamp too. I didn't realize people still chatted.

#669) Wednesday, March 06, 2013
I'm just glad you guys are ok.

#670) Friday, March 22, 2013
When are we going to jam?

#671) Tuesday, March 26, 2013
haha, Anna's!

#672) Thursday, April 04, 2013
The elusive F! Eat it,!

#673) Tuesday, April 09, 2013
Please tell me there is a recording of this.

#674) Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Wow, the Army Band. That's a a real performance accomplishment on par with other prestigious gigs like being a bell ringer for pennies outside TJMaxx at Christmas.

#675) Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Minecraft! It's only $26.

#676) Wednesday, April 24, 2013
No kidding. I just played it for the first time about a week ago. And nonstop since then.

#677) Wednesday, April 24, 2013
I believe it. I'm embarrassed by how quickly I got into it and just how much time I've sunken into doing nothing.

#678) Friday, May 03, 2013
I thought the Canadian Brass was a bunch of old guys playing lame songs but really they're a bunch of young guys playing even lamer songs. Adult Me is really upset that Young Me listened to them so much in middle and high school.

#679) Tuesday, May 07, 2013
Yours is the only blog I still read. Thanks, Facebook!

#680) Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Homestar Runner! The guy that created that was at FSU with us. And who doesn't like Trogdor the Burninator?

#681) Friday, May 24, 2013
I think you should get a vote for every comment you leave.

#682) Friday, May 24, 2013
I agree.

#683) Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Now you'd be put on medication for having a gun there. I say that while acknowledging almost all my drawings from that age have planes dropping bombs on everything.

#684) Wednesday, June 05, 2013

#685) Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I hope #3 isn't true or I'm 3x the problem you are.

#686) Friday, June 28, 2013
It does go by pretty quick. Maybe you could make a photoshop party of us using current pictures so we can pretend we still go to the same parties.

#687) Thursday, July 04, 2013
It was so good to see everyone. And no one brought babies which made it even better.

#688) Friday, July 05, 2013
Affliction? You mean badassery?

#689) Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Baseball cards.

#690) Tuesday, July 23, 2013
duh duh duh...

#691) Monday, July 29, 2013
That's the worst phase. I wish women would go through a "Why are all my ladyfriends treating their men so well?" phase.

#692) Monday, July 29, 2013
Yeah, that would be pretty awesome too.

#693) Monday, August 05, 2013
Yay or nay on House of Cards? After wasting so much time with Breaking Bad I no longer trust the Consensus of The Internet to make my pop culture decisions for me.

#694) Tuesday, August 06, 2013
That's quite reasonable. Well played, sir.

#695) Thursday, August 08, 2013
I hated AD Season 4. Except from Gob (and also the Indian taxi driver that I went to high school with) it's F-worthy. F--worthy. Yeah, that second one is a minus.

#696) Friday, August 16, 2013
Wow. Seeing this makes me call my own grooming into question.

#697) Friday, August 23, 2013
I think you should ask for a trip to Los Angeles. Do you have any concepts for a television show that I can steal and share with the industry?

#698) Friday, August 30, 2013
I think I'll go with Uptown Abbey. Then I get angry when people pronounce it Upton.

#699) Wednesday, September 04, 2013
How much of your journal, if any, was written in case someone found it?

#700) Friday, September 06, 2013
I was with you on the carrot and stick. I did, though, get locked in some lockers in high school. I'm not sure that's the same style of bullying as today where the bullies tag you in unflattering pictures on Facebook.

#701) Monday, September 09, 2013
By leaving comments.

#702) Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Great. I'll take a dozen Last Single Friends.

#703) Friday, September 13, 2013
I would vote for 2007 you as Hottest You.

#704) Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Thanks! That was a really fun day.

#705) Thursday, October 10, 2013
Have you seen Gravity? I was so excited to see an F grade that I thought I would offer something else fail-worthy.

#706) Tuesday, October 22, 2013
That's a killer theme song. Did you ever play like Heroes of Might and Magic II?

#707) Thursday, October 31, 2013
IS THAT REALLY WHAT MARRIAGE IS ABOUT? I'm not sure why I felt this way but for some reason it seemed the right thing to do to write that in all caps.

#708) Thursday, October 31, 2013
Maybe I was channeling pre-married, pre-kids Alex.

#709) Thursday, November 07, 2013
I actually saw This Is The End and the only character I knew was Michael Cera and didn't find it very funny except for the parts with him in it so I hear what you're saying.

#710) Friday, November 08, 2013
I use the View button on Google Drive all the time. I can't be bothered to download those 100Kb files.

#711) Friday, November 08, 2013
Ooh, now that's true.

#712) Wednesday, November 13, 2013
That's the truth ^^

#713) Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Was your college application's title Brian Uri!: The Balance Between Steven Foster and Schoenberg? That would have been awesome.

#714) Monday, November 18, 2013
What a loser that guys is.

#715) Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Your dad should move to LA and do voice over work.

#716) Tuesday, January 28, 2014
VIVA paper towels for sure.

#717) Tuesday, January 07, 2014
I got a 2/10. I've been the road so I've been a little behind in Urizoning but I felt like no one appreciated your onmouseover quiz.

#718) Thursday, February 13, 2014
God, I hope there's not something in your comment script that captures and stores comments on a letter-by-letter entry that gives you the comment we originally typed and then thought better of.

#719) Friday, February 14, 2014
Is there a simple game we could play together online? Also, I like these up and down updates.

#720) Friday, February 14, 2014
I still had been playing Minecraft until I updated to Windows 8.1 and my display driver decided to rid me of any time-wasting activities.

#721) Monday, February 24, 2014
I'm really liking House of Cards.

#722) Tuesday, February 25, 2014

#723) Tuesday, April 01, 2014
Invest in commercial real estate. For real.

#724) Thursday, April 10, 2014
Happy Birthday!

#725) Wednesday, May 07, 2014
How do you survive with just one monitor?

#726) Monday, June 02, 2014
I'm surprised cornhole is still around.

#727) Wednesday, June 04, 2014
That's a lot of badges.

#728) Wednesday, June 04, 2014
+1 to Mom. That's what I was going to say.

#729) Monday, June 09, 2014
I'm training for Kilimanjaro which is only a couple months away now. You guys could both kick my ass in a fight and really that's what counts.

#730) Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Do you feel now, 21 years out, that you have a worthy use of your powers?

#731) Monday, June 09, 2014
How great would it be to be the "pusher" in a game between two wheelchair-bound racquetball players? And by great I, of course, mean weird.

#732) Wednesday, June 18, 2014
That Applebee's is where I also had my first Tallahassee dinner.

#733) Monday, June 23, 2014
Did you invite 17 year olds to the party? Did the vodka actually taste like cake?

#734) Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Even though I haven't lived in that place since 2003 sometimes I'll walk into a bar even now and think "smells like home".

#735) Friday, June 27, 2014
I was going to ask all of those questions too.

#736) Wednesday, July 23, 2014
I like the new fixed top that follows as you scroll down. It's like Facebook but without having to see pictures of babies.

#737) Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Nothing is wrong with babies. You're not one of the people that floods my newsfeed with daily photos of Baby Banalities (so thanks for that) but you're also in elite company.

#738) Monday, July 28, 2014
Looks like good times.

#739) Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Wow, that is a really funny avatar.

#740) Tuesday, July 29, 2014
That's totally true. Mine just shimmies to and fro during that last 15 minutes.

#741) Monday, July 28, 2014
I unfortunately would have had little to offer in the way of either babies or band music.

#742) Thursday, July 31, 2014
Oh man, I was totally going to my triumphant return as a Wordpress blog.

#743) Tuesday, August 05, 2014
Those are generous criteria to earn a Republican Merit Badge although I particularly like the third one.

#744) Thursday, August 21, 2014
When is Friend Review Day? I'd like to see some people scored.

#745) Thursday, August 21, 2014
True and true.

#746) Friday, August 22, 2014
How about an Oxford comma up in that? You should sit on the newsletter punctuation committee.

#747) Monday, September 15, 2014
One year you should replace the current year with an old year just to see if anyone notices that you never appear any older.

#748) Tuesday, September 16, 2014
That sounds like a lot of bacon.

#749) Friday, September 19, 2014
It's going to be a lot harder to do that once you move to Seattle.

#750) Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I've gotten so much better at persuasion over the years. Can I try to bring you back to the exciting world of composing now that it's been eight years of the same work?

#751) Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Yeah but it's much easier now. It's not nearly as notey as it used to be.

#752) Friday, October 03, 2014
I knew aliens were real. I knew it.

#753) Friday, October 10, 2014
Do you see yourselves in Sterling for an infinite time and if not, do you already have a future location picked out in which to live?

#754) Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Definitely; it's like 90% hugging deer and 10% Bill Gates throwing money at the homeless.

#755) Friday, October 17, 2014
I'm pretty sure Seattle meets those requirements. If you fall in love I'll move up there and be your neighbor.

#756) Tuesday, October 21, 2014
I'm surprised your electronics worked in an EMP museum.

#757) Thursday, October 23, 2014
It worked! She defied death.

#758) Friday, October 24, 2014
It looks like a shark got buried.

#759) Tuesday, October 28, 2014
$600k is a steal! It's not too late to reconsider.

#760) Tuesday, November 04, 2014
*I'm* not happy I couldn't join you but seeing those pictures make my knees super happy that I couldn't join you.

#761) Wednesday, November 19, 2014
That was a rough team. I've blocked out most of the memories from that but I do recall the guy from Craven Moorehead and Associates elbowing Mark in the face and the Waste Management team beating us like 200-3.

#762) Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Kathy, your avatar always makes me laugh.

#763) Wednesday, November 19, 2014
You feel all caps on the inside.

#764) Thursday, November 20, 2014
Weekly GPA of a 2.34. Ouch.

#765) Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Do you want me to kick that kid's ass?

#766) Friday, November 28, 2014
Someone really talented with a camera must have taken that stellar picture.

#767) Tuesday, December 02, 2014
Goose? I guess I'm not up on my spam terms.

#768) Tuesday, December 02, 2014
Like the down is made of just a single Goose? That's the type of hipster-mandated homogeneity that I would associate with Canadians.

#769) Thursday, December 04, 2014
6/10! Bringing my average to 50% makes me feel better about the 4/10 last time.

#770) Wednesday, December 17, 2014
How old is your dad in this picture?

#771) Wednesday, January 07, 2015
I think that's why it was called Degrassi High. I haven't made that joke like twenty years.

#772) Friday, January 09, 2015
1) I'm not sure but probably zero and anticipate keeping it that way. 2) Las Vegas / Los Angeles 3) Stochastic application in music 4) Chompy 2.0

#773) Tuesday, January 13, 2015
You seem awfully dressed up. Was that for 12 of 12?

#774) Tuesday, January 13, 2015
I'll root for the former.

#775) Thursday, January 29, 2015
Yeah F!

#776) Friday, January 30, 2015
Did you catch asthma?

#777) Tuesday, February 03, 2015
When someone undergoes genetic therapy, how is it able to "take" since not every single cell's DNA is being altered? Why don't the unaltered cells overtake the altered ones and revert the person back to the original state? I asked an honest-to-god geneticist this but her answer was neither witty nor distilled in any way for my consumption.

#778) Tuesday, February 03, 2015
Huh, I don't remember seeing that at all. I'll think of something better for this round then.

#779) Tuesday, February 03, 2015
I totally got it and this has driven me crazy forever PLUS you probably already know the answer: At the base of computer interaction there's the CPU handling machine code and other code is compiled into it but at a certain point wouldn't machine code need to be able to read itself as binary? How would that be possible?

#780) Tuesday, February 10, 2015
I keep forgetting VA can sometimes be a blue state.

#781) Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Oh man!

#782) Friday, February 20, 2015
Sucks to have bought in 2006 and tried to sell in 2010. Did you think about buying up your whole neighborhood at the height of the recession?

#783) Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Dr. Uri, Thank you for taking my question and fielding it so deftly (and with js popups--I thought one might rick roll me for old time's sake). What I still don't understand is: at its core in the CPU where the hard-wired mapping is, what runs these 1:1 mapped commands? Said another way, it seems like some comparative process would have to exist just to say "it's asking for addition" and that comparative question would be answered by what?

#784) Tuesday, February 24, 2015
That's totally it! That analogy was perfect in every way possible. Thanks a lot.

#785) Wednesday, February 25, 2015
^^ Haha

#786) Thursday, February 26, 2015
What! GotG is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I was shocked to see such a generous rating.

#787) Thursday, February 26, 2015
My God, have you been slaughtering me with inferior decks?

#788) Wednesday, March 04, 2015
I think you saw me on 2/14 in Columbia Heights which would bump me up.

#789) Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Please tell me it's eating its own poop while hissing in that video.

#790) Friday, March 13, 2015
You totally asked me, "Well why don't you put it in the cloud" and I didn't appreciate it for what it was.

#791) Friday, March 13, 2015
"Changes occurences of "butt" or "my butt" to "butt" or "my butt" respectively and only in proper context (not weather sites, if possible)."

#792) Monday, March 16, 2015
That was a fun party. "Returned Mike" sounds like LA brought me back with a gift receipt.

#793) Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Google was obviously unable to extract adequate personal data from its hosted projects to make it worth their while. That's aggravating.

#794) Thursday, March 26, 2015
I remember at one point Chompy had run into the swamps and being sure we would never see her again.

#795) Wednesday, April 08, 2015
haha, Seabird Cafe.

#796) Friday, April 17, 2015
Will do a Review Day except with your friends? We are (mostly, I think) tough enough to withstand your grades and excoriating commentary.

#797) Tuesday, April 21, 2015
It's an honor to be reviewed as favorably as such stalwarts: In a World..., Modern Family (Season 1), and Ender's Shadow.

#798) Friday, May 01, 2015
You bought a beach house that was ~5x less than your car? Is it on the Anacostia?

#799) Tuesday, May 05, 2015
5. #7 should be B: we're really clapping for the unpracticed and cliched-lick parts?

#800) Friday, May 22, 2015

#801) Wednesday, June 17, 2015
That's awesome. I'm surprised you've held on to this one for so long.

#802) Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Wow,that looks great. Congratulations to you and your dad.

#803) Friday, June 26, 2015
That's a lot of dynamite for one camping trip.

#804) Tuesday, July 07, 2015
2 but with current grade inflation that's an A-.

#805) Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Dealing with the broken-down Taurus.

#806) Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Exhibits like that are supposed to remind you that everything is art.

#807) Wednesday, July 15, 2015
If you want it to be.

#808) Wednesday, July 15, 2015
That's fair.

#809) Friday, July 17, 2015
Maybe a section of optimized links to your favorite coupon sites.

#810) Friday, July 17, 2015
Reach out to more guest posters! I'd love to whose grammar Rob Kelley is blithely criticizing these days.

#811) Monday, July 27, 2015
Is it the most gorgeous place in the world or did my 1997-brain store it in the same category as Munich's Glockenspiel is the most awesome thing in the world?

#812) Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Why do you have so many nips in that first picture?

#813) Friday, August 14, 2015
That explains why your whites are never really their whitest.

#814) Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Los Angeles, the idyllic Grindelwald of California.

#815) Thursday, September 03, 2015
I liked Silicon Valley too. I hated the first episode I saw but then accidentally left it playing after GoT and liked it more once I got over being offended by it.

#816) Friday, September 04, 2015
Did you really bring a flute?

#817) Tuesday, September 08, 2015
It was good you didn't watch the game--VT was demolished. I even rooted for them too.

#818) Friday, September 18, 2015
Of all the well-intentioned advice you've received over the years, what do you think has been the least congruent with your life experiences to date?

#819) Tuesday, September 22, 2015

#820) Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Welcome to Dahmer's, our special tonight is the Fried Hand Roll.

#821) Thursday, October 15, 2015
An A+. I can't believe it.

#822) Friday, October 16, 2015
Isn't that all Outrage (including real-life)?

#823) Friday, November 13, 2015
Are you going to make a time lapse of yourself aging in the bathroom one day?

#824) Friday, November 13, 2015
Oh snap, I missed that post. I'm looking forward to the GIF.

#825) Tuesday, November 17, 2015
What advice do you think Future You At 50 would give current you?

#826) Thursday, November 26, 2015
You might want to splurge on organic turkey next year.

#827) Tuesday, January 19, 2016
All the things your mom said.

#828) Friday, January 22, 2016
The house across from me in Las Vegas is for sale. Just saying.

#829) Friday, January 29, 2016
I'll be interested to see how the S5 does on your review day. I hated the S4 but really like the Note 5.

#830) Tuesday, February 02, 2016
To which email should I send the CANDY CRUSH JELLY invitations?

#831) Wednesday, February 03, 2016
I was going to ask if you still got a shirt. My family all had matching shirts like that except they were yellow and had our names on the back because we had gotten ours by redeeming them with Cheerios box tops thus having CHEERIOS emblazoned on the front.

#832) Tuesday, February 09, 2016
What's the funniest thing you've ever experienced, whether a comedian's joke or just something weird that happened that you found hilarious.

#833) Thursday, February 11, 2016
Man, you're a generous grader.

#834) Tuesday, February 16, 2016
haha @ Evil Mike's response.

#835) Tuesday, February 23, 2016
I think this 5/10 is the best I've ever done. Too bad I got the grad school dinner question wrong :/

#836) Friday, March 04, 2016
I think Haskem Askew is the most successful: He's been able to avoid being the result of a single google search this entire time.

#837) Monday, March 07, 2016
Who won???

#838) Tuesday, March 08, 2016
Aww, Booty.

#839) Monday, April 11, 2016
Happy Birthday to your mom! Are you sad to be without Sydney now?

#840) Friday, April 29, 2016
I though deer did the grazing.

#841) Monday, May 02, 2016
The weekend was rad. Saw Sir Elton John and he sounded, surprisingly, amazing.

#842) Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Are you deliberately posting more cat photos to Facebook? If so, is it because you're sad about Sydney's departure?

#843) Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Mango is too stoic for pictures. She's serious and worried all the time (must get that from her mom).

#844) Thursday, June 02, 2016
It's so much better than Windows 8 that it doesn't matter to me how much worse it is than XP. Windows 8 set the bar so impossibly low that it really does feel awesome even when it makes me manually input the WiFi settings every morning.

#845) Friday, June 03, 2016
A faint heart never won a fair lady. Don't forget to trash everything about Google!

#846) Monday, June 06, 2016
You'll be rewarded by the current season of GoT if you can make it here.

#847) Tuesday, June 14, 2016
That's a good drawing for an 8th grader (or me right now).

#848) Friday, June 17, 2016
239, haha

#849) Monday, June 27, 2016
Looking good!

#850) Monday, August 01, 2016
Looks good! What did you use to make the YouTube video?

#851) Monday, August 01, 2016
I want to reiterate how much I enjoy Search Term Day.

#852) Wednesday, August 03, 2016
We just started watching Bloodline. I'm not sure who is leaving shows like that four-star reviews. Watching The Night Of on mute would have been more interesting.

#853) Friday, August 05, 2016
That's the nicest couple adjective we've ever received (displacing phlegmatic).

#854) Friday, August 05, 2016
Golly, that's a nice one too.

#855) Wednesday, August 17, 2016
I don't understand how the population of Estes Park isn't like a million from all the people that go there and then decide to never leave.

#856) Wednesday, September 07, 2016
What is the music from your video?

#857) Monday, October 03, 2016
Man, that was a long time ago. The president hadn't even started going grey yet.

#858) Wednesday, October 05, 2016
I had that same bird/tape Transformer. It was special to me because it was only one of two *real* Transformers we had--all the rest were GoBots.

#859) Wednesday, October 05, 2016
Also, I hereby jettison Mango.

#860) Monday, October 10, 2016
Nice work.

#861) Thursday, October 20, 2016
What were your final debate grades?

#862) Monday, October 24, 2016
Looks nice!

#863) Monday, November 07, 2016
2/10. Where were the gimmies like Favorite Wife's Name?

#864) Friday, November 11, 2016
I predict you'll let me guest post a more aggressive post-election advice column.

#865) Friday, November 11, 2016
Damn! Swing and a miss.

#866) Monday, November 21, 2016
Congratulations! Working for a startup is really fun and the amount of swag will, believe it or not, like quadruple.

#867) Thursday, November 24, 2016
Oh man, no Black Friday post with, dunno, maybe some of your favorite coupon websites?

#868) Thursday, November 24, 2016
No, that's why it's important to support them lest they go the way of other relics of the early aughts like Woot and

#869) Wednesday, December 07, 2016
Megatron is legit present though for a fake Santa. Our fake Santa got us stuff like this:

#870) Monday, December 12, 2016
Is there any reason in particular that you continue to use a wired keyboard, particularly with a standing desk?

#871) Monday, December 12, 2016
Fair enough. It's weird not seeing your old office in a 12/12.

#872) Monday, December 19, 2016
I loved that Black Mirror episode too.

#873) Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Months with Mike = A

#874) Wednesday, January 04, 2017
Do all kids find names that funny?

#875) Wednesday, January 04, 2017

#876) Friday, February 10, 2017 The magnetic tape is the piece now.

#877) Monday, February 20, 2017
I'd urge the reconsideration of White Fang (or Nathaniel).

#878) Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Gender is so 2010. We should guess what kind of AI will replace the job that ze would have done.

#879) Wednesday, March 08, 2017
What was it like to meet such a bad (pathetic) loser that was fired by ratings? Sad?

#880) Monday, April 03, 2017
I've heard such good things about that game. I really want to try it.

#881) Friday, April 14, 2017
Do you have a plan in place for the role of technology in Mike Jr.'s early life? Think it'll be weird to grow up as the first generation under full surveillance or will it be quiet adaptation in the way we were the first to grow up with Lunchables™?

#882) Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Nice responses. I'm pumped for the next question day so I can ask a follow-up.

#883) Friday, May 05, 2017
I can't get through the first episode of American Crime Story. The acting is so atrocious it's like John Travolta and David Schwimmer went to the Mike Catania School for Overacting. Reign it in, Ross.

#884) Friday, July 28, 2017
Georg Philipp Telemann of Poop.That'll be the headline of her VR dating profile in 40 years.

#885) Friday, August 04, 2017
Visible Chub. That's a good band name.

#886) Friday, September 15, 2017
I'm excited for her to have the neck strength to do a three-head version of 2010.

#887) Wednesday, November 15, 2017

#888) Monday, November 13, 2017
Your living room isn't as kidified as I thought it might be.

#889) Monday, December 11, 2017
I'm sure you have a good reason for not rhyming "town" with "out" in Poop Bike, but I'd be remiss to not offer "Ri- din' your bike 'til the poop does crown".

#890) Wednesday, January 31, 2018
You made a cute kid. For real-real.

#891) Monday, February 05, 2018

You can definitely trust me with your progeny.

#892) Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Oh, I am. But I appreciate the effort.

#893) Wednesday, February 21, 2018
If I remember correctly, and I probably don't, all of those MRSA stains were only visible in photographs. You introduced me to Google right around this time.

#894) Monday, March 05, 2018
I'd rage over that if I could see both the stopped car and the clear merge lane.

#895) Wednesday, March 14, 2018
I hate it say it, but you may be right about my true colors. Even #NeverCry babies like Maia seem to sour as soon as I hold them.

#896) Monday, April 02, 2018
We're in the wrong line of work. Why aren't we writing toy music? We could do like 100 scores a day.

#897) Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Hard to believe 2008 was ten years ago.

#898) Monday, April 30, 2018
You get over being sick fast.

#899) Monday, April 30, 2018

#900) Monday, May 07, 2018
Curse that Ancient Prophecy and its non-zero odds of fulfillment.

#901) Wednesday, May 16, 2018
I thought surges were just made up by Best Buy as an insurance-marketing device.

#902) Monday, May 21, 2018
Interested to read the review of John Mulaney. I find him insufferable 95% of the time and a bona fide genius 5% of the time.

#903) Friday, May 25, 2018

#904) Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Your Dad rules.

#905) Friday, June 01, 2018
I guess I'll give Johnny another chance after reading the review. Annie LOVES that Ali Wong special.

#906) Wednesday, June 06, 2018
We all look so wet from the summer humidity. I never got that game of catch either.

#907) Monday, June 18, 2018
The baby ones are crazy!

#908) Friday, July 06, 2018
I'm a 32 Man. Good job parents for making it a year!

#909) Saturday, March 01, 2003
He was notable enough to make Wikipedia

#910) Friday, July 20, 2018
I'm totally with you. SEO is the topic nearest and dearest to my heart, so I run against its dangers constantly. Even highly thoughtful, intelligent people tend to say things like, "just Google it" unaware that the results they see are profoundly susceptible to manipulation. It's confirmation bias on steroids; the more you research something, the more Google returns results that cater to an identifiable viewpoint over demonstrable fact. Further, users generally understand the bias in social media timelines. They know their crazy high school friend thinks OBAMA IS COMING FOR MY GUNS and takes a post with a heap of salt. When they do a cursory check of something that seems suspect on Google, though, they treat those first few results as definitively true when in fact they're easily shaped by those with an interest in the result and, when applicable, based on your search profile. Your point of The Internet today weaponizes a massive push towards homogeneity, where the "right" answer is the one most broadly promoted couldn't be more on target.

#911) Wednesday, July 25, 2018
That was a fun day.

#912) Friday, July 20, 2018
The danger of SEO is in the perceived neutrality of the search results. YMMV but if you search for something like are vaccines dangerous and are a neutral-stance searcher, you'll see six results that effectively say "no" and four that say "yes," suggesting the answer to that question is up for discussion when it's not. The consolidation of web entry points is even scarier--Google controls 90%+ of the search market. Since 2015, Yahoo also can return Google's results instead of its internal algo results, making Google's 90% on the low side. This is why I've replaced searching with a blood sacrifice before asking Chompy's ghost for guidance.

#913) Wednesday, August 01, 2018
Oh man, no URICOIN on blockchain?

#914) Monday, August 06, 2018
Have you used Python to do any IoT projects?

#915) Wednesday, August 15, 2018
It's amazing that the human body can turn those meals into a baby.

#916) Monday, August 20, 2018
Does your nephew's shirt say, "Corn Genius"?

#917) Monday, August 20, 2018
That's disappointing.

#918) Monday, September 10, 2018
Bonus points for doing the actual Gangam-Style dance while sabering.

#919) Monday, September 17, 2018
I've been saving the Woodward as a reward for the completion of more pressing things, so thanks for lowering my expectations.

#920) Monday, May 20, 2019
I wish I had weird mushrooms to eat.