Posts Tagged as searches

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  1. Friday, October 19, 2018:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"       rasputin sex tuba  Let's pretend that the user didn't just misspell the word "tube". More likely, this is some adventurous sex position popularized by Grigori Rasputin involving his apocryphal giant penis.     vintage rottweiller figurines with signature on bottom     Historians say that the artist went into politics after being rejected from art school twice.     hole "dig deeply"  This sounds like the eHow Wiki instructions for digging a hole.   Locate a plot of ground where you suspect there may be a concealed hole.   With your shovel, dig deeply t...
  2. Tuesday, September 22, 2015:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"       narration of a trip through florida to disney world including all expenses,tourist destinations and routes taken. you must also visit at least one relative on the trip and spend the night at their house. that teens created   There are probably better choices of plagiarism material than a personal vacation log -- is that really something you couldn't create on your own? Won't your teacher find out when you talk about staying the night at your Grandpa Shostakovich's house when your surname is Chopra? Save the plagiarism for the thematic essay on Robert Frost, and churn out some BS for this assignment.      paddling upstream...
  3. Tuesday, August 05, 2014:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"     Is Mia Maestro bowlegged?   SHE IS NOW.        listerine for foot defoliation  First off, if your scungy feet are epidermal barnacles, capable of remaining afloat in a canoe of calluses and dead skin, you are probably looking for help with  exfoliation  and not  defoliation  -- that is, unless your feet are in such bad shape that they are also nurturing plant life between your toes. Listerine does contain chemicals that can kill bacteria, but that won't directly impact your dead skin cells. Besides, your breath is awful today, and you would be better served by using that listerine in yo...
  4. Tuesday, March 25, 2014:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"     hadoop for laymen  After searches for ear training cheats and reviews of my office chair, "hadoop for laymen" has become the third highest search term because of my class summary for a  Hadoop training course . The only anomaly in this situation is that 100% of the searches originate from India. Therefore, I presume that an entire generation of Indian programmers is learning about Hadoop solely through my four paragraphs of impeccable pedagogy.     catchy caption for french fried chicken    This ad campaign from Popeyes might be considered to be minimally clever, except for the fact that they (rightly)...
  5. Tuesday, December 17, 2013:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"     what happens to open beverages when someone farts in the room does it stick to the bevs   The ground truth is actually even more invasive. Should someone fart in a room, the fart molecules will expand to fill the empty space (not unlike the Big Bang). The kinetic energy of the molecules will allow them to permeate any liquid substances in the room, ensuring that your Pepsi becomes a Poopsi. Worse though, is that some high velocity farts (specifically those that sound like rent fabrics) can even break the epidermis and get into your bloodstream, bringing truth to your friends' observations that you're full of something. However, being in the same room, t...
  6. Tuesday, May 14, 2013:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"    Currently, the ratio of searches for ear training cheats to legitimately insane searches is about 12 to 1.    chef boyardee rapist  It is unclear from this search whether this misanthrope was given the name because he did unspeakable things to canned lunches or because he left a can behind at all of his crime scenes. Alternately, he could bear more than a passing resemblance to the iconic logo, although that giant chef's hat would definitely increase wind resistance during his fleeing activities.     mnemonic wiseowl shotgun presentation    This mnemonic device is often used in elementary school gun demo...
  7. Wednesday, September 19, 2012:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"    Can you believe that it's been over half a year since the last time I posted the strange Google searches that arrive at my website?    is camping possible in the jiffy lube live parking lot    At the venue formerly (and less embarrassingly) known as Nissan Pavilion, camping is about all you can do, since the design of this site and its surrounding roads are the urban planning equivalent of driving spermicide.  It can take hours to clear the lot after a concert, since the site's only two points of egress vomit cars onto the same two-lane country road, with no direct access to the highway. Motions to rename the neighbouring Ball...
  8. Monday, May 21, 2012:
    Trending Day  May 18, 2012: The first day when more Google searchers are interested in video game key bindings than how to cheat at various ear training programs. Cue the infamy.   
  9. Wednesday, February 29, 2012:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I Stumbled Upon the URI! Zone"    The number of weird searches has decreased in 2012, and it seems as if many people are using browsers that hide the search term by default. Since this is no good for the sake of comedy, I may have to vote against any privacy rules rolled out in the future.    why is milk cheaper at the leesburg virginia costco than at the winchester virginia costco  According to data released by the USDA, the number of milk-giving cows which have calved has decreased in Maryland while holding steady in Virginia and West Virginia. This means that many cows have moved out of Maryland and converged upon the inner-Beltway area (sometimes called "black and white f...
  10. Wednesday, January 11, 2012:
    How to Cheat at MacGamut / Practica Musica   Fun Fact : In 2012, Ball State University had the highest percentage of prospective cheaters of all undergraduate universities! By a lot! Congratulations Ball State!   The URI! Zone has long been a magnet for Google searches from music majors try to cheat on their ear training exercises (even though there are no cheats available here). Back in  2008 , I first had this to say about the phenomenon:    MacGamut and Practica Musica are two (ineptly coded) programs that track the ear training progress of freshman music majors all over the country. You have two options if you are struggling with these programs: practice more, or switch to Business. (The third alternative, take my wonderful ear...
  11. Wednesday, October 26, 2011:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     popular trumpet solos played at hockey games  I would definitely recommend the  third movement  of the George Antheil trumpet sonata, as the technical prowess needed to perform it will surely land you some puck bunnies.     redneck pooper        What does an augmented fourth look like?  I've always imagined an augmented fourth to resemble a full-grown lemur with a lazy eye. This is strange because I do not picture a diminished fifth in the same way, even though the two intervals are enharmonically the same. (A diminished fifth looks more like a hunchback in tights).   &...
  12. Wednesday, June 08, 2011:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     does my homeowners insurance cover if chipmunks destroy my camper  Generally, homeowner policies do not cover acts of war -- I think you have a pretty good case unless an investigator can discern that the chipmunks in your area recently became insurgent or started bearing arms, and the only known case of that happening was in late 2009, following the release of  Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel .     Are scabies prevalant at massage parlors?  I'm not really sure if I should delve too deeply into the reason that Yahoo search puts me in 6th place for this search. This is the first I've heard of a scabies ph...
  13. Wednesday, November 17, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     ATROCIOUS HICKIES     The capital letters may be warranted in this search query. Honestly, who would ever want to make out with a molerat?     fsu teacher fell off overpass on way to airport  Unless the city of Tallahassee has recently gone through the dryer on high heat, it's a little too far to walk to the airport, so it's unlikely that a stereotypically out-of-shape academic would try. Besides the dangers of overpasses, you'd also face a myriad of challenges such as panhandlers, stretches of vacant lots and strip clubs, and the unruly students at Florida A&M.     making a hamburger assembly line...
  14. Wednesday, September 01, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     what did the costco thief in herndon steal?  Is this a riddle? He probably stole your sense of entitlement and high HOA fees (in bulk).     "african boobies" -saggy -droopy -ugly      Everyone knows that boobies are indigenous to the Pacific Ocean, so any you find in Africa must be on holiday.     greek mythologist salary  This sounds like one of those "careers that don't actually exist" which I probably would have wanted to be involved in for three weeks as a kid. Triton not get your hopes up -- A'Zeus suspect, you Midas well be a Pan handler because the wages of a Greek mythologist a...
  15. Wednesday, June 02, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    It's time for another round of strange Google keyword searches that lead to my site. All of these searches were actually performed by peculiar people over the last couple of months.    did totino's change their recipe there are no seeds in it  At least on the East Coast, Totino's pizzas still have seasoning seeds on them. The only noticeable change is that the packaging now tells you to cook the pizza for three additional minutes, as if that will protect you from the E. coli on the pepperoni.     john tesh wedding registry dishes    Start your marriage off on the right foot by eating green beans off of John...
  16. Wednesday, February 17, 2010:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"      alligator coverall mario     In his alligator suit, Mario can eat enemies, flip Luigi to higher platforms on his snout, and turn into the Princess when the temperature drops below 86 degrees Farenheit.     "spanish poem" about the virginia tech  Because I don't speak Spanish, here's one in French instead. Note that it actually rhymes.     J'aime aller ? l'Institut Polytechnique  de la Virginie et l'Universit? de l'Etat, c'est magnifique.  Parce que "Wahoo" ressemble ? du "Waterloo"  Et c'est o? Napoleon a perdu.  Quand il perdes,  Il dit "Merde!",  Et ce n'est pas tr?s g...
  17. Wednesday, December 02, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     catchy captions for heat capacity          what chapter does it talk about jem and the lightpole?  This dialogue actually takes place in Chapter One of the ghost-written autobiography. In Chapter Two, technology advances sufficiently enough to allow the lightpole to diffuse the light, and by Chapter Three, the Holograms are complete.     news about basement plastic surgery in Lowell, Massachusetts  Apparently Mike (of Mike and Chompy) has been running a side business in addition to his musical teachings and the cheating of online merchants. This is probably his proactive approach to...
  18. Wednesday, September 23, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     applebees operational flow charts  Applebee's is a shallow organizational structure, with the bulk of employees reporting directly to Mr. Applebee. In the event of the catastrophic loss of the CEO, the strongest employees will have a food fight to determine who will succeed him. My money is on the server armed with "con sizzle".     Reston Town Center drug dealer  I highly doubt that someone in this line of work advertises their services on the Internet. Your best bet would be to visit the town center in person and sidle up to shady individuals near the fountain, asking them if they "have a cousin named Sven".   &n...
  19. Wednesday, August 26, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"     how to make gangster hats out of construction paper    Start with a ribbed paper plate (for your pleasure) and paint it completely black for the brim. Roll a piece of grey construction paper into a cylinder (or a Moebius strip if you are a savvy gangster that isn't quite what he seems). Secure with tape or gum.     pepco prostitution ring  A prostitution ring at the highest levels of PEPCO management was able to remain a closely-guarded secret for quite a few years, until one unfortunate period of media attention when the "manholes" kept erupting prematurely.     how can i find swiss swatch in...
  20. Wednesday, July 29, 2009:
    Weird Search Day   or "How I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"    Today is Mike's (of Mike's and Chompy's) lucky day, since the number of strange Google searches are increasing exponentially, and leaving enough search terms for more than one Weird Search Day this month!    frottage in wave pool  It seems almost oxymoronic to have dry humping in the water, not to mention dangerous, since you might be in flagrante when struck by a fat kid on an inner-tube. This is not sexy.     ask jeeves is it OK to fly 2 weeks after having wisdom teeth removed?   HEAVENS NO!! THERES A PRESSURE CHANGE WHEN YOU GO UP IN A PLANE AND ALL THE BLOOD IN UR BODY WILL SHOOT OUT THROUGH THE HOLES...
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