Comments by Kelley

Total Comments: 216
First Post On: 08/12/2005 07:23 PM
Last Post On: 11/13/2012 06:54 PM
#1) Friday, August 12, 2005
Bill Maher says in his latest HBO special that in the early 20th century Americans ate on average 6 or 7 lbs of cheese per year. Now, they eat around thirty. I think I'm sitting right around fifty, not including Doritos, or any other fake cheese product. There's a poll for ya.

#2) Thursday, August 18, 2005
I think Hubcap has been underrepresented in your graph -- you might want to check your research.

#3) Tuesday, August 30, 2005
What's the deal with the FIVE PAGE article link??? That's the equivalent of my homework for a week! Were not all little Asian brainiacs, Brian. Could you maybe set a word limit on the articles you pick for the musicians in the audience that didn't double major in something that requires reading?

Other than that, as always, keep up the good work.

#4) Wednesday, August 31, 2005
5. Switch to a real mouthpiece and throw that Schilke paperweight away. I played a 17 in front of Mark Gould last summer and he ridiculed me until I bought a Bach 1-1/4C -- the mouthpiece of champions.

And your mental toughness is something to be admired -- I can't even get through the Ewazen when I'm listening to it, much less playing it. It's kind of like one of those 5 page article links that could just as easily be compiled into half a page. And then there's the Arutiunian. Which I'm sure you are annoying the neighbors with.

Trumpet rules!

6. Write more trumpet related posts. Trumpet trumpet trumpet.

#5) Thursday, September 01, 2005
I can't believe I finished reading that entry. That's five minutes of my life I'll never get back. You owe me, Uri!!

#6) Thursday, September 01, 2005
I'm up to a fifth grade reading level now. I would be farther along if I hadn't experienced all the social advancement at our alma mater.

#7) Tuesday, September 06, 2005
About time you posted something new! I have to know what Uri! thinks about everything!

And I'll take full responsiblity for introducing Doobie to the site. You can thank me later.

#8) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Well? Which was it? Right left or left right? I think it was right left, but I was very drunk and/or hung over most of the time. Ah, the ravages all that underage drinking has taken on my old mind...

And that game was far better than you give it credit for. I will admit that the Hokies did not execute on defence the way I wanted them to, but the offence got the job done against last years number one ranked defence in the country. I see that game, I look at our schedule and the name on our quarterback's jersey, and I start to see 1999 all over again with a better ending.

#9) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I own the rights to the Everclear story. Just check in with me to make sure you have all the facts straight before recording it for posterity.


#10) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Based on the way they played the other night, the only way FSU will get to the ACC championship game is by scalping tickets on ebay.

#11) Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Hey that's totally uncalled for. There was ABSOLUTELY no wreckless driving or drug dealing.

And I'm sure Drew Weatherford will turn out to be a gr8, gr8 quaterback.

For me to poop on.

#12) Friday, September 09, 2005
I've since started using towels for up to three showers before throwing it in the wash. This is due to the fact that I live on the fifth floor of a walk up and I have to walk a couple of blocks to the laundry. Laziness is great motivation to change deep-seeded personal grooming habits.

I still only use a wash cloth once, though.

#13) Friday, September 09, 2005
Doobie, living in a different state has made me forget at times how much I hate you. Thanks for the reminder.

I use paper towels to clean up your puke in my house. And I use more of them than the number of times I kick you when you're drunk on my floor after you've pissed me off.

I'll figure out a kick-to-the-stomach to paper towel ratio and send you a bill.

#14) Thursday, September 15, 2005
Happy belated birthday!

I'm very partial to the 1998 Uri!, but I guess that's because it brings back so many memories of following you to my spot in marching band.

#15) Friday, September 16, 2005
Happy Birthday Weekend! Party till you puke!

#16) Friday, September 16, 2005
Go Hokies!

#17) Monday, September 19, 2005
You know what's really scary -- the fact that so many people believe in ghosts. Why can't we all just catch on to the fact that when you're dead you just rot in the ground? Is that really so bad?

#18) Monday, September 19, 2005
Well, I guess we all rot in the ground until the dreaded DAWN OF THE DEAD when we all turn into zombies. And is that really so bad? Really?

#19) Tuesday, September 20, 2005
How on earth do you find the time to watch all this television? I guess that maybe you multi-task between video games and tv by playing the games on your computer?

Incidentally, if you didn't find time to watch the exciting three-hour Yanks game last night, rest assured that they won in impressive fashion. They're now just 1/2 game out in the AL East. Another game tonight, 7pm EST.

#20) Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Season One LOST spoiler:

It sucked.

Season two spoiler:

The sucking continues.

Season three:

They all die. Which really should have happened in Season One, episode 1/2.

But that chick from Broken Lizard's Club Dread would be pretty hot if she put on enough weight to look like a normal person.

#21) Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Hey, no fair on calling me out on missing class in my Sophomore year of college because I was playing video games. We all know that I would have skipped those classes anyway.

#22) Wednesday, September 21, 2005
You know what's good tv? The Yanks in first place as of last night. I love living two subway stops from the Stadium.

#23) Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Damnit Brian, stop taking gigs from those of us who practice 4 hours a day and are starving. I should have gotten that call.

(And by starving, I mean getting so little work in this city that I actually have to rely fully on my student loans and those of my lawyer-girlfriend.)

#24) Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Ah, I see -- doing it for the prestige. Well I'm staving for that, too.

#25) Wednesday, October 05, 2005
It's 6:55AM -- where's my morning post? What's up with the service here?

That's it. My day is going down the pooper from here.

#26) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
It's great to know that I could probably drink a gallon of scotch a week and still get government clearance -- I'm happy as long as they keep those smelly pot-smoking hippies out of work. They are the scourge of our society. I wish more of my tax dollars were spent on the drug war. It really seems to be working.

#27) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
And the movement of October posts out of the "Most Recent" section so early in the month is very disturbing to me as well. How freaking neat must you be?

#28) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Get it? Freaking neat? Neat freak! Freaking brilliant is what that was.

#29) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
How many pictures of me in a row will there be today?

#30) Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Five. Love it.

#31) Thursday, October 13, 2005
Two things you don't know about me (but not necessarily things that others don't already know):

1 - I'm making my solo trumpet debut in the far east at the end of this month. I'm playing 4 recitals in Japan from Oct 26 to Nov 1, with a possible stop to play as an extra in the Tokyo Symphony.

2 - I recently started to religiously keep a journal. I keep it by hand though, because I would never presume to be able to put a blog together that would compete with the Uri! Zone. There's also something very organic about writing things like that out by hand.

#32) Tuesday, October 18, 2005
WTF is Homestar Runner? Wait -- don't tell me. I wasn't a dork in college and haven't turned into one since, so I don't think I even need to know.

#33) Thursday, October 20, 2005
I don't remember you being this into pop culture (especially poorly performed and well engineered music) when we lived together. How have you sunk so far into the depths of low art? Was it Florida?

What's more, how do you keep up with all this stuff? I'd have no idea what the kids were doing these days if they weren't all hanging out on the stoop in front of my building.

#34) Monday, October 24, 2005
Thanks for calling me out on the marriage thing. It could happen, but I'm happy living in sin at the moment. If it does happen though, you'll get the call to play the wedding march off of a part that changes transposition from D to Eb every half measure. Get ready!

Congratulations, Nikki!

#35) Monday, October 24, 2005
Marriage. Sorry.

#36) Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I just got back from the Orient, and people are dropping like flies over there. On the trains, in the plane on the way over, on the way back. Barfing up lungs and livers -- it was horrific. But they still find a way to be very tidy and make great food. And they all wear surgical masks when they're sick -- which is the only reason I made it out of there alive.

#37) Wednesday, November 02, 2005

#38) Wednesday, November 02, 2005

#39) Thursday, November 03, 2005
Maybe the students are taking the example of the musicians at Radio City. If they start asking for scabs down there, look for me to be crossing the picket line on your evening news.

#40) Friday, November 04, 2005
Firstly: I'm sure that the email you quote from me is in response to one of the many smart-assed messages you sent me during that period -- and since, I might add. Maybe it wished me a happy birthday or congratulated me for a performance. Then maybe it subtly hinted that I have a drinking problem and won't live much past my next birthday, or that my performance would have been better if I had hit more of the notes. Who knows? That email from you disappeared two hard drives ago. But I'm sure my use of profanity was warranted. Bitch.

Secondly: Like how on top of your postings I am?

Thirdly: H is b-flat in German.

#41) Monday, November 07, 2005
In hindsight, I would have much rather been watching your show than the Tech game.

#42) Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Even after reading the last paragraph, it took me a few seconds to realize what that picture was. At first glance it looks like a picure from the Hubble before they fixed it.

#43) Friday, November 11, 2005
Happy Veterans Day!

So I checked the records, and I am touched that you have wished me a happy birthday for so many years in a row on your website which I know you know I never looked at.

As far as this years comments go, I can tell you from personal experience that puberty is not all it's cracked up to be. I understand from my recent travel to the Orient that asians reach puberty at around 35. So when it happens to you, Brian, be ready for the hippie gray hair and pot belly to happen to you. You won't know till it's too late. Maybe you'll be a little less judgemental then.

After looking back at the November 11 posts of previous years, let me say that I intend to be a Uri! Domain reader until the site ends or until my final birthday. At least on birthdays. Thanks for caring, buddy.

#44) Friday, November 11, 2005
And for the record, I'm 25.

#45) Friday, November 18, 2005
Yes, an edit button would be most useful.

You could also put a button at the end of your posts that would allow me to flag any misspellings you made. It would also be good for flagging other mistakes you make, such as stupid opinions for which I need to straighten you out (see reviews of crappy Fox programming or new pop music). If you'd like, you could make that button available to me only, since I don't care what other people think.

Might I also add:

GO HOKIES! Kicking ass and taking names in Charlottesville where FSU could not. God, how I wish we could play (i.e. MANHANDLE) FSU in that ACC championship game. What an ugly beating that would be.

#46) Friday, November 18, 2005
Thank you Georgia Tech! I guess we do get to MANHANDLE FSU afterall.

#47) Monday, November 28, 2005
I hope all you FSU assclowns are looking forward to another loss coming your way soon, courtesy of Little Vick and the Fighting Gobblers. Man, your team really phoned in the second half of the season.

#48) Monday, November 28, 2005
Since you lost to so many teams, I think the more clear way of stating it would be that at MOST you didn't lose to Miami. And yes, you did lose to Florida, and they stunk it up this season.

#49) Tuesday, November 29, 2005
After finding out what you want for Xmas and that you take baths, I don't know that you need to live with a girl ever again. You've been trained, and you will make some lucky guy a beautiful wife someday.

With that said, why don't you just register at Amazon and make it even easier on everyone?

#50) Friday, December 02, 2005
I really, REALLY hate FSU. More than Miami, more than UVA. And I really hate people who go there. A lot. This means you, alums.

#51) Friday, December 09, 2005
Give me some credit. It really only took me around 71 months to get out of Blacksburg, though the town still beckons me from afar. Perhaps a(nother) graduate degree soon? I think not. But a whirlwind tour of all my favorite bars and resteraunts is definitely in order. Mike's and Rivermill, here I come!

#52) Monday, December 12, 2005
I saw Batman Begins on the plane ride back from Tokyo. It was sweet each of the three times I watched it. Maybe it even got better each time. I can't say for certain because I was drinking all the free scotch the stewardess would give me until that bitch cut me off.

Both the movie and free drinks on international flights are highly recommended. Equally.

#53) Friday, December 16, 2005
Everyone get up bright and early tomorrow morning and turn your tvs to NBC between 8 and 9 AM. I'll be playing trumpet on the Today Show with a catholic children's choir. It's lame, but I'm on tv and you're not.

#54) Friday, December 16, 2005
Neckbone! So I got recorded that morning for a playback on Xmas. Check NBC between 9 and 10 EST on the 25th for the best trumpeting you've ever heard on December 25th between 9 and 10 AM on NBC. I know you don't have anything else to do.

#55) Monday, December 19, 2005
A) I bought those Gator Bowl tickets. Maybe Pip got credit because he lived with me. The way I see it, you owe me money. With interest. My collection agency breaks thumbs.

B) Where is your souvenir ticket to the 1998 Music City Bowl (ie - the best bowl Virginia Tech went to while I was in the band)? I assume that ticket isn't mentioned in today's entry because it is hanging in a frame over your mantle.

C) I feel that any lettered list needs to at least get to C) to validate its necessity, so here you go.

#56) Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I think I'll stay in school to avoid paying off my student loans until you become a rock god. You think you could make that happen before I finish a doctorate?

#57) Tuesday, December 20, 2005
PS - For those of you who don't live in New York City, know this: Transit strikes are a bitch.

I suggest tomorrow's entry have something to do with unions of unskilled, uneducated laborers and their inability to understand the economics that determine The Man's ability to pay them far more money than they deserve.

#58) Thursday, December 22, 2005
Are you sure that Georgia Tech game pic isn't actually the one from the BC game that year in Sports Illustrated? As I recall, the Georgia Tech game was at night. Then again, my memories are very fuzzy from all the underage drinking.

#59) Monday, December 26, 2005
I got a fiance for Christmas. I financed. Expect an invitation, if only for the sweet gift we know you'll provide.

#60) Wednesday, December 28, 2005
That reminds me -- I need to go poop in Doobie's sink. I owe him that.

#61) Friday, December 30, 2005
I feel honored to have had so many of this Friday's fragments associated with me or the stupid shit I have done in my life. Thanks for the props!

And the wedding will definitely be in Virginia -- probably in the fall if we can't get it together before I leave for some random summer orchestra. Expect no slide shows.

Happy New Year!

#62) Friday, January 06, 2006
I love that South Park Episode. I guess the Mormons, Scientologists, AA members, Jews, and everyone else the show has made fun of don't have enough pull to make their bitching heard by the network. Let's hear it for the religious right -- way to advance censorship!


#63) Friday, January 06, 2006
And who the hell is our backup quarterback? I fear next season.

#64) Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Your Florida readers aren't the only ones who hate when you talk about musicals.

#65) Thursday, January 19, 2006
Since Wayne's World.

#66) Thursday, January 19, 2006
HAH! Double your pleasure bitches!

#67) Monday, January 23, 2006
Where did you get that picture of me? I thought I had destroyed all the evidence of my long pink hair phase. Damn those paparazzi!

#68) Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I remember seeing you make out with that girl at Chrisley's house -- it was on the couch and it looked like you two were climbing each other. It was so cute! That was when we knew our little BU was growing up.

And I blame my poor class attendance habits at Tech on rooming with you. Before that, I went to every class and practiced 4 hours a day. Now I've rounded it out to going to no class and practicing 5 hours a day.

Incidentally, the Kelley Corbett Masters Recital is on February 5 at 1:30 PM in case any of you hooligans want to make a trip north to hear the greatest music making of our time.

[Mr. Ego]

#69) Friday, January 27, 2006
Brian, go to the doctor. Unless you like to be sick just so you have something else to talk about on your website.

#70) Friday, January 27, 2006
Nevermind. I obviously didn't read yesterday's entry.

#71) Friday, January 27, 2006
Fixing errors like that so that people don't have to waste their time reading them is what the edit button should be for. What exactly does that button do, anyway?

#72) Friday, January 27, 2006
4 pictures of Kelley, hah hah hah!

#73) Monday, February 06, 2006
For somebody who gives positive reviews to so much crappy music, you are one tough movie critic.

#74) Monday, February 06, 2006
If the only reason you don't judge music as harshly as movies is because music is shorter, you should still be composing.


#75) Thursday, February 09, 2006
I don't know how you could smell the marker over the stench of your dorkiness.

#76) Friday, February 10, 2006
Kathy and I live in a 650 square foot one bedroom. Now I don't feel like our place is that small.

And I second Beavis. Comments here are far easier than forming my own blog. I just assume that my blog is an occasional rider attached to the Uri! blog. And that it's really what people are looking to read.

You can thank me later for keeping people coming back day after day, Brian.

#77) Thursday, February 09, 2006
I only talk trumpet gear at trumpet parties, and since I haven't been to tone of those in 6 years, I assume that means that I don't talk mouthpieces at parties.

Nowadays, I have given up parties and stick to very heavy drinking at home, and that makes me VERY COOL.

#78) Thursday, February 09, 2006
TO ONE. Where the hell is that fix it button? Get off your ass and make it happen Uri!!

#79) Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I appreciate the fact the site is more of the color of blood than of roses. It makes me think about going on a killing spree, as does the fact that on every other day of the year in New York a dozen roses costs $8, but today it costs $15. Needless to say, my valentine will have to wait till tomorrow to get her roses. Just like she had to wait till the day after Christmas to get her presents.

#80) Wednesday, February 15, 2006
After eating all that bacon and processed food, I can't imagine what your insides look like. I get a feeling that some lucky doctor is going to make a fortune off of cleaning your colon in about 10 years.

That same doctor might make another fortune for making me history's youngest liver transplant patient around the same time he's cleaning your colon.

#81) Wednesday, February 15, 2006
PS - I totally refuse to take part in your current crappy poll involving current crappy television characters, so hurry up and update that thing.

#82) Monday, February 20, 2006
How much does a two piece at Popeyes cost, anyway?

#83) Monday, February 20, 2006
PS - Phil, good of you to join the party.

#84) Wednesday, February 22, 2006
I don't think two 22 Tuesdays cancelled out forty Fridays. As I recall, they were both going on when I was in the band. Not that I got to participate in either of them, because I was mistakenly placed in the Christian rank. Yay Jesus!

#85) Monday, February 20, 2006
Damn, you are rich! I'll let you treat me to Popeyes the next time I see you.

#86) Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Yes, Marcy's rank was the life of the party. If said party is held in the basement of a church.

And I remember the day of that rank war well. I was not there, but I remember you guys showing up to rehearsal DRUNK. I was so jealous. Being a trumpet dork, I sat in a practice room before all MV rehearsals.

#87) Friday, February 24, 2006
You should stop paying for whores electronically -- the government is watching you. Dollar bills all the way!

And Strangers with Candy did indeed suck, much like much of Comedy Central's original programing. Any Sedaris is funny as hell though.

#88) Wednesday, March 01, 2006
You wrote Corpse briDge again, you dyslexic asian. Mbaye you shulod get lokoed at.

#89) Wednesday, March 01, 2006
BridGe, dammit!

#90) Thursday, March 02, 2006
Shouldn't Heath Ledger be up for Best Actress, too?

#91) Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Dude Construx were awesome. But I was so young when I played with them that today is the first time I actually knew what they were called. Thanks for the blast from the past!

#92) Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Where the hell are Macaulay Caulkin and Eminem? Those are the only people I ever get told I look like.

Sweet update.

#93) Wednesday, March 15, 2006
And I must add that I am proud to be the only guy here that apparently doesn't look like a chick. Even if I do look like Tony Danza.

#94) Tuesday, March 21, 2006
You've only got $11 for this thing so far? UNTHINKABLE!

#95) Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Is this post still going? There's absolutely no reason for a post to be longer than two hours unless it's a serious drama of Oscar-proportions. If the story doesn't lend itself to the shorter frame of a post, either rewrite the story, split it into parts, or realize, "Hey, maybe this shouldn't be a post!".

Harry Potter SUCKS.

#96) Thursday, March 23, 2006
That was Roanoke that made the rule about no more than 3 women in the house -- Roanoke College chicks still have problems with that one.

Great update.

#97) Monday, March 27, 2006
I can't believe I'm in the same age group as you people. Don't you understand the superiority of the PSP in the world of hand held games? Why keep wasting your money on all this Nintendo garbage when you could just as easily pull out your old Super Nintendo, or buy one for $5 on eBay?

I share none of your nostalgia when it comes to the games of my youth. I want to kill people in the newest, most graphic method available on the market at all times.

#98) Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I did what everyone who is living off student loans would do to procure an engagement ring: went into more debt. But not $20,000 dollars worth. My credit is good, but not that good.

PS - Philip, what the hell is your phone number? I tried to call you the other day and got some chick that wasn't your wife and had no idea who you are.

#99) Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Recalcitrant? Did I miss the class where they taught that word in college? I know you didn't learn it at FSU. People down there are lucky if they still have their teeth by college age, much less a strong vocabulary.

#100) Thursday, March 30, 2006
Know your profanity. DID YOU KNOW:

The words cunt and twat have been in use in the english language for as long as the language has existed. And they have meant precisely what they mean today for all that time.

This and many other lingual tidbits are in a great book I recently read -- The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way, by Bill Bryson.

#101) Monday, April 10, 2006
Sorry Anna, sounds like you're messy. Your argument is like saying that a person who's house has trash cluttered everywhere is not a slob -- they just spend a few hours there every day and have a dog. But hey, whatever makes you feel better about being a slob. No big deal.

#102) Wednesday, April 12, 2006
That sounds like something I would say, although I can't believe you remember that particular line. I assume you remember because it was entered into the ancient Urizone.

And Pip, I understood from the beginning why you quit the trumpet. Had I been as bad at it as you were, I would have quit too. I just like giving you shit.

#103) Monday, April 24, 2006
Great pictures Brian!

#104) Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Didn't Harry's dad threaten to sue the band the year after we had all the horn refugees? I only remember that because, regretably, he was in the band when I was there.

I suppose if I had been in the band for a hundred years that it would all run together for me too.


#105) Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I listen to this music and weep for your youth. My parents subjected me to some terrible music on our long trips with a camper to, say, scenic Missouri, but at least they threw in some Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson once in a while.

#106) Thursday, May 04, 2006
I got eight right off the bat, but I'm still thinking about two of them. That last one is a bitch.

#107) Monday, May 08, 2006
I would totally agree with Shachter if I didn't know from my previous experience with this site that she doesn't sweat jocks in general. Stop teasing, Ausie.

#108) Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I second Doobie's motion.

#109) Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Black Snake!

#110) Monday, May 15, 2006
You get paid for this job of yours? It sounds almost as slack as my life -- which is now completely free of The Man's control now that I'm done with school and have no prospects of employment. Hook me up with your sweet gig Brian!

#111) Thursday, May 18, 2006
There is no group of people in which Nintendo players shouldn't be looked at as losers. You are the red-headed step child of the video game world, and as such should be beaten mightily.

#112) Thursday, May 18, 2006
You too, Pip.

#113) Monday, May 22, 2006
Just tell the people the truth, Brian: that you lost count sometime during the drugged up haze that was your college career.

Don't be ashamed of your younger days just because your mother reads this site. We all know you've cleaned up a bit since then.

#114) Thursday, May 25, 2006
I object to your poll -- of all those activities, my high school only had band. And those chicks were butt trifling.

#115) Friday, May 26, 2006
We know know? About to be eating by a dingo?

Life too busy for a grammar check? I'm willing to offer my proof-reading services to your site at the low low price of $100 per post. Take advantage!

#116) Friday, June 23, 2006
Frank Sinatra: "I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they'll feel all day."

#117) Monday, June 26, 2006
At this point in my career, I wouldn't necessarily turn down a $15 a day job playing trumpet.

#118) Monday, July 10, 2006
I like to think I did a pretty good job keeping an eye on things in Blacksburg in your absence. I only stayed that extra time out of a sense of responsiblity. For the children. They are our future you know.

#119) Wednesday, July 12, 2006
So many pictures from Jason Chrisley's house, and no Jason Chrisley. We've got to find that guy.

#120) Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Nice Back to the Future II reference by the way.

#121) Wednesday, July 12, 2006
PIP -- Doobie is correct. You are not going to be happy.

Kathy and I are flying to Hawaii on August 4th and are getting married there.

Maybe you can trade in those tickets for one's to Hawaii and be the only people in attendance. Obviously, anyone who's on Kawai that week who's reading this is welcome to attend as well.

Or -- you can enjoy scening Virginia and pretend it's a tropical island.

#122) Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Check that -- I get back from Japan on August 4th. We're goingo to Hawaii on August 5th.

#123) Thursday, July 13, 2006
Suggestion #1:

A spell check or revision button (that works) for the comments section.

#124) Tuesday, August 08, 2006
What's with everyone getting knocked up? I thought Kathy and I were finally joining the crowd when we got married (last night), and then I get a call from Pip that he's having a kid. Then I find out that Anna's having one too. You people need to stop pushing things along so quickly --Enjoy your youth! I'm going to end up with a pregnant wife if she keeps hearing about all this. And none of us want to see ME with a kid.

#125) Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I cheat at Monopoly.

#126) Tuesday, September 05, 2006
And now for something completely different...

If anyone wants to view photos from Me and Kathys wedding in Hawaii, just go to this website.

The password is Anini beach


#127) Tuesday, September 05, 2006
There I was, trying to share an intimate moment of my life with close friends, and I got made fun of. I never would have suspected that from you people. Really.

#128) Tuesday, September 05, 2006
We drove around the north shore searching for the right one -- let me tell you, testing every beach by sitting on it all afternoon was really taxing.

#129) Friday, September 15, 2006
Happy Birthday. Even though this is actually written early Saturday morning, it still counts as on-time since you should still be up right now with those hookers I sent you. I hope you liked them!

#130) Monday, September 18, 2006
I think you should write a catchy trumpet sonata or concerto a la Eric Ewazen. Except good.

Do you have any idea how many copies of that piece he's sold? You'd make a ton of money off crappy trumpeters if you could write a nice playable piece. Call me pragmatic.

Obviously, I'll be happy to premier and record the difinitive version of your new piece for a share of the royalties.

#131) Monday, September 18, 2006
I won't do that -- how about I wear a Maynard T-shirt?

#132) Monday, September 25, 2006
Those are come miserable looking children. Is it that hard for punk kids to smile at a camera?
Damn punk kids with their rock and roll.

On the other hand, I guess I might find it hard to smile if my parents had dressed me like that.

#133) Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Nice Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels reference.

#134) Monday, November 13, 2006
I think Roseanne goes by Audra now. But since I haven't seen her in 5 years, she may have changed back.

#135) Friday, November 10, 2006
I turned twenty-six. Mark it down -- I'm not as old as you, old guy.

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

#136) Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Yeah, but who wants to make lots of money after they've landed that sweet job at Gold's Gym?

#137) Monday, December 11, 2006
I'm in New York with Otis -- celebrating his birthday the only way we know how. With gallons of beer. I'll pass along the good wishes.

#138) Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I love your dramatization of Symphonic Lit notes -- dead on. Is Kermit smoking a joint there?

#139) Wednesday, December 20, 2006
How could I not have been in at least one of the greatest pictures of all time? I'm in every one on my list.

#140) Wednesday, January 10, 2007
It seems to me that you would take the idea that was crapped on the LEAST... I suppose only a dog owner would be that sensible.

I vote for more of the same, sans reviews of terrible pop music and tv shows. LOST SUCKS.

And Shac -- crushed Legos? Brilliant!

#141) Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Doobie -- is your downward spiral (which can only end up in you becoming a full fledged Mexican) in direct contrast to all of our upward ones? I'm sure this was all part of your master plan of self sacrifice.

#142) Friday, January 26, 2007

#143) Thursday, February 08, 2007
LOST SUCKS -- even when you make it up.

#144) Monday, February 19, 2007

#145) Friday, March 09, 2007
Larry Newdorf is no Dan Deerdorf. Guaranteed.

#146) Monday, March 12, 2007
I swear to God, that was the last time I ever showed up late to anything in my life. And still I hear Doobie yelling at me.

#147) Monday, March 12, 2007
And Doobie, what in the hell are you doing up this early in the morning? Was there a meth party in Tuscon last night?

#148) Monday, March 12, 2007
I showed up -- just like 45 minutes late. And VERY hung over. Thanks Shac, for having a birthday the day before.

#149) Monday, March 12, 2007
Can you send me a link of that full recording of Doobie cursing about me a that rehearsal? I can't find it anywhere.

#150) Tuesday, March 20, 2007
For the record, it was not 12 Pabst, it was like 8. But all in the first half of the game. And I weighed like 40 pounds less then, so it is understandable how something like that could happen.

Big props to the Section leaders for enabling my alcohol abuse at such a young age by the way.

#151) Friday, March 23, 2007
Witness to Doobie's greatness at Tony Hawk 4.

#152) Monday, March 26, 2007
That March 26, 1999 picture is from 2000. I know this because I stood next to you in marching band in 98-99, and the glasses and Members Only jacket (and crew cut) were still in full effect. Also because I lived with you the year your appearance changed so much for the better. I take full responsibility for that, by the way. You can thank me anytime.

#153) Thursday, April 19, 2007
I think Booty was right to knock that FSU hat out your window and pee on it. I would have done that exact same thing.

#154) Monday, April 30, 2007
I'm still working on that high G...

#155) Friday, June 01, 2007



#156) Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Do you have guilt and fear when you loiter in all adult bookstores? Or just in Southeast DC? And if it's just Southeast DC, whats the cross section you tried out? I mean, did you loiter in all of them, or are you generalizing? Could you maybe put a graph somewhere on your site of the most and least comfortable adult bookstores in Southeast DC in which to loiter?

#157) Wednesday, September 19, 2007
PS - Happy Birthday!

#158) Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I concur with Doobie. Brian, did you make all these people up?

#159) Friday, November 02, 2007
Brian, you're officially invited to come up any time to our new place in Brooklyn where you can have the BEST BAGEL YOUVE EVER HAD, just down the street. And the list of cream cheeses is just too long to list. I'd say the bacon and cheddar is my favorite at the moment.

#160) Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Seconded on all counts. Especially the part about all things Doobie being hated by me.

Delta Mu -- SHAC!

#161) Monday, August 04, 2008
You asked for it. I'm back, Bitchums!!!!

#162) Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Alias is a lot weak, now and forever. Substitute "Lost" in for "Alias" in the previous sentence for another truism. And I give dap to Blizzard games. Why you gotta be hatin on Halo? I'm sure your XBox Live experience isn't all that great from your Wii, but that's no excuse. Where's the love? Perhaps you should take a trip north to NYC and check out Halo 3 on my bad ass 51" flat screen. Open invite!

#163) Tuesday, August 05, 2008
We live in Brooklyn now. And they love Asians in Harlem as much as they like them anywhere... How much that is, I'll leave to you.

#164) Wednesday, August 06, 2008
I've heard Guinea Pigs are tasty. With the treatment yours received, I bet they tasted like veal. Maybe you should ask your dad about that...

#165) Thursday, August 07, 2008
I'm loveing teh sepll chekcer. Thatks for invitign me backh!

#166) Thursday, August 07, 2008
DAMN YOU COMPUTER NERDS!!! Should've made the switch a long time ago it seems...

#167) Thursday, August 07, 2008
You people are voting Kathy Griffin to live? REALLY??? I'd pay to watch her torn apart by wild dogs. I really don't understand how I can be in the minority on this one.

#168) Friday, August 08, 2008
No plans for the weekend? Might I suggest going on a weekend-long bender in celebration of two full years of my wife not leaving me? (Also known as the two year anniversary of Kathy and I not forcing friends and relatives to leave Virginia for a wedding -- you can thank me anytime.)

#169) Monday, August 11, 2008
Into which category does the 30 year old Asian man riding a kid's bike fit? I assume you're been riding the same Huffy since you were 10, and that you're still waiting to grow into it...

#170) Friday, August 22, 2008
Phil, your daughter is adorable. Her pictures are on our fridge, even though we've never met. I say that even though I don't like children. And Dave v. J-Vog is one of my fondest memories of my time living with Brian Uri!! Pete Schatz getting called out was freaking sweet to say the least.

#171) Monday, August 25, 2008
Q: Why did Jesus turn water into wine? A: BECAUSE HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC

#172) Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Oh, how I love to get those frequent calls for gigs with alto flutes and rhythm section -- it's the big thing in New York! At least I know you're not doing it for the money, buddy...

#173) Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Just for the record: You might be insane. I sub on Broadway and I don't know anything about the music you listen to.

#174) Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Really -- INSANE. BTW, where the hell is the cut from the Mary Poppins on Broadway soundtrack? I would have nailed that one.

#175) Tuesday, September 16, 2008
And just in case: BAND music should not count as CLASSICAL music.

#176) Monday, September 15, 2008
Happy Belated Birthday, BU! May you have many more 29ths before you can't actually pass for 29.

#177) Monday, October 06, 2008
Holy crap. I leave town for a few weeks and this is what I come back to. Way to go kids! Rebecca, I hope to meet you someday soon... I've read great things about you. Although I STRONGLY urge you both to consider having your wedding by yourselves on a nice beach in Kauai, I expect a Blue Ribbon Brass reunion will be in order should you hold a traditional ceremony.* *Fee to be paid in adult beverages after, or possibly before, said ceremony.

#178) Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Classic. It's like you've been at every trumpet competition ever.

#179) Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I would have posted a comment about this earlier but I was playing Warcraft 2. It's still awesome!

#180) Thursday, October 23, 2008
I remember sitting in the calc lab working on MacGamut next to people who complained about it A LOT. I always thought it was kind of fun...

#181) Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Should I be reading more into a post on my birthday about pitch correction?

#182) Friday, November 21, 2008
I can empathize with your grandfather.Changing my name has been on my to-do list for quite some time.

#183) Monday, January 05, 2009
Can't express my disappointment that nothing in your first post of the year had to do with Tech getting the huge win in the Orange Bowl. First BCS win since you enrolled there!

#184) Friday, February 13, 2009
Phillip, I'll buy your trumpet. Brian, you too. Is that a Jason Chrisley appearance? Fantastic.

#185) Thursday, March 26, 2009
So the Blue Ribbon Brass idea has been officially rejected? Your loss, kids. I'll go ahead and shred the contract.

#186) Wednesday, October 14, 2009

#187) Thursday, October 15, 2009
That's where Kathy and I got married...

#188) Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thanks for the birthday props. Let's not forget that it's also Doobie's wedding anniversary. That holiday thieving bastard. He could have just as easily taken Lincoln's birthday on the 18th, but no... PS - Tucson is a dump. Don't ever go there, especially not on your birthday.

#189) Friday, January 08, 2010
I love that picture. Big props to Skippy for distributing 40s of Icehouse to 18-year-olds at 7am. I've got to remember to pay that forward.

#190) Monday, February 08, 2010
Seriously, you didn't like The Big Lebowski? We've come to the heart of the reason we no longer live together, Brian. Watch it a hundred more times. You'll find it applies to every aspect of your life.

#191) Thursday, February 11, 2010
Jesus. I see now. You were born into this. You think audiences 30 years from now will be interested in that piece de crap District 9? No. But they will still love The Big Lebowski. WATCH IT AGAIN!!!! AND LOVE IT!!!!

#192) Thursday, February 11, 2010
PS I'm quickly approaching comment number 200!!!!! I WANT BALLOONS!!!!!

#193) Thursday, February 11, 2010
OR AT LEAST CONFETTI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 193!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#194) Thursday, February 11, 2010
AND A NEW AVATAR!!!!!!!!!!!

#195) Wednesday, June 02, 2010
You're welcome for the bump in traffic.

#196) Wednesday, June 02, 2010
PS can Kathy and I live in your basement?

#197) Thursday, June 10, 2010
Too much emphasis on making new spawn in your life if you ask me, Pip.

#198) Thursday, June 10, 2010
PS my new avatar is garbage.

#199) Friday, June 18, 2010
You ought to be celebrating a Kelley-free basement. Whether it's before we find a place or after Kathy kicks me out, I'll end up there one way or another. You might want to warn the wife.

#200) Tuesday, June 22, 2010
200! A better prize system: 1st place: A Cadillac 2nd place: A set of steak knives. 3rd place: You're fired.

#201) Tuesday, June 22, 2010

#202) Monday, July 12, 2010
Gotta say I preferred the Kauai trip, but that's pretty hard to beat. Nice try though.

#203) Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Plinky's Tactics makes me want to play WoW. Turning the computer off now.

#204) Thursday, August 05, 2010
1) Who are you? The coolest guy you know. 2) How do you know me? I stood next to you in marching band formations in 1998. Then I spoiled you for all other roommates the next year. Sorry Anna, it was never the same for him. Oh, and Rebecca. But wives don't really count as roommates. 3) How and when did you find this site? Somewhere around the time you posted pictures from our time in Delta Mu, Virginia Tech's NOT fake, VERY REAL non-service fraternity. Paige. How dare you. 4) Where is your website? Much like my next recital poster, you have not designed it yet. 5) What would you like to say to the rest of us? Doobie speaks the gospel. Except when he speaks about how much he loves the Ellen show.

#205) Friday, August 20, 2010
Wow, not holding out hope that I'll last even a day huh?

#206) Monday, January 24, 2011
Had a great time on Saturday! Now you'll have to excuse me whilst I go play band music. Your tax dollars, well spent!

#207) Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Best Recital Ever.

#208) Monday, February 14, 2011
Thanks for the money, chumps!

#209) Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I'm going to buy you The Big Lebowski on BluRay. I think you are the only person in the United States who hasn't seen it, which, if I'm not mistaken, makes you a communist.

#210) Friday, February 18, 2011
You're getting married AGAIN???

#211) Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Nice job, Pip. Sad to see you left something you were so good at to go be a carnie. And boy, Shac and I really swung the hell out of that one. Jeez. Can't wait to hear the other brilliant gems from my long forgotten past!

#212) Tuesday, April 19, 2011
You've been a camera whore your whole life? How else do you explain how you could spot a camera while going a million miles an hour on the back of a giant ladybug?

#213) Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I went to New York for school, have played all over the world with countless wonderful musicians, and still I have a very special place in my heart for Liz Benyo. What a voice!

#214) Thursday, April 28, 2011
I'm sure my next recital will be in the Northern VA area, and I'm sure I will be in need of a particularly talented page turner. You're at the top of my list.

#215) Friday, April 29, 2011
Heh. We totally were at Tots for this one.

#216) Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Wow. No words. They should have sent a poet.