Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Po Po Platter Day

List Day: One Things I Learned About Birds

  • If you go to the store and buy a bag of mixed bird seed for your bird feeder so your cats have something to watch all day long while you're at work, it will not attract a panoply of different birds. Instead, you will get one type of bird and they will eat the one type of seed they like while throwing all the rest on your porch for you to sweep up. Then they will poop on your stoop.
  • Movie Review Day
    Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown was "okay" -- not groundbreaking and not horrible. My ass informs me that it was about twenty minutes too long (my ass often informs me of such things) and I think Natalie Portman was a better "quirky love interest" in Garden State than Kirsten Dunst was in this movie.

    Musical Musing

    The timbre of Beth Orton's voice makes me want to take my migraine medicine in an intravenous drip turned all the way up. Her shaky vocals are literally the musical representation of car sickness (718KB MP3). I cannot understand why so many people went to hear her at the 9:30 Club or whatever local venue she recently visited. It's not that the music is so bad, but goodness, couldn't there be better singers out there somewhere?

    Newsday Wednesday
    A local plumber on a month long quest finally discovered a $20,000 engagement ring that had fallen into an auto-flush toilet by prying up a manhole. First, kudos to the plumber for his dogged pursuit. He is like the Javert of missing expensive crap flushed down the toilet. Second, $20,000 for an engagement ring? Really? Isn't the rule of thumb "two months salary" (or make it out of trumpet pieces if you are an unemployed trumpeter still in school in New York)? I guess it's feasible that a former professional baseball player turned high school teacher could make $120,000 a year. I know I don't. Finally, the fianc? is now my hero for joking at the critical moments of loss, "Is your arm caught in the toilet? Because if it's not, stop crying. Well, that was a short engagement." That takes major balls since you never want to mess with a woman and her engagement ring.

    Wednesday Fragment

  • My family never separated its laundry when I was growing up -- everything was dumped into the washing machine on the Cold/Cold cycle with no special treatment. As a result, all of my underwear was a dinghy grey, and my $74 Crew Anorak was perpetually pink.
  • Cat Media Wednesday
    Even if you hate cats, you will love this video, submitted by Anna (2MB WMV). There is inherent comic value in any movie where babies get beat up by cats, in my unbiased opinion. In fact, I will train my future child from an early age to eat catnip and chase Booty around the house and then submit it to America's Funniest Videos for the big cash prize. For good measure, here is a video of me pissing Booty off with a feather on a string (1 MB WMV). There are also new cat pictures at the bottom of this page and non-cat pictures from Poker Night and St. Patrick's Day: . I only have a few, not because my friends are so unphotogenic, but because they are highly recalcitrant when it comes to being happy go-lucky photo subjects.

    New LOST tonight!

    Lawyer adds 'litigious' to his dating profile
    Part I: City official with 22 years of experience tells operating system company to stop hacking his government
    Part II: City official tells journalists to turn off the Internet

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