Thursday, July 16, 2009

Weird Search Day

or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"

  • who sings i see you baby shakin dat ass
    Groove Armada sings this instant classic, and the Fatboy Slim remix ranks very high on the "Worst Songs in the World Not Sung By TATU" scale.

  • piece of food is stuck between my esophagus and windpipe uncomfortable
    Apparently, this unfortunate searcher was unlucky enough to get a piece of food directly between two tubes. The first step would be to have an operation to get his useless epiglottis realigned, since it obviously wasn't doing its job correctly. Next, he should either induce vomiting or poke the food down the esophagus with a couple of Q-tips taped together.

  • catchy title for a football party
    Generally speaking, any phrase that ends with the word "Bowl" shows that the host is at least minorly clever, and implies that football will be involved. However, if Warren Moon is attending your party, it probably won't be very "catchy" at all.

  • salma hayek can't act
    I don't think her acting ability is the problem, so much as the complete incomprehensibility of anything she says in English.

  • gay license plates rainbow kitty
    Luckily for you, the Virginia DMV already has a custom template you can select on the DMV website.


  • do they really poop and pee in alleys in france
    Yes, they do. In fact, they prefer pooping and peeing in major thoroughfares because traffic speeds up the decomposition process. There is actually a carnival game of sorts on the top tier of the Eiffel Tower where you pay two francs to poop off the side (securely fastened inside a safety seat, of course). The goal is to reach the Seine river, but the wise carnie knows that this can only be done on days with high easterly winds. Unfortunately, the top tier was closed when we visited last year, so we did not get to play Avion F?cal.

  • "don't use the bathroom" + diapers
    People on the Internet seem to have an unhealthy obsession with bodily functions. At least this search wasn't paired with the classic favourites of "lesson plans" or "recipes".

  • intercourse illustrated

  • more than two toothbrushes zone - police fine
    The number of these zones in the United States has greatly decreased over the last fifty years, mainly because the police are tired of filling out the inci-dental reports after cavity searches.

  • ihop snowman with bacon penis
    Anyone that considers themselves a true devotee of IHOP would know that the long strip of bacon running down the front of the breakfast snowman is a necktie, and not a penis!

  • karate man black belt in prison on a poster designed to motive cops

  • Police arrest naked Terminator
    Bride's boquet brings down plane
    Legged loot from armed robbery

    tagged as website, searches | permalink | 4 comments


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