Friday, October 14, 2005

Friday Fragments

  • If any of you commenters without a cute icon for your comments wants one, please e-mail me with a picture or the URL of a picture. I will crop it and make it appear on your posts. Comments icons make it easier to read or ignore deep thoughts from your favourite fellow readers ("Oh, there's Kelley's picture five times in a row, I guess I can ignore the comments page today").

  • I recently read this article saying that IKEA would be more successful if they raised their prices a bit and made the service more high-class. This might be true for some stores, but I think IKEA is fine for what it is -- a big-box store with do-it-yourself furniture selection that needs no service. In fact, lower the prices and get rid of all the employees and I'd shop there even more.

  • Another recent story I read involved people who want warning labels on milk for the lactose intolerant. This is ridiculous. Drinking milk when you are lactose intolerant will make you gassy, not give you cancer. If you lack the common sense to realize that the milk is giving you the farts, then a warning label probably isn't going to do you much good.

  • I became lactose intolerant in college because I stopped drinking milk completely. The only available milk was in Dietrick, and I only ate the unhealthy selections at Dietrick Express, Owens, and Hokie Grill. Oh, and Shultz for the all-you-can-eat bacon. After a slow return to milk over a year or so, I now drink the occasional glass of milk with no problems, which leads me to conclusively conclude that those whiners are just a bunch of gassy pansies.

  • When I played Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, I named my character Gassy. I don't know why. It was funny because the name you pick gets put into the story text throughout the game. Gassy saved the world.

  • I really wish it would stop raining. It's been over a week since I could watch the sunrise at work. Someone take care of this for me, please.

  • Today is Dan's birthday, or Beavis if you know him as such. Dan was my roommate at Tech in the 1997-1998 year, and was also the retard that brought a pony keg on the trumpet bus to West Virginia when it got pulled over by a State Trooper. Happy Birthday!

  • Have you ever had a bus war? It's where the back of the bus and the front of the bus face off and try to touch the opposite end of the bus. Anything goes, including crawling through the overhead bins, under the seats, or bodily throwing people around. I'm surprised the bus drivers put up with the mayhem, since the back of the bus generally won, which meant that there were quite a few people jostling about beyond the white line.

  • I remember when Anna was a shiny baby-faced freshman on her first road trip and the weird trumpet player with the not so weird brother tried to keep her from winning by pulling her shorts off. This was a guy that would never look you in the eye and talk to you, but he would go crazy at games, cheering in his own little bubble of space (people didn't stand next to him because of the flailing arms and incoherent cheers which may have been in tongues). He generally stood behind the horn player that Doug made fun of for having no neck.

  • I had Lipton Sour Cream and Chives Noodles for dinner last night for the first time since living in Blacksburg. They taste great but they made my house smell like a hatful of ass. The worst is when you wake up in the morning and you can still smell the aroma of last night's dinner wafting through the air ducts.

  • How do you counter an old lady with a house full of 200 cats? With a man who has 300 birds, of course. It's like a ecological version of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

  • I've started studying for the next level of Java Certification, which costs a whopping $400. If I pass though, my company pays it in full. If there's anyone out there who would like to pretend to teach me something, we can write it off and split the tuition costs, and then use that cash to start a Christmas tree farm.

  • I'm looking forward to the holidays already. I don't really have any deep sentimental attachment to Thanksgiving and Christmas (I generally work up to and around those specific days), but I do like the decorating and the eating and all that jazz. Last year, I had XM set to one of their seven all-Christmas stations and piped it throughout my house nonstop. It's a good thing I live alone this year because I definitely plan on doing it again.

  • This weekend shouldn't be as busy as the last. I'm off work at noon today so I can go buy stuff I don't really need (like a new magnet board to fall off the wall and wake me up in the middle of the night, and a rug to catch litter in the bathroom when Amber plays "Litter Bomb"), then I plan to vacuum the house to give my carpets that neat freshly-lined look, followed by dinner at a reasonably swank locale with Kim and company. Tomorrow, I'm buying paint at Sears, returning a shirt at Old Navy, doing some Java studying and Finale work and joining an in-guild 15-man raid of Upper Blackrock Spire to kill General Drakkisath for my Wildheart Vest drinking beer with my hand in my pants while farting the Chinese alphabet. No plans yet for Sunday, but I'm thinking about a hike or a walk or something Fall-y like that.

  • Including the cost of the game and the monthly payments, I have now spent about $200 on World of Warcraft since I bought it last November. This seems like a lot, until I realize that I haven't bought any other games in that time, where I normally would have bought one a month or so. This is a savings of about $300 -- even more when you add up all the days I didn't rent a movie or go to the theater or go parasailing as a result of the game. Charles Schwab would call this a good low-risk investment. I now have eight real characters, but only five I play with any regularity.

  • Have a great weekend!

  • Yesterday's search terms:
    good puns for the royal fireworks, how much to tip bathroom attendant, scary godmother porno, eaten by the couch

    tagged as fragments | permalink | 10 comments
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