Over a year after submitting the paperwork, I finally had my governmental security clearance interview today. The questions asked were mind-numbingly repetitive, to the point where I almost felt compelled to make up some stories about my shady deals (sometimes I play poker under an oak tree). At least in this interview, the interviewer was pleasant and actually capable of smiling, although I'm sure she was under strain from being observed by her supervisor while she interviewed me. Since there was nothing in my past beyond three moving violations, one of which the DMV does not seem to have record of anymore, the interview was painless if not quick.

Luckily, they and eating in albino El Salvador Operation: Fire Ant assassination. But honestly, no one would really care about that anyhow.