Review Day

There are no spoilers in these reviews.

200 Cigarettes (R):
A 1999 indie flick with a massive ensemble cast including Ben Affleck, Paul Rudd, Dave Chapelle, Kate Hudson, and more, telling various stories about the characters' attempts to get to a New Year's Eve party in 1981. Other than the fact that they all end up at the same party, the stories don't really overlap, and some are more interesting than others. The funniest part of the movie is actually the credits voiceover, where Dave Chapelle narrates the Polaroids from the party and calls Elvis Costello a necrophiliac. I wouldn't seek this movie out, but I didn't mind watching it. Courtney Love is weird-looking.

Final Grade: C

The Heartbreak Kid (R):
We did not have high expectations for this movie, but Ben Stiller can usually be pretty funny in any movie that doesn't involve him meeting some parents. This turned out to be a dud across the board, with long stretches of zero laughs. None of the characters in the movie have a moral center, so there's no one to root for, and none of them deserve a happy ending. This would be fine in a black comedy, but the movie continues to sell itself as a romantic comedy right up to the end. Skip it.

Final Grade: F

Smart People (R):
The parts of this movie were more enjoyable than their sum -- there were enjoyable scenes but they didn't add up to much in the end. This was a typical "improve the surly guy until he loves puppies" type of movie with shades of Regarding Henry (which, fun-factily, was written by J.J. Abrams). Ellen Page plays "Juno as a Republican" and Sarah Jessica Parker has a distractingly-shaped face.

Final Grade: B-

LOST, Season Five Finale:
Nothing unexpected happened in this finale, which is telling for an episode of LOST. In fact, nothing much happened at all. There was zero emotional resonance in either of the two ending scenarios (one in 1977 and one in 2007), and the pacing of the episode dragged ridiculously. Apparently finales without any Desmond suck.

Final Grade: D+