Monday, December 10, 2007

Fulfillment Day

All of you readers will have your chance to influence the course of my updates sometime soon, as if you were members of my board of directors (without the 401k). I'm planning on doing a week where you guys pick each day's topic, which could either be highly inventive or highly disasterous.

This is a quote from an entry I wrote on December 1, 2006. That was over a year ago -- an era where some of us were single or unmarried, didn't own cacti, and others of us had not yet ejected babies like little watermelon seeds of DNA across the linoleum floor of life. I even solicited ideas from the masses and then dropped it off the radar.

It's been so long since that happened that you probably forgot all about it. Or worse, you thought I'd forgotten about it. But, you see, I have a mind like a steel trap, and never forget a thing. I was actually just letting the idea simmer in the creative juices of my brain. Here then, is the culmination of a 12 month wait, since blog ideas, like cod, only improve with age.

Pay attention to that number 12 as well. You're going to be seeing a lot of it this week. As you can see, I am also the master of foreshadow, which is like the master of eyeshadow but less "Priscilla Drag Queen" and more "Nostradamus".

Do your blog in the style of a choose your own adventure novel - Beavis
You have entered the door to the north. You are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent stench of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls. What do you do?

    I cast a spell!
    I attack the darkness!
    I attack the Canadians!

Chef Brian's Cooking Guide For the Helpless - Jaood
Easy Bacon-Wrapped Scallops

10 half-dollar sized scallops
10 slices of uncooked bacon
small bag of baby spinach leaves
lemon juice
toothpicks
  • Rinse scallops and split in two. Rinse spinach leaves. Cut bacon in half.
  • Wrap each scallop chunk in one or two spinach leaves, then tightly wind a piece of bacon around both. Secure bacon with a toothpick.
  • Place wrapped scallops on a broiling tray. Broil in a toaster oven for 10 minutes (8 minutes in a full-sized oven).
  • Flip scallops and broil uncooked side for 10 more minutes. Remvoe from oven.
  • Spritz liberally with lemon juice and serve.
  • Audience Participation Day: Mad Libs - Rob
    I think it's safe to say that Mike (of Mike and Chompy) is the monopoly holder on Mad Libs style posts. Go to his site and make yourself a Christmas card .

    More Name-That-Tune Contests! - Kathy
    The first person to send an e-mail with both the name of the tune and the band will win a $5 gift certificate to Amazon.com. There are six 3-second clips in the MP3 in chronological order. The first and last clips are from the beginning and the end of the song.

      MP3 Excerpts

    Things Grown Children Can Do For Their Aging Parents That Will Make Them (i.e., the Parents) Happy - Mom

      1. Graduate from college in seven years
      2. Live at home until 34
      3. Marry a gangbanger or a prostitute
      4. Not have grandkids
      5. Pick the nursing home with the best coupons

    What If?: A Week Without Doobie - Doobie

    The picture on the left is me at work with Doobie in my life. The picture on the right is following Doobie's mysterious disappearance in Warez, Mexico. I am slightly sad.

    Top Ten Annoyances - Anna
    On October 18, 2005, I had a List Day with five annoyances (bikers in the road, books with recaps, Homestar Runner, comedians who laugh at themselves, and DVD menu screens. On May 24, 2007, I added another five (lane floaters, speakerphone, the AIM sound, loud commercials, and Brangelina). Consider this wish fulfilled!

    Microsoft's RoboSanta talks of oral sex
    World of Warcraft saves boy from moose
    Eco-friendly kangaroo farts could help global warming

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