Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Weird Search Day

or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"

  • applebees operational flow charts
    Applebee's is a shallow organizational structure, with the bulk of employees reporting directly to Mr. Applebee. In the event of the catastrophic loss of the CEO, the strongest employees will have a food fight to determine who will succeed him. My money is on the server armed with "con sizzle".

  • Reston Town Center drug dealer
    I highly doubt that someone in this line of work advertises their services on the Internet. Your best bet would be to visit the town center in person and sidle up to shady individuals near the fountain, asking them if they "have a cousin named Sven".

  • trajectory chart for crossbow bolts

    Instead of trusting that I actual remember anything from my 1998 Newtonian physics courses, you could just assume that the trajectory can be calculated without taking into account gravity or air resistance, since crossbows were invented and used in an era before either one was invented. In this case, the bolt will travel forever at constant speed, especially if Kevin Costner pretending to be an Englishman is the marksman and he is shooting at another crossbow bolt while the camera trails from behind.

  • what is one way of showing the earth on a flat piece of paper called?
    Drawing a map? Early Babylonian blasphemy? Photocopying an atlas?

  • bulk velveeta shells and cheese
    This is really the only way to purchase Shells and Cheese and not face an inadvertent shortage at some point. I generally have two five-packs of Shells and Cheese in my cupboard at any given time (except for the unfortunate months when Costco tried to promote "Annie's Mac and Cheese" as an alternative -- great cheddar, but it was not laced with the addictive additives one might find in Velveeta).

  • flaunting cleavage at the poker table

    This is actually one strategy I haven't tried at the poker table, although it might have more success than distracting with chocolate pie or playing bad pop music in the background. I'll be sure to try it out in the next poker game.

  • cups and balls craigslist
    If you are a budding magician and need secondhand supplies from Craigslist, your first step would be to go to Craigslist and do a search. I am not selling my cups or my balls.

  • is chad kroeger building a house in mexico?
    I'm not really sure what this obsession with Chad Kroeger is all about. I suppose that if you need someone to recite ninth-grade poetry in a voice that sounds like the forceful expulsion of the lungs, spleen, and duodenum, you might have a need for him. That talent does not necessarily make him a trustworthy carpenter.

  • picture of carp feces

  • are meal worms inside big macs?
    Big Macs are probably far more food than such an organism could eat in a single sitting, so if they have discovered such a bountiful food supply, I'm guessing they are happy meal worms.

  • bloodelf manawyrm dildo
    Please cancel your World of Warcraft subscription, back away from the computer, and get a girlfriend, or at least one night of companionship in a seedy motel.

  • shannon lucio fake naked pics

    This searcher did ask for fake pictures, after all. That definitely isn't John Basedow's body.

  • Cops caught playing Wii on the job
    Identical lottery draw was a coincidence
    Taser and handcuffs used on militant emu

    tagged as website, searches | permalink | 5 comments


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