Posts Tagged as fragments

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  1. Friday, January 20, 2012:
    Friday Fragments   as the lawyers say, the hilarity is in suing      ⋄ Other than a complete lack of stickable snow, 2012 has been pretty good so far. The weather has impressed no one, least of all Booty, but at least no one I know has been stabbed, shot, or killed in a tragic blimp accident.   ⋄ Unlike most years, my mental year tracker immediately rolled over to 2012, and I have yet to accidentally write 2011 on any checks or documents. However, I can only be good at a small number of things at any given time, so this is balanced out by the fact that I consistently have to think to remember whether I'm 32 or 31.   ⋄ Five years ago in 2007, I was just coming to the end of a three...
  2. Friday, January 06, 2012:
    Friday Fragments   even 2012 needs some fragments      ⋄ Happy New Year! With six days of the new year under my belt, I can now add "living in 2012" on my resumé -- it's at least as much experience as everyone else has, and this is how most people grow their resumés.   ⋄ Our original New Years plans involved a quick trip down to Charlotte to see an old friend of Rebecca's. However, as we were in the middle of packing on Friday morning, Booty decided to make life more extreme with a urinary tract infection. Everything is more extreme with bloody pee.   ⋄ Booty is doing much better now after antibiotics, and we were able to invent alternative New Years plans that kept us closer to h...
  3. Friday, December 02, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   like tiny moles of insubordination, burrowing deep into your brain    ♠ Wasabi is my favourite spicy condiment because it shows up, stays around just long enough to impress, and departs without any lingering spiciness. More things in life should adhere to the wasabi principle (also sometimes called the one-night stand principle), including buffalo wing sauce, Harry Potter movies, and election season.   ♠ We had sushi from Wegmanns on Tuesday night. Comparatively speaking on the "crappy sushi you can eat in the comfort of your own home" scale, Wegmanns sushi is more expensive and has more variety than what you would get at Trader Joe's or Safeway, but lacks the pure economic punch of Costco ...
  4. Friday, November 04, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   the most exciting thing on the way to Baltimore is Scaggsville     function randomChar(string) { var i = Math.floor(Math.random() * string.length); return (string.charAt(i)); } function randomLetterUp() { return (randomChar("ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ")); } function randomLetterDown() { return (randomChar("abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz")); } function randomNumber() { return (randomChar("1234567890")); } function randomPunctuation() { return (randomChar("!?@#$")); } function randomPassword() { return (randomLetterUp() + randomLetterDown() + randomLetterDown() + randomLetterDown() + randomNumber() + randomNumber() + randomPunctuation()); }    ♠ The...
  5. Friday, October 07, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   a beacon of impartial news reporting    ♠ I've been doing more cooking recently to increase my portfolio of low effort meals. Recently, I've made easy cheesy peasy chicken, and pasta with shrimp and diced tomatoes. On Monday night we had Cornish Game Hens, which we garnished with Sodium, Midnight Peppercorns, and pretensions.   ♠ I don't think that the name "Cornish Game Hens" really makes them feel any fancier than they actually are. I'd be just as likely to buy them if they were called "chicken midgets" (but less so as "small children of chicken").     ♠ Speaking of chicken, the Classic Banquet Chicken Dinner now only contains a thigh and no drumstick. Having consume...
  6. Friday, September 09, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   it's like  Roseanne  meets  Firefly      ♠ The flooding is barely noticeable in our direct neighbourhood, although I may have passed Kevin Costner with gills holding up a sign that said, "I told you so!" on the Fairfax County Parkway. Fairfax schools are also closed for the day, and government personnel are allowed to stay home and unexpectedly get work done.   ♠ When I was barreling through my public school education with complete disregard for retention, I never got to get out of school for something unique like a flood or a limnic eruption. The closest to catastrophe we ever came was the ice storm in January 1996 which kept us in the house for 4 days. Although th...
  7. Friday, August 26, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   why you can have nice things     ♠ When the earthquake  struck  knocked politely on my lawn, I was busy in the kitchen installing outlet covers. One variety which covers a dimmer switch and socket next to each other was not available in stores and had to be ordered online -- this type is called a "2-gang 1 rocker 1 duplex" cover, which incidentally sounds like a very good pilot concept for a sitcom in the ghetto.   ♠ Now that the earthquake has finished trending, I'll have to come up with my own original content to milk for website traffic again. Faux catastrophes like a Mineral earthquake are perfect for my  mock mock  tag, which has been woefully underused thi...
  8. Friday, August 19, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   the non-rhyming limerick of life     ♠ I'm 90% certain that this picture of a fat cat on failblog.org is NOT Booty, mainly because of the presence of a cat-door. Logically speaking, installing a cat-door into a real door defeats the purpose of the real door -- when I throw Booty out of a room, I want to ensure that she STAYS out. I suppose putting food in a box with a very small entrance might be a good exercise inducer though.    ♠ Speaking of exercise, I discovered Mike's (of Mike and Chompy) Wii Fit pad while cleaning out the basement and decided to fire it up to see what I've been missing. The device told me I hadn't exercised in over 800 days, which is longer than my marriage...
  9. Friday, August 05, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   the reason your kids are so popular    ♠ You only have two days left to win a $15 Amazon.com gift certificate, in celebration of this site's 15th birthday. As of 10 AM this morning, there were only 6 contestants -- you don't want to lose to the guy that used a <blink> tag OR the guy that tried to use it and failed and then had to edit his post.    ♠ I also took the opportunity to give this page a very minor facelift yesterday -- by the age of 15, it should at least have a pair of hairs or maybe some boobies growing in unexpected areas. I'm trying new fonts as well -- this one may not be the final, but Trebuchet MS is getting stale. On the right, you can find link buttons to the v...
  10. Friday, June 24, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   good times, bad food     ♠ Now that Rebecca has finally seen  Labyrinth , the  Chilly Down  scene is one of her favorite things to watch, after this  Friskies commercial . I remember thinking that the wild gang was really creepy when I was young. I also used to fast-forward through the stupid ballroom dance later in the movie because I felt that it didn't advance the plot, and it detracted from the more important parts with mazes in them.   ♠ Speaking of mazes, the eastbound Dulles Toll Road at 495 is easily the most poorly designed interchange in the area right now. Between the overhead signs that identify five lanes when there are four and the giant "495...
  11. Friday, June 03, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   a tungsten filament of insight     ♠ Last night saw the release of  DDMSence 1.9.1 . This release provides a seamless interface to all of your social networking sites, allowing you to "friend" a Myspace user from Facebook or play Farmville from Linkedin. Actually, I'm kidding. This library has no mainstream crossover appeal at all, not unlike Dennis Kucinich in 2004.   ♠ The next release of DDMSence will be 1.10.0, because in the technology world, periods are separators, not decimals. Perhaps I should start working some planned obsolescence into the numbering scheme with DDMSence 2011, or some immediate obsolescence with DDMSence Vista.      ♠ One ...
  12. Friday, May 06, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   a dramatically fluctuating wavelength of awesome     ♠ Our basement is currently filled to the brim with the detritus of human consumerism, since our Naughty Alder cabinets arrived on Wednesday afternoon and are currently crashing rent-free next to the stainless steel appliances, including a dishwasher which will replace the current anemic appliance which could be more aptly described as a dishdampener. It doesn't actually clean the plates anymore -- it just soaks them thoroughly and heats them to a temperature incapable of aiding in water evaporation.   ♠ On the porch is the new Weber Spirit grill with cast iron cooktop, which replaces the 7-year-old Char Broil special which survived ...
  13. Friday, March 11, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   more razzle, less dazzle    ♠ Our weekend at Brightwood Farm last weekend was a ton of fun. It's a working organic farm, and also has a wooden cottage nestled on a cliff over two merging creeks. We sampled a bunch of farm wines (including a few made from elderberries), and enjoyed the company of sheep, goats, chickens, ducks, donkeys, guinea hens, three giant guard dogs, and a herding dog that knew how to chase chickens back into the coop without eating any. We will definitely return!   ♠ While driving out into the countryside, we learned that the Nissan Pavilion is now named the Jiffy Lube Live Pavilion (and has been for at least a year). I'm not saying that the old name was any better for ...
  14. Friday, February 25, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   one month closer to John Cusack on a giant boat at the end of times      ♠ I recently read an article in the Post about the pervasiveness of red light cameras around the region. Personally, I don't have any problems with properly calibrated red light cameras, because people who run the light long after it has changed are pretty douchey by their nature.   ♠ Of more pressing concern in my book are speed cameras. Speeding is a very green offense, because it reduces the number of cars on the road at any given time, increases productivity while decreasing travel time, and breaks up those viscious slow-moving pockets of drivers that threaten the throughput of roads. Plus, when you have a spee...
  15. Friday, January 07, 2011:
    Friday Fragments   antidisestablished in 1983    ♠ Happy New Year! We've got one full week down in 2011, but there's still no sign of flying cars or people on Mars. Obviously, pop culture movies are not a good foreteller of the future. Thinking back to 1997, I don't believe that Skynet was anywhere near sentient, although I may have seen a few Eliza clones in one of the chatrooms I used to frequent.    ♠ Since I knew the original  Terminator 2  movie by heart, it was a little jarring to watch to special edition with about 20 minutes of extra footage recently. For the most part, the additions actually improved the final picture, although the beginning dragged a little too much.   ϖ...
  16. Friday, December 10, 2010:
    Friday Fragments   independent, ignoble, and illegitimate    ♠ Yesterday afternoon, I finally got around to putting up our Christmas lights -- just three months late according to the definitive calendar of Costco. Unfortunately, we're down to a single strand of my classic non-Christmas-coloured lighting, which barely wraps around the edge of the porch. The display is so anemic that it merely looks like my house is attending a very staid rave, rather than bombastically celebrating the coming of Santa and/or Jesus.   ♠ I am no longer big on giving or receiving gifts at Christmastime, probably because we were overloaded on complete collections of He-Men and Legos as kids. However, if you feel slighted that you h...
  17. Friday, December 03, 2010:
    Friday Fragments   official sponsor of official sponsorship      ♠ While driving through Seven Corners on the way home from DISA on Wednesday, I realized how much of my childhood geography was defined by the locations of game stores. My preteen topography was bound by the Software Etc at Seven Corners Mall (where we bought Zork I), the Babbages at Springfield Mall, the Egghead Software on Route 7, and the Lionel Kiddie City on Little River Turnpike. If there was a chance to earnestly scan a game until my parents got the hint and bought it, I probably knew the way to get there, even at age 9.   ♠ The other night, I was in the local Gamestop in search of an alternative to the many hours I waste playing Min...
  18. Friday, November 19, 2010:
    Friday Fragments   better Nate than lever    ♠ The diligent readers with incredibly little to do at their jobs have probably noticed that the daily update has slipped later and later in the day since midweek. This is not a trend I intend to embrace -- it's just been one of those weeks where I'm filled with brilliantly brilliant ideas to write about during the day, and then zero motivation to prepare an update when I get home at night. This should improve next week, as the holidays approach. You may even get to see one of those near extinct post-types: the Newsday Tuesday.   ♠ When not avoiding the duties of updating this web page like a grandfather without Ex-lax or Metamucil, I've been releasing a new patch f...
  19. Friday, October 15, 2010:
    Friday Fragments   how is this month half over already?     ♠ I've been walking all sorts of miles every day for my company's fitness drive, but there's no tangible proof (not unlike the moon landings) since I seem to have lost my pedometer in New Hampshire.   ♠ The handstand picture on the right shows the first time it wriggled its way off my belt, after which I somehow managed to find it again on the way back down Piper Mountain. Between there and Dulles Airport, it went missing yet again, probably because exercise is for losers and this point needed to be driven home with a mystical sign.   ♠ It's interesting how easily mystical signs can be confused for coincidence. For example, it h...
  20. Friday, October 01, 2010:
    First Anniversary Weekend    Happy Anniversary to my delightful wife! On Sunday the 3rd, we get to eat some more of Anna's mom's delicious cake. 
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