Friday, November 11, 2005

Friday Fragments

Because there is nowhere else suitable for stories about bull semen

  • Happy Birthday Kelley Corbett! I have not seen Kelley since Pip's wedding two summers ago, so he's probably a grey-haired hippie with a potbelly by now, but that's what happens when you finally turn 18 and pass the puberty exam.

  • The previous statement is probably a good example of why I get profanity-laced globules of sarcasm from Kelley via e-mail. And, he is actually 24 or something.

  • You may find it unusual that I'm posting on a federal holiday. Federal holidays are only good excuses for killing updates on days where I actually have to think of something to write about, and Friday never qualifies as such. Plus, there are far too many birthdays in the queue, with both Rosie and Roseanne's birthday coming up on Sunday. Sometimes I wonder why I post birthdays of people who don't even read this site, and then realize that it will make me look like a caring, conscientious friend, should we reacquaint fourteen years from now. I picked the number fourteen randomly, but it turns out that I will be 40 at that time. I guess 40 is as good a milestone as any to reconnect with people of the past (plus I can purchase a mount in Stormwind for 90G).

  • Honestly though, I just forgot that it was a holiday today until I was on the phone last night with gloating people who have the day off. It's a good thing I leave at noon on Fridays anyhow. I scoff at your holidays.

  • The hardest part of writing sections of my updates the night before is remembering whether to put verbs in the present or past tense. Sometimes I just give up and use both interchangeably. That's probably why people say I'm two tense.

  • If you would like to hear the definition of "Musical Atrocity" find a recording of Rasputina's cover of Led Zeppelin's Rock & Roll. I heard it on the radio this morning, and it's already on my fabled list of uniquely bad music, which also includes M.I.A.'s Bucky Done Gun, Groove Armada's I See You Baby, Elena's With Those Eyes, and Tatu's How Soon Is Now.

  • My ukelele finally came last week. In order to get my $19.95 worth, next year's Halloween costume will have to include it somehow. I'm thinking "ukelele player" or "ukelelephant". The make-up would probably be pretty tough for the second one.

  • I was reading an article in the Post yesterday about indecency fines imposed by the FCC on radio and TV shows, and found it amusing that there was a fine imposed in 1989 for playing a Bangles parody, "Walk With An Erection" over the airwaves. The article online is accompanied by a complete list of fines and the exact reasons behind them, which makes for a very amusing read:. Host Scott Farrell tells caller he will "stuff his package" into caller's wife's mouth.

  • On a Veterans' Day note, I am constantly amazed by the people who put their love for country or cause ahead of the love for their family. A Lorton father of five who was just married this summer was recently killed in Iraq. I don't understand their motivations, and alternate between thinking it's very noble and very stupid. When I am married and have a family, I will do everything within my power to not be fighting in a foreign country, because I think the duty to your family always trumps the duty to your country. I honestly don't think there is a single cause that I would be willing to join a war for, unless the terrorist was actually sitting on my front lawn, posing a direct threat to me and my own.

  • My weekend will be filled with a fun movie night and more Thanksgiving festivities. I will also make a trip at some point to pick up some decorative knick-knacks for the upstairs guest room. A comforter would be nice -- it's getting chilly and I've stolen all the blankets off that bed for my own maniacal purposes.

  • Have a good weekend! Don't forget to put your name on my map of readers.

  • Principal Ridicules Innocent Child, Parades Her Around School
    Typical NOVA women, always on their cell phones

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