Posts from 06/2010
Like a forklift lifting a crate of forks, we decided to use this holiday weekend for its exact purpose, and spent Saturday and Sunday camping at Assateague National Seashore. We left just before 7 on Saturday morning and had a surprisingly traffic-free drive, making it to the beach in about three and a half hours.
Camping was a very pleasant experience, with mild temperatures and high winds to keep the bugs away. We were surrounded by free range ponies and their poop, and spent the first day sitting on the beach. The second day, we rented single-speed bikes with pedal brakes and biked all over the island.
Meanwhile in a fit of self-preservation back home, Booty figured out how to open the child-proofed cabinet containing the cat food and completely devoured what was left inside. Because the bottom inch was several years of accumulated powder, it expanded in her stomach and ended up in six distinct piles of cat vomit throughout the basement.
On Monday, after folding several baskets of camping-induced laundry, we went to an impromptu barbeque at Jack's house, where we ate delicious ribs and chatted with pregnant people.
How was your holiday?
Man admits to vomit assault at Phillies game
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or "how I stumbled upon the URI! Zone"
It's time for another round of strange Google keyword searches that lead to my site. All of these searches were actually performed by peculiar people over the last couple of months.
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Yesterday was a 13-hour work day, so I didn't have time to write today's update. However the topic would have come from the following list:
Yet again, I worked too much yesterday to write a Fragments column (although the steak and the really hard-to-obtain Star in Mario Galaxy 2 returned census forms identifying themselves as "work" too). Rather than try to throw something together now which might diminish the literary value of the site, I'll give you the opportunity to peek in my sister instead.
Grim Eater banned from funerals
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The weekend opened with a bout of high-humidity lawn-mowing on Friday afternoon, followed by a quickly-prepared dinner of shrimp-decorated linguini and other hyphenated deliciousness. Afterwards, Rebecca left for Arlington to be hip with her friends, while I stayed home and relaxed with a few games of Starcraft 2 and some cats.
We woke up decadently late on Saturday, and spent the afternoon doing responsible things like car washing and trip planning, followed by dinner at Ted's Montana Grill where I had the S.O.B., a bison burger with Swiss cheese, carmelized onions, and bacon. I can't really taste much of a difference between bison burgers and cow burgers, though I suppose the latter is garnished with the tears of American Indians.
Rebecca and Annie ran in a woodsy 5K early on Sunday morning in Algonquian Park while I stayed home and did some floor cleaning -- scrubbing the laminate floors in the kitchen and foyer, and wiping down years of accumulated cat litter dust in the room with the litter box. Although, it's convenient to keep the litter in the laundry room, it also means that you can't hang clothes up to dry for more than a couple days before they become infused with the scent of clay dust (this is also a good incentive to only wear clothes that can go in the dryer, like any good male should).
We closed the weekend out with a double-parental barbeque in Alexandria, and then came home and promptly fell into bed.
Graham cracker bonanza fuels frenzy on Dallas freeway
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As part of this feature, which I started in 2007, I compose a very brief work (under 30 seconds) inspired by a randomly generated title from an online word generator. The composition can be for any instrumentation, and could even be a purely synthesized realization that might not be possible to perform in the real world.
I work on the excerpt continuously for an hour and then post whatever I've managed to complete, even if it's a poorly constructed slum of a song supported by a foundation of droning double stops and abused tubas.
Invidious: (adj.) causing or tending to cause animosity, resentment, or envy
My Composition (0:30 MP3)This excerpt is written for strings, woodwinds, percussion, vibes, and bass. I was playing around with a two-bar fragment that was phased and unsettled in the first bar, and "fallen into place" in the second.
N Korea hails development of new 'super drink'
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DDMSence v1.4.0 is now available for download, and fulfilled the "code something or write something" slot in yesterday's schedule, which was right after the "eat wings for lunch" slot and right before the "take a nap before losing at volleyball by 2 points" slot. I am hoping to find a way to expand my days with more slots, but I enjoy the "sleeping" slot far too much.
Anti-speed camera activist nabs Bluff City PD's expiring web domain
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Mario Galaxy 2 is a great game which really feels like a massive expansion pack to the original, rather than anything new or innovative. If you liked the first game at all, this game is more in the same vein, and you'll like it just as much. As I write this review, I'm 110 stars in, and on the secret levels after the (unexpectedly boring) final boss fight.
There's very little new graphically, and the gameplay is familiar -- deepened from the first game but not broadened. All 3D console games suffer from horribly implemented cameras, but the "planet gravity" style of this series tends to minimize the innumerable deaths you might blame on the camera. Difficulty walks the line between annoying and frustrating very well, and while levels scale up in difficulty fairly quickly, nothing is overly challenging until the last world. The music is the best part, a perfect mix of fully orchestrated tunes and classics, and the sound is passably good besides the standard annoying Mario whoops on each jump.
With so much care and polish put into the great parts, it's really disappointing that they've not taken the time to improve the classically bad aspects, most of them UI-based.
Unskippable Custcenes: While it's true that you can skip certain sequences after you've seen them once, the pace of the game between actual playtime is horribly slow. Each level is accompanied by several seconds of Mario flying through space, or being forced to wander around the ridiculous Mario-shaped spaceship that flies between worlds -- evidently they failed to recognize that the hub was the worst part of Mario Galaxy, and included it PLUS a world map for twice the load times. Now, you return to the hub after each level, wade through four status messages, and then travel from the hub to the world map to go to the next level.
Conversationally, everyone has tons of useless information to provide, and it appears on the screen letter-by-letter unless you constantly hold a button down. If I see someone who says "I'm a Banktoad!", I'm going to assume that it's a Toad who does some sort of banking and intuitively figure out the rest -- I don't need four bubbles of text on how to deposit my Star Bits.
I am not 12: Nintendo continues to color in random words and phrases in dialogue, as if gamers are incapable of understanding basic English sentences. Every time Captain Blobbo on the spaceship called Princess Peach "your special one", it felt like he was politely hinting that she may be retarded (and she would have to be to keep getting kidnapped by Bowser). Also, every time you run out of lives (another useless holdover from ancient Mario games), Captain Blobbo tries to calm you down by suggesting that you take a break for a while. DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN.
The Wii is not a Precision Gaming Console: Don't make a platformer that requires precision spins, and then bind that action to A HAND SPASM. Give me a button (and a wired controller) so I don't spin off the world when I have to scratch my nose. Also, when you include a timed minigame where you have to stomp on 100 enemies, then place those enemies in a poorly differentiated 3D plane where you can't tell if you're going to land on top of them or in front of them, let me change the camera to be higher up!
Lava Blows: It always has, but ever since Mario 64, lava has caused Mario to bounce around the screen in a nearly uncontrollable scatter drill. Being able to take three hits is irrelevant when your first contact with lava is likely to drop you back in the lava two more times. This game actually makes me hate lava more than I hate ice.
Final Grade: A-, in spite of the annoyances
Woman jailed for using 911 as a date line
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advocating getting knocked down rather than knocked up since 1962
♠ It's proposal season at work, and my advancing years at the company mean that I actually have to get involved this time around, so website updates may occasionally fall back on a clip show over the next couple of weeks. I do feel good about my proposal skills though, since the last effort I was involved in went off without a hitch, or maybe with a hitch.
♠ Government contract proposals would be much more interesting if the competing companies could face off in a Survivor-style challenge, with last company standing receiving the contract. Something like "The Bachelor" might also be interesting, but would probably lead to bad SEC-like publicity.
♠ Speaking of creatively bankrupt reality shows, Wednesday's TV section in the Post listed a show about spoiled wives, followed by bridal weight loss and a woman who gave birth on a boat without knowing she was pregnant. As a bonus, there was also a show about finding worms in places you'd never imagine.
♠ Personally, if there were worms in places I'd never, ever expect worms to reside, I think I would be okay with never, ever discovering that they are there. It's the same blinder mentality that allows me to be okay with that senior guy at the office who never washes his hands after urinal usage -- I don't really need to know what he's touching after he leaves as long as I remember never to greet him with a handshake.
♠ I am generally a handshake greeter by default, but have found that being married requires you to convert into a social hugger. Apparently, it isn't seemly for a single guy to hug other people's wives, but it's quite alright to lay the foundations for a swingers' club and hug all the women once you're married.
♠ Plans for this 12 of 12 weekend include the wedding of one of Rebecca's cousins in Alexandria, a hike up Old Rag, and a mortar mix of overtime work cementing everything together. There may also be a Caption Contest coming up next week to whet the wit of my readers who've been left with half-assed entries for much of the past two weeks (and this trend is not likely to lessen while I'm in on-the-job training next week).
♠ Have a great weekend!
Big Cats Obsess Over Calvin Klein's 'Obsession for Men'
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7:34 AM: Waking up early to do some work. |
9:56 AM: Shaving for today's wedding. | |
10:38 AM: Girls eating breakfast (.com) |
1:12 PM: After dropping off Rebecca (who was in the wedding), I stopped by my parents' house to eat their food. My mom did not wish to be photographed. | |
2:04 PM: Rebecca the Bridesmaid |
2:06 PM: Flower girls | |
2:15 PM: Vows in 90 degree heat |
2:27 PM: Recessional | |
3:57 PM: Flower girls at play. |
4:32 PM: He's considering it. | |
5:18 PM: Eighty people in a room tends to reduce the efficiency of the air conditioner. |
8:53 PM: After we got home, we were too pooped to make anything good for dinner. |
See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site!
Man in SWAT standoff married "too damn long"
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The picture below was taking from Reuter's Pictures of the Month and is the subject of this month's caption contest.
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Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
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Oh, the things it must have seen on its trip around town!
Squatters cozy up in mansion
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celebrating a Kelley-free Virginia, at least for a couple more months
♠ Sorry for the delay in writing this noise -- I was busy getting the CompTIA Security+ certification this afternoon after eating a leftover steak n' cheese half from Omia's. After doing so many practice questions from horribly edited exam books, I made out with a 97%. I try to get a new certification every two years ago to prove that I am dearly invested in my career and staying current.
♠ The biggest pet peeve I have about the certification prep industry is how poorly written every "cram"-style book is. In the cheap book for this certification, over 30 questions had incorrect answers, and most were English constructs barely passable for a Chinese takeout menu.
♠ It's been a while since I had Chinese takeout because it doesn't really excite me anymore. I always want to get eggdrop soup, but since it doesn't reheat well, I usually fill up on it and have no room left for the cashew chicken. Plus, I still believe that duck and things with pancakes involve too much effort for the amount of return you get from eating.
♠ Speaking of food, tonight is sushi night! Plans for the weekend involve a birthday barbeque for Rebecca with burgers, hot dogs, and pony rides, followed by tons of sleep to make up for the week in training limbo. I might even take a nap as I type this.
♠ Have you submitted your entry for Tuesday's Caption Contest yet? They're due by Monday. Have a good weekend!
Illinois singer hits the lowest note
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The only event on the calendar for this past weekend was a potluck barbeque for Rebecca's 27th birthday, which offered us a much-needed escape from the overly-planned weekends so far in June. We grilled burgers, dogs, and kabobs and played games of badminton, cornhole, pool, and Imaginiff in weather that was surprisingly accomodating -- though it was still over 90 degrees, the backyard and deck remained shady under what passes for a forest around here.
On Sunday, we did very little beyond relaxing and eating unhealthy leftovers, and also started in on the fifty-plus beers which were left unconsumed at the barbeque (probably because Rebecca's friends are lightweights).
Have you submitted an entry for the Caption Contest yet? The deadline is this evening at 6 PM, and I've already received 8 entries from 6 readers, virtually guaranteeing the existence of a second place prize.
Man who lost arm comes out ahead with a new furnace
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We had a surprisingly successful turnout for this month's Caption Contest -- so much so that I cut a few "second" entries that were too similar to others. Vote for your favourite using the Poll in the sidebar of this site by Sunday, June 27, at 6 PM.
The winners will be announced on the following Monday, and all of the entrants will be given proper credit for their entries. Should there be a tie for first place, I will cast the deciding vote. Ties for the other places will just result in extra prizes! Hooray!
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There are no spoilers in these reviews.
The Big Short by Michael Lewis:
This book on the 2008 mortgage crisis had some potential, but never fully drew me in. The author falls into the trap that Michael Crichton faced in some of his later books: jumping between a gaggle of main characters that rarely interact with each other, resulting in a set of disjunct vignettes and names on a page. By about 2/3rds through the book, I was just reading to finish it -- the writing is good, and the explanations of the more obtuse concepts are as clear as they could be, but it just didn't make me want to read it.
Final Grade: C-
Lost on Planet China by J. Maarten Troost:
This is the third in Troost's set of travel books, and I liked it more than Getting Stoned with Savages but less than Sex Lives of Cannibals. On the plus side, the story is more cohesive than the previous book, and a good dose of historical writing ties his trip through China together from beginning to end. As a minus, his entire reason for leaving his family at home and wandering around China for a couple months seems like a shabby excuse to write a travel book, and it's used more to set up the action rather than to provide a purpose for each of the sights he visits. This book also could have been trimmed by a hundred pages or so without many tears.
Final Grade: B
How We Operate by Gomez:
This CD is an earlier release from Gomez, whose CD, A New Tide I reviewed last month. It's catchy, over 50 minutes long, and lacks any whiny indie songs. Definitely a good pick for $4 from Amazon Marketplace.
Final Grade: A-
Costco's Kirkland Mickey Mouse Chicken Nuggets w/Whole Grain Breading:
These chicken nuggets may have gotten a high score from Consumer Reports, but they break the "everything is good at Costco" mold by tasting peculiar. The innards are not whole chicken pieces or obviously processed -- instead, they contain some sort of hybrid that's too rough tasting to be a McNugget but not flavorful enough to be from Wendy's. The breading gets crispy, even in the microwave, but this requires that each nugget come imbued with too much oil, which seeps through multiple paper towels while cooking. Stick with the Safeway brand chicken strips which are only slightly more expensive but actually taste good.
Final Grade: D
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This is me on my day off with our new Kindle.
Have a great weekend!
iPhone signal strength drops... if touched
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Congratulations to the following winners of this month's Caption Contest!
Sam Edwards will also get a $1 consolation prize, because I left his entry out of the voting pool. Thanks to everyone who participated!
#1: Doobie | #2: Anna | #3: Chris Smith | ||
#4: Annie | #5: BU | #6: Mom | ||
#7: Evil Mike | #8: Groovymarlin | #9: Steve Morton | ||
#10: BU | #11: James | #12: Mom | ||
#13: Anna | #14: Katie Morton | #15: Evil Mike |
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As part of this feature, which I started in 2007, I compose a very brief work (under 30 seconds) inspired by a randomly generated title from an online word generator. The composition can be for any instrumentation, and could even be a purely synthesized realization that might not be possible to perform in the real world.
I work on the excerpt continuously for an hour and then post whatever I've managed to complete, even if it's a poorly constructed slum of a song supported by a foundation of droning double stops and abused tubas.
Fusty: (adj.) Saturated with dust and stale odors; musty
My Composition (0:30 MP3)This excerpt is written for miscellaneous patches, including the jazz scat samples that tend to turn out more creepy than jazzy when I apply them in my music.
Tennessee promoting new moonshine-NASCAR trail
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I've added this month's new photos to my Picasa album. Congratulations on surviving for the first half of 2010 without bankruptcy, kidney failure, or severe disfigurement! May the second half be just as magical.
Trapped drunk driver pops another one
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