Friday, May 02, 2008

Euro-tic Adventure, Part X of X

List Day: Ten Travel Tips for European Adventures

  • Pack lighter than you could possibly imagine. Slice up guidebooks so you only have to bring the information on the cities you're visiting. Leave extra clothes at home and wash your underwear a lot. The more mobile you are, the more fun you'll have.

  • If you injure your leg on the second day of the trip, buy a cane so you don't look like a total retard hippety-hopping across the Continent.

  • Don't waste your money on maps at magazine stands -- the Tourism Office will be chock full of maps, lodging and restaurant info, and free tips.

  • Not all toilets are created the same. If you can't figure out how to flush, just randomly poke and prod at it until something happens.

  • You will want to take pictures of everything, but don't take so many that you forget to just enjoy the experience. Those 900 pictures of the view from the Eiffel Tower will get junked once you get home (see also, pictures of interesting cloud formations).

  • Picture menus are for the weak. It's far more exciting to point to some foreign words in the menu and have no idea what you might end up eating.

  • Any restaurant with the words "traditional" or "we speak English" in their front window will probably be full of tourists.

  • Be aware that Southern France has a maximum of tiny yappy dogs and a minimum of leash or cleanup laws. Watch your step. The same applies to horses around Buckingham Palace.

  • Paying a little extra so your hotel is very close to a Metro line is always worth it. Paying extra for a toilet or shower in the room is nice but not essential. Paying extra for TV is fun because you can learn that the French are obsessed with Mika and Leona Lewis.

  • Every self-respecting city should have at least one penis-shaped building.

    • The End

    If you would like high-resolution wallpaper-sized copies of any Europe images , right-click and save the little image from my website to your desktop, then mail it to me (so I know which one to use) along with your desktop resolution (i.e. 1024x768, 1600x1200, etc). Here's a sample:

    Tokyo's cat cafes offer serenity
    BASE jumpers land next to police
    Texas state bird attacks outside state office

    tagged as travel, lists | permalink | 1 comment
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