The preview version of Netscape is pretty snazzy. It runs fast, and the tabbed-window feature is especially nice.

Tattooist has the last laugh.

Now that there's no more party planning to deal with, I can get back to the assorted house tasks, such as creating the bar, renovating the storage room, and designing a sidewalk/landscaping scheme for the outside. I have enough hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, sodas, and beer leftover to have daily parties until the Fourth of July.

The pool table is on a truck and should arrive tomorrow night or Thursday. I'll probably have some folks over this weekend for some pooly deeds. It turns out that the last remaining oak laminate table in my selected style was damaged, so they upgraded my accessories package free of charge and will give me a black laminate one instead (exactly as pictured). They offered to upgrade the table instead to a nice oak one, but I prefer the look of the enclosed pockets and the convenience of a ball return.

Ben, who was hooked on Alias burned through the first two seasons and finished the second one just last night.

Traitor's Knot the book which has been delayed since last November finally began shipping last week, so I took a trip out to Border's "We play the worst new age piano music ever" Bookstore but didn't find any copies. I did come away with three new CDs though: Dave Matthews' Stand Up, Coldplay's X & Y, and Jem's Finally Woken. My initial impressions: Stand Up is more of the same, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's a fairly mellow Dave Matthews album with nothing as edgy as his original offerings from the late 90s. X & Y contains the infamous single, Speed of Sound which was to become the first song to open at #1 in the UK since the Beatles, but which was beat out at the last minute by a ringtone which is apparently driving Brits crazy . The orchestration is much thicker than on Parachutes and A Rush of Blood to the Head which makes it slightly tedious, but the songs are upbeat and catchy. Apparently Chris Martin is not so moody and dark now that he's married to Gwyneth Paltrow and naming his kids after produce.

The final CD is one I picked up on a whim based on some singles I'd heard on XM. It's a very eclectic mix, and reminds me of Dido meets Butterfly Boucher meets Tali. Here's a couple samples, hosted by Amazon.com:

If I'm still listening to these CDs in a few weeks I'll post deeper reviews of them. Have comments of your own? Post them using the Comments link in the upper right corner!

Master of the House

It's been awhile since I've posted about improvements made to my home, but you can rest assured that work continues at a slow and stately pace, and that the house isn't decaying from the inside out to collapse upon itself in years to come. Most recently, I've been taking care of the exterior -- washing windows, mowing the lawn, weeding beds, and doing work on the roof with my dad. The bed on the west side of the house finally has shrubs and mulch in it -- previously it would just fill up with water during every rain shower, making it useful only for breeding mosquitoes and leveling up your fishing skills.

Next Friday, my dad and I are going to add an orifice to the house -- a second window in the master bedroom overlooking the backyard. My backyard is pleasant and woodsy, but I never get to see it from inside my house. Plus, the window will add some natural light to my bedroom, making it easier to wake up in the morning and increasing the Loudoun County assessment by roughly 62%. Because we plan to tear the hole in the house using high-grade explosives (probably C-4), I plan on redoing the paint and carpet in the master bedroom as well. I'm not sure what colors to use yet -- I have a blue room and a red room already, but I don't necessarily want to make my house into a colour wheel of rooms.

Once "Operation Gaping Chasm" is complete, I have two more major tasks planned out: I want to lay do-it-yourself laminate flooring in the foyer and the kitchen to replace the nasty linoleum tiling, and I want to set up a wireless network in the house so I can put all my music on one archival computer and play it all from anywhere in the house without having to copy CDs left and right. Of course, home improvement and maintenance never ends, so there are probably a million other smaller tasks on my list. If you have any need for a handy man, my rates run between 40 and 50 dollars an hour and I will even sag my pants in the back like a plumber.

Happy Birthday Mike Polson!

Friday Fragments

because I have the day off and you don't

♣ Today's post is probably slightly later than usual because I took a day of leave (which means I only have 256 hours, or 32 full days left, OH NO) following an evening of sheepish debauchery. Actually, I had planned on taking leave, but worked so many extra hours at the beginning of the week that I get the day for free! That's economic.

♣ Last night was Lamb Night 2007. A few folks came over for dinner and I slaughtered one of the sheep that lives on the common ground behind my house. I cooked my signature tomato lamb garnished with rosemary, and a side of instant mashed potatoes. It shear was great. My freezer was full of stale-tasting ice from the last barbeque, so I dumped it in the sink, then I pulled wool over my ice to make it melt faster.

♣ The newspapers are filled with stories about the icebergs in Greenland which are melting much faster than expected which means that Florida only has a few years left before it's 50 square miles and invaded by Georgia for annexation. I'm not sure who would win in a fight, an army of farm boys or an army of Cubans. Either group could probably kick Alabama's ass though, despite its little finger-shaped connection to the Gulf of Mexico.

♣ My finger is healing very nicely following the chocolate fountain (of blood) incident in the bathtub last weekend. It looked a lot grosser than this on the first couple days, but this isn't one of those Internet Gore sites. This, however, is.

♣ There are way too many Presidential candidates at the moment, and I bet even more are running as I type this. They should hogtie a random 50% of the candidates and mail them to Norway, since most of them have the same chance to win an election that Harry Potter 7 has to get released without someone leaking the ending.

♣ Speaking of Harry Potter, Ella told me that she either wanted to be a wizard or the conductor of the National Symphony Orchestra when she grows up. I told her to pick magic over music, because the Arts will be dead within the decade, but there's a chance that someone will learn how to cast spells by the time she grows up. You can decide which she'd be better at by playing music behind this animated picture, or by shouting out LIGHTNING BOLT! like she's casting a spell.

♣ My weekend is pretty packed. You can tell I'm a social butterfly because I got three e-vites. If you've never received an e-vite, it's an online party invitation with a complete list of guests and their RSVP notices. The proper etiquette is to view it every day to see who's replied, but not to reply until the day before the party when you are sure that you like everyone else who's going.

♣ Jack Bristow: It must've been lost in the mail.
Sydney Bristow: Your invitation?
Jack Bristow: Unless it was an e-vite. I don't read e-vites.

♣ Tonight, I'm going out to the Starbucks at Bailey's Crossroad to hear a free Rebecca Berlin performance, the hometown singer I plugged back in February. On Saturday, I plan on stopping by work for a bit to check on some long-running processes (which are also still running as I type this) before some lunch plans. In the evening, I'm going to Jack's "Creepy CIA Torture House" to celebrate Kristy's graduation from business school. Sunday is bathroom-work day, followed by the Baptism of Eleanor Potter of Hogwarts in the afternoon.

♣ Today is Mike Polson's birthday, and Sunday is Chris Sharp's birthday, both old T.C. Williamsers. Happy Birthday! Have a great weekend!

Weird Search Day

or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"

kim bauer useless

really bad "your cat's so fat" jokes
Your cat's so fat, she has eleven lives.
Your cat's so fat, she sinks in the litter box when she pees.
Your cat's so fat, she rolled over a lab puppy and turned it into a pug.
Your cat's so fat, she lands on her yards instead of her feet.
Your cat's so fat, she says, "WEow".
Your cat's so fat, Virginia Tech put a glass window in her belly.
Your cat's so fat, she poops smaller cats.
Your cat's so fat, she sank the Eukanuba.
Your cat's so fat, she's in the bourgeoisie.
Your cat's so fat, she falls on the wall.

illustrated drawing of dennis the menace getting a bare bottom spanking

Only very rarely is Dennis ever seen without his trademark overalls, so this is the best I could do.

an albino Emu eating a hot dog covered in ants

Your Internet scavenger hunt is complete, sir.

komodo uri

The Komodo Uri is capable of running at an upwards of twenty miles per hour, which allows it to chase and down strips of bacon in the wild.

Museday Tuesday

As part of this feature, which I started in 2007, I compose a very brief work (under 30 seconds) inspired by a randomly generated title from an online word generator. The composition can be for any instrumentation, and could even be a purely synthesized realization that might not be possible to perform in the real world.

I work on the excerpt continuously for an hour and then post whatever I've managed to complete, even if it's a poorly constructed slum of a song supported by a foundation of droning double stops and abused tubas.

Invidious: (adj.) causing or tending to cause animosity, resentment, or envy

This excerpt is written for strings, woodwinds, percussion, vibes, and bass. I was playing around with a two-bar fragment that was phased and unsettled in the first bar, and "fallen into place" in the second.

Weird Search Day

or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"

Road Day: Fairfax County Parkway

The Fairfax County Parkway has officially been given a new route number, 286 rather than 7100, as evidenced by the elephant-sized signs splashed along the median. I supposed that the signs aren't that big when compared to campaign signs, and you might be forgiven if you merely thought that 2867100 was running for office somewhere in Fairfax County and he assumed you were nearly blind.

Although the signs themselves are a huge waste, I'm definitely onboard with the change, for laziness reasons. It is impossible to refer to the road with its current name or old number in less than six syllables in a way that people will recognize appropriately. Calling it "the parkway" might work for people who live nearby, but I live in Sterling, which is adjacent to Ashburn, where every single paved surface is some kind of parkway (supposedly it evokes class). So, you usually have to speaking it very fast, like an auctioneer selling driving directions, or just direct your guests via other roads.

"Toll Road" is nice and succinct, and is the usual alternative, in spite of the fact that all of Rebecca's friends are cheap and insist upon taking Route 7 to visit us.

Weekend Wrap-up

Friday: Grilled and ate delicious burgers with garlic aioli, sauteed mushrooms, and Colby Jack cheese, then sat on the couch with cats and a Devil's Backbone Azrael.

Saturday: Worked on a proposal while Rebecca hiked 16 miles on the AT. Took a lunch break to mow the lawn, and a dinner break to eat too much Domino's Pizza, then got right back to it.

Sunday: Emptied out the shed, converting the basement into a temporary shed-like storage area, so the decaying building can be demolished in the name of progress and Booty. Started playing Witcher 3 in earnest. Enjoyed the spring-like weather on the back porch and then watched an episode of Luther before retiring for the night.

How was your weekend?

Memory Day: Snapshots

This picture was taken 20 years ago today, on June 8, 1996.

I was attending Jack's Eagle Scout Court of Honor at some church in Old Town, Alexandria. Unlike Troop 131, where these ceremonies were unnecessarily overdone (mine featured bulk dinner rolls from Costco and more candles than an Amish power outage), Troop 135 ceremonies were a streamlined affair in the middle of a Saturday morning. In fact, two other scouts, Ben and Mark, both received their award at the same ceremony.

I was not looking at the camera in this particular shot, as I was too preoccupied worrying about everyone watching me as my dad took pictures of me with the entire cast of attendees. Teenage embarrassment!

Maia Week #48 Battle Report

Maia is now 11.0466 months old and reaching the end of the phase where everything is rigorously documented -- the next Battle Report will liking come out in 2035 and cover her angst in choosing between Virginia Tech and an out of state school because all of the other in-state schools will no longer exist due to inferiority. Maia still weighs in the 16 - 17 pound range and crawls all over the place. She can clamber onto platforms less than a foot off the ground and then use that perch to get elsewhere higher, but cannot yet go up stairs on her own. She has one more front tooth growing in from above now for a grand total of 3. Like her father, she is already adept at accidentally biting her lip between these teeth.

We've settled on May 14th being her first word day. It was just "Dada", but she pointed and laughed at me like a bully while saying it so clearly it has a connected meaning now. She still says "bwa" more than "dada" though.

Maia hates being on the changing table unless distracted by a toy, and loves being in the bathtub for her twice weekly bath. Last bath, she ignored every single bath toy and played with her belly button the whole time -- she has a future as the Army Liaison to the Office of Naval Contemplation.

She has almost every room of the house open to her now and is often content to just sit around playing by herself while we do our own thing nearby. A common game is to take things out of one container and put them into another. Another game, called "Truffle Hunter", is where she wrinkles up her face and makes heavy breathing noises. She still has not caught the cat, but the cat allows her to get within 5 feet of her before moving away -- I'm sure they'll be best friends in about 4 years.

There has been a gentle upswing in the amount of work I'm taking on, which makes the days a little bit longer. However, this is balanced out by the consistent 90 minute nap that Maia takes every day around 1 PM. The second nap is hit-or-miss -- it's either 30 minutes of crying followed by 30 minutes of dozing, or a full hour of fussing. I expect that this 2nd nap will be the first one to phase out as Maia grows up!

Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 11

Maia is now just 1 month away from being 3 years old. Weighing in at 27 pounds and standing 33" tall, she's still comfortably fitting into her two-year-old clothes.

She has a huge vocabulary and understands moderately complex concepts (last month she saw a spider web and asked, "What do spiders use to make the webs?") but still does not pronounce the 2nd consonant in a pair of consonants (we often mishear "cows" vs. "clouds"). She's said a few clever things so far, but nothing worth retelling (the setup would be longer than the punchline in each case). After a recent trip to the forest, she remembered something she had seen and her face lit up as she said, "WE SAW SOME DEER!" -- she acted more like a kindergartner than a 2-year-old then. She's also very empathetic, and will ask Rebecca how her food tastes or ask to set aside something to send to one of her friends.

Quarantine continues to drag on, but Maia has been able to see her best friend, Nolan, twice in supervised outdoor visits. She's over video chats but will wave at whoever's on the chat before disappearing into the next room. It recently got warm enough to set up the kiddie pool on the screen porch, which is an amazing way to burn a few hours in the morning or afternoon. Indoors, she's an expert at any search-and-find activity, to the point where I'm considering buying her a Where's Waldo? book. Dress-up is a new craze, with a box full of Halloween cast-offs. She spent this weekend as Sister Bear Minnie Mouse.

On TV, she likes watching Super Wings, Daniel Tiger, and short segments of Disney movies like Cars and Moana (especially the 30 minute "Coronation Day" sequence in Let It Go that hits all of the most familiar songs). She's still young enough that she would rather rewatch things already seen than try to follow the plot of a movie all the way through. Everything gets reenacted at bedtime. Last night, she yelled, "I am Moana!!" over and over.

I just asked Maia what she wants to do after she turns 3 next month, and she said, "I will put on my dog hat." Everyone should have such life ambitions.

Data Day: A Typical Summer Weekday