Friday, September 09, 2005
Loudoun County loves to repave roads that don't really need it. Just last week they tore up a five hundred yard section of pavement that was in reasonably good condition so they could lay a new coating of asphalt over top of it. They should invest that money in hiring someone to make crank calls to the Herndon Police Department -- maybe that would get rid of the retarded speed trap on Wiehle Avenue that's been out every day this week. Herndon's been on their naughty short-list for a while anyhow, ever since they decided to make the new day laborer site right on the Loudoun/Herndon border. I smell civil war.At the request of some of my readers, I've been trying to keep my updates shorter -- usually between one and two screens full of text. I often forget that we didn't all go to Ivy-League schools like Virginia Tech, so I won't use as many gargantuan words either. The No Child Left Behind law is useless everywhere else so I may as well appropriate it for myself. I will still keep Fridays pretty lengthy because they are the funnest updates to write, and as we all know, taking the FUNNEST out of FRIDAY really messes with your Junior Jumble in a hurry.Kim has a link up on her page that allows you to donate money to the Humane Society in their animal-based rescue efforts, so have at it. Incidentally, I think Booty would be a great name for a Hurricane. I can see the headlines now, "Booty kicks Tallahassee's ass. FSU Football team at large. Looting prevalent. No one surprised." Maybe in 2006.In some fonts, Humane looks like Hurricane, but squishy and without the C. I bet this is a conspiracy of some kind. Oh that wily Bob Vanhorn.Whenever something goes wrong at work, from now on you should all blame Bob Vanhorn. I've never met him but we'll make him famous one way or another. "Who ate the staff meeting pizza?" "Oh, Bob Vanhorn, he's such a piggy."There's no better way to get publicity for your film than to release it unrated. The official reason for this film's rating is that seventeen-year-olds are not quite ready to see threesomes, but I think the bigger picture is that the world is not ready to see more of Kevin's bacon. Wasn't Wild Things enough?The actress who played Kevin Bacon's sidekick detective in Wild Things was also the original Mimi from the Broadway version of Rent. When I saw the movie, I half expected her to burst out into a chorus of "Everybody has AIDS!" but then I realized that that was from a different movie.The Lost DVD has movie previews for The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. It looks rather stupid -- a take-off of Lord of the Rings, complete with a battle scene where millions of computer-animated people charge across the battlefield at each other. When I was a kid, I had all the Wonderworks-produced versions of the Chronicles of Narina on tape, and they were great in their own low-budget-PBS kind of way. The settings rang true with the books although their version of Lucy looked and acted so snivelling that she made you want to throw a punch. I wonder how much they'll play up the strong religious undertones inherent in the stories in this new edition.Someone stabbed a baby in New York . This is why my two kids (a boy and a girl) will learn how to use semiautomatic weapons straight from the womb (the babies, not the weapons -- unless their mom is in a maximum security prison and smuggled them in to defend herself (the weapons, not the babies) but then again, hopefully whoever I marry will not be in prison -- I could have sworn that I deselected that option in my Match.com profile). Double parentheses -- they're not just for math majors anymore.I don't actually have a Match.com profile, but I probably have over eighteen user accounts scattered over Yahoo, Hotmail, Angelfire, and Geocities. I have never created an account on any online dating site. I window-shopped about a year ago though and there seems to be lots of crazy people within eight miles of Sterling, Virginia. It seems safer to stay home and read a book.Yes, I actually put "8" miles in the People Finder forms last year because I am peculiar and have less than 40,000 miles on my four-year-old car. As Anna once put it, "I'll know you're interested in someone when you're willing to pony up and leave your natural habitat to see them."Anna doesn't actually say "pony up" or "natural habitat" (at least, not since she dropped her ninth major which was Fish and Wildlife or something), but she did say that there's a restaurant with all-you-can-eat bacon in a bowl somewhere near Busch Gardens. I will have to investigate this further.Amber likes to climb into the shower when I'm done, so she can watch the water drip down the drain. She doesn't seem to care that she gets soaked while sitting in there. I have claw marks on my chest at the moment because yesterday she fell off the top of the couch and landed on me. Amber's balance kicks ass.I like imagery in lyrics, like "bridge across the stream of consciousness", "hourglass glued to a table" and "mountain sides put arms around the unsuspecting city". I'm listening to lyrics much more nowadays than I used to.Like everyone else this week, I caught a cold that made me under the weather and physically snotty for a few days. My immune system must be breaking down in my old age -- I probably got sick a grand total of seven times throughout college, even during the year I lived with a roommate who was intent on growing e.coli in his ever-expanding collection of half-empty soda cans. I think that year was offset by the following year where my roommate had a separate clean towel for every day of the week. Wiping things like your weenie on a towel after you shower does NOT make the towel dirty again (unless you are somehow showering incorrectly).This weekend will not be as action-packed as the last -- I'll be working part of the weekend to make up for Labor Day and my sick time. This weekend is also family-dinner-for-birthday weekend and plant-grass-seed weekend. I definitely plan on saving a little time for relaxing (perhaps a little poker or some bloating on the couch watching Lost). The illustration on your right is flawed, because I have no idea how the player is holding up the bottom card. I suspect the cards are stuck together because someone spilled their drink again.Have a good weekend! Moving objects with a beam of light Police officer catches himself Because tiger is supposed to taste like urine-soaked ass
Yesterday's search terms:
fred binkholder, resetting a improperly healed nose, training to stop humping by golden retriever, living aboard boat in fairfax county virginia
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