Friday, December 30, 2005
It's the end of an era!I hit every green light and got to work in seven minutes this morning. I love my commute. Some work friends moved from Del Ray in Alexandria to Herndon yesterday, so I'm sure they'll have so much commuting time freed up that they won't know what to do with themselves.If you missed the stealth announcement in December 26's comment section, Kelley Corbett and Kathy Hanna are all engaged and whatnot. They started dating in 2001 when Kelley (my roommate from college year #4) lived in Foxridge across the street from Anna (my roommate from college year #5) whose current roommate was Kathy's ex (and he, at the time, was dating the girl living upstairs from Kelley). Kelley and Kathy are currently living in Spanish Harlem in New York, where Kathy is pursuing some kind of law degree involving lots of money while Kelley is pursuing some kind of trumpet degree involving no money whatsoever. Congratulations!Here's another picture of Kelley from 1998 when he was a freshman and passed out on the Abbott bus on a Wind Symphony trip (not to be confused with the time he passed out in the bathroom during the Super Bowl while taking a poop). Both he and Shac, the guy next to him, had 40s clutched in their dirty mitts, but I edited them out so the pictures could appear on the trumpet web site, which was too closely affiliated with the marching band to show people consuming large quantities of alcohol. The number of 1998 pictures with hands in strange positions from cropped alcohol led people to joke that the trumpets had their own gang sign. There are more photos such as this one on my Photos page, some of them proving that I have no business being behind the viewfinder of a camera.Hopefully his best man will put together a slide show to run during the reception. There are many more stories and photos which his guests would no doubt find highly amusing.Speaking of Photos pages, I spent this week editing, sorting, and collating all one thousand nine hundred thirty-five (1935) pictures on the Photos page and redesigned the entire section so that you can see a whole album of pictures at one time. No more of this one-click-per-picture nonsense -- go check it out! Trips of nostalgia are always fun, especially when they involve Jason Chrisley in a wifebeater being chased around his own living room.Anna is bringing Kitty and Sydney over this afternoon for a four-day playdate while she and Ben escape to New York for New Year's. This means that I will once again be in charge of four cats with no helping hands. Hopefully it will be easier this time -- when I did it during their honeymoon, Sydney was a feral Pac-Man that ate everything, including my thumb, Amber, and a bottle of human vitamins. This time around, I plan on locking them in a room with a gerbil and just checking up on them in a few days time. I'll have to keep an eye on Kitty now that my carpets are newer and my computer parts are replaced. She's a sweet cat except for those wire-chewing/carpet-ripping/pee-pee habits, but I guess if you got rid of the damage-dealing parts, all you would have left is a massive belly with a tail. Then you might as well have a pot-bellied pig.Luckily someone else is caring for Baylee. When you pit four cats and an overactive puppy against one BU who has no one to tag-team with, it's called a Fatality. Despite his super powers.I have a magic shampoo bottle. It was about 1/4 full when I moved to Florida and four years later there's still 1/8 left. Since my hair does get washed pretty regularly and it's not a greasy, matted miasma, I can only conclude that the bottle will never empty. Given the choice of magic neverending bottles, I would rather have had something other than shampoo in it, but I guess you take what you can get.Which comes first, the cereal or the milk? And how could it possibly be questionable?In Virginia, there are plain white signs all over the interstate exit ramps with "[your city here]Dating.org" on them. I went to RestonDating.org out of curiousity, only to find that it's just a back door to Yahoo Personals with RESTON hardcoded as the city you're interested in. This is handy, because when you're looking for a date online, you can get to the smooching five seconds faster (as long as you're confident that the city is smooch-worthy). I tried a bunch of other cities, but apparently Sterling, Herndon, and Fairfax are not smooch-worthy. This is probably because it's common knowledge that those cities are filled with gigolos who could get a date without any help from the Internet. Or alternately, there are no women in those cities that drive men wild.Today's Fragments look bigger than normal, probably from the constipation of the picture-heavy segment that ran the past three days. Now that that's over, my words are spewing across the page like literary pimples.There's nothing major going on this weekend, other than using my massive brain to temporally shift the entire world ahead by one year. My Eve plans fall into the "Comfy: I'm staying in" category since they are not party-centric. This is totally fine by me, because even after twenty-
fivesix years, I still prefer the quiet evenings with a few folks over drunken raucous parties that end with letting all the animals out of the zoo. You can only do community service rounding up penguins a few times before it starts to get really really old.Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed the 2005 edition of the URI! Zone. I made a dream come true. And I am not a pervert. It may have been smarter to leave the flour-filled condoms at school. The Ultimate Showdown
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