Wednesday, August 01, 2018

New Edition Day

The URI! Zone is 22 years old this month. If it were human, it would now face the depressing dearth of notable birthday values between 21 and 30, and probably decide go back to grad school for a master's degree. By the numbers, the URI! Zone has had 4091 blog posts, 8537 comments, and over 171,944 unique visits in recorded modern history.

Like Old Faithful, this site continues to have a persistent eruption of mediocre to decent content on a semi-regular basis. The inexorable journey to future fame will continue in year 23, with regular posts on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Fan favourites like 12 of 12 will remain, and I'll make sure to post enough raw data about Maia's digestion to support any future science projects she does in elementary school.

Some of the more innovative features you can expect this year:

  • Introducing the URI! Zone mobile app, which uses microtransactions so you can buy a hat for your comments avatar (proceeds go towards Maia's trade school fund because air conditioning repair will be in even higher high demand twenty years from now).

  • Using convolutional neural networks and deep learning to figure out which types of posts are most likely to elicit discussion in the comments section, then never writing any of those posts again.

  • Converting the website header graphic into a Virtual Reality landscape so you can actually drive down the road into the URI! Zone.

  • Creating a companion web show documenting the life of our family in three minute video episodes (or is this too 2008?)

  • More exclamation points!

Thank you for your continued visits over the ages!!

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