Posts Tagged as offspring

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  1. Friday, September 07, 2018:
    Maia Month #14 Battle Report    Maia is now 14 months old but still has not breached the 20 pounder glass ceiling. She is still cruising but not walking and has no problem going up and down stairs with minimal chance of self-inflicted falls. Her new favourite mode is "cranky", where the power of her ideas and wants and needs are muted by her inability to communicate in Shakespearean language resulting in the most annoying sound in history, the whine.   Maia is very good at mimicking now (she'll probably be a booby-trapped Dungeons and Dragons chest for Halloween) and will try to recreate the things you do around her. The other day, I peeked in on her solo nursery time to find her waving the window drape sashes against the drapes, because that'...
  2. Friday, August 03, 2018:
    Maia Month #13 Battle Report    Maia is mere days away from being 13 months old, although she still weighs just under 20 pounds and can fit in many onesies in the 6-9 month range. She's had a pretty weird sleep schedule the past week or so, and sometimes will only sleep for about 90 minutes in a single nap midday (and 10 - 11 hours straight through the night). When awake, she's crawling everywhere and recently figured out how to get up into the rocking chair using her side-saddle leg methodology.   Maia is very opinionated now, quick to get frustrated if she isn't getting what she wants (Cheerios) or we take her away from a dangerous situation (picking her up when she keeps trying to crawl into the street at the park). She still isn't speaking...
  3. Monday, July 23, 2018:
    Extra Baby Picture Day   For everyone who wants more baby pictures.      The last hurrah for the YAY balloon, which held shape for over a year before starting to melt down the wall like a Dali painting.     Maia is used to the Tallest Grandpa now and doesn't cry when he enters the room.     An afternoon walk along Holmes Run in Alexandria.     Maia excels at following directions. 
  4. Wednesday, July 18, 2018:
    Data Day: Maia's First Year     Milestones       Social Smiling : 2 months    Foot Grabbing : 3 months    First Laughs : 3 months    First Solid Food : 4.5 months    Sitting Up : 5.5 months    Clapping : 6 months    First Airplane Flight : 8.5 months    First Teeth : 8.5 months    Crawling : 9 months    Drinking Through a Straw : 9.5 months    Cruising : 10 months    First Word In Context ("Dada") : 10.5 months    Upwards Stair Mobility : 11 months    &nbs...
  5. Friday, July 06, 2018:
    Maia Day        
  6. Friday, June 08, 2018:
    Maia Week #48 Battle Report    Maia is now 11.0466 months old and reaching the end of the phase where everything is rigorously documented -- the next Battle Report will liking come out in 2035 and cover her angst in choosing between Virginia Tech and an out of state school because all of the other in-state schools will no longer exist due to inferiority. Maia still weighs in the 16 - 17 pound range and crawls all over the place. She can clamber onto platforms less than a foot off the ground and then use that perch to get elsewhere higher, but cannot yet go up stairs on her own. She has one more front tooth growing in from above now for a grand total of 3. Like her father, she is already adept at accidentally biting her lip between these teeth.  &n...
  7. Monday, June 04, 2018:
    List Day: Changes in Habits   .space { padding: 5px; }           Pre-Maia   Post-Maia       Bedtime    10:30 PM weekdays, 11:00 PM weekends   10:30 PM every day       Wake-up Time    5:00 AM weekdays, 6:30 AM weekends   6:30 AM every day except in-office day (5:20 AM)       Exercise    1.5 - 3 hours of jogging per week   0 hours of jogging per week       TV Watching    1 - 4 hours per day   0 - 1 hours per day       Gaming    2 - 5 hours pe...
  8. Friday, May 11, 2018:
    Maia Week #44 Battle Report    Maia is now 10.126 months old and still right around 16 pounds. We need to fatten her up soon as her preferred brand and size of diapers just doubled in price while the next size up remains the same (no doubt some strange Amazon algorithm that has deduced we have a never-growing baby). The photo blocks we bought only have one "4" on the 12 faces, which is why there is a Pinterest-quality 4 added to one of the blocks.   Maia is rapidly accumulating new skills along an exponential curve, to the point where we started a list on the whiteboard to capture anything new. She plays the game where she'll hand you something and then expect it back, although she's something of an Indian giver half the time. She also turn...
  9. Friday, April 20, 2018:
    Maia Week #41 Battle Report    Maia is 9.43561 months old and oscillating around the 16 - 17 pound range depending on the distance between the Earth and the Moon. She is an adept crawler now, capable of closing the distance between rooms fast enough that I no longer bother picking her up when I move to another room myself -- she'll be by at her leisure. Everything tippable has been bolted to the wall now, so each room has about a 2:30 minute buffer where I'm comfortable turning away momentarily without the fear that the house will explode in my neglect.   Maia can also get back into a sitting position after crawling now, which is super cute but also makes naps take longer to begin. The crib has transformed from a place where there isn't much ...
  10. Friday, April 06, 2018:
    Maia Week #39 Battle Report    Maia has made it to 9 months on the dot, so she's been out almost as long as she was in. Over the past two weeks, she has perfected her army crawl which is mainly an elbow-based method of mobility. She can also open bottom drawers and pull herself up on them (though she can't get herself from a crawl to a sitting position yet). Lastly, she makes clicking sounds with her tongue constantly like she's learning a tribal language.   To stay one step ahead of her, the house has slowly been baby-proofed. Outlet covers have been on since Ella came over to visit in 2007 so that was a no-brainer. The stair gate went up in early March and strategic barricades have been erected between her and various power strips or oily t...
  11. Monday, April 02, 2018:
    Violet Day  Maia has a stuffed animal that sings different songs when you press its paw. The repertoire is a mix of nursery rhymes as well as some brilliantly composed original music that was clearly not written by any guilded composer:      Apparently the creator of this song couldn't think of a final line to the song and allowed it to sway gently to completion with MIDI flutes. As if that weren't bad enough, the Morning Song is part I of a three part opus:      Why are the birds singing to the afternoon? Why is the MIDI accompaniment devolving into Ives-meets-Skrillex-like drum machine chaos? Don't think about it too hard because EVENING IS COMING:      Though Violet ...
  12. Monday, March 26, 2018:
    Happiness: It Is Known   
  13. Friday, March 23, 2018:
    Maia Week #37 Battle Report    It has been an eternity since the last battle report at Week #32, and Maia is now 8.515 months old. She finally broke the 16 pound threshold but is not so close to the 18 pound line that we have to worry about her quickly outgrowing her bulk box of Size 2 diapers or reporting her to the local fishing warden.   Much has changed in the intervening month. She started shrieking again back in Week #33, but thankfully that was very short-lived. In Week #34, she caught the gross sickness that both of her parents had suffered through, to the point where her voice sounded like an answering machine message from the 80s and she oozed phlegm all over her crib like a confused snail. This sickness cleared up just in time fo...
  14. Friday, February 16, 2018:
    Maia Week #32 Battle Report    Maia is 7.36438 months old and 16.4 pounds wide. Mobility-wise, she is on a roll like Evan Jones, but rarely finds the reason or impetus to go anywhere. There's still no crawling or swim-like motions yet but she looks pleased when I make her stand up and lie to her face that she's standing all by herself. She also rolls in her crib, and took her first nap on her stomach on February 1, clearly not familiar with the modern guidelines on how babies should sleep.   Naps in general remain the sticking point in her otherwise pleasant routine. The typical day now looks something like this:     Wake for boobs around 8:30 AM.   Get put down for a nap at 12:00 PM but usually just cry through ...
  15. Wednesday, February 07, 2018:
    Mobility Day  On Monday night, Maia mastered the "rolling pin" approach to navigating the world.     By 8:46 PM, she was under the coffee table. 
  16. Monday, January 29, 2018:
    List Day: 10 Ways We Have Greeted Our Small Human    Maia Papaya    L.G. (for "Little Girl" if you're Rebecca or "Lil' Gangsta'" if you're me)    Maiawatha    Cuteness Everdeen    Oscar Maia    Nugget / Nugnug    Mai Mai    Hermaiaknee    It's-a me-a, Maia!    Maia Christmas      Also,  this  will be Maia's theme song in future home videos.   
  17. Friday, January 26, 2018:
    Maia Week #29 Battle Report    Maia is now 6.67397 months old and an average of 15.4 pounds. Meanwhile, her dad is 38.361644 years old and 130 pounds and not nearly as crowd-pleasing. Maia continues to be a generally happy baby with an easy-to-elicit smile, and it's almost impossible to get a candid shot of her where she's not noticing the camera. This should satisfy my dad, who hates candid shots and trained all of my sister's kids to look at the camera on command by the age of 3.   Individual days are getting easier now as Maia can sit and self-play for longer than before, and we have a larger variety of settings and activities to rotate through between naps. We've also started doing a one hour enforced nap around lunchtime in addition to...
  18. Friday, January 05, 2018:
    Maia Week #26 Battle Report    Maia has finally reached the 6 month milestone, which is probably the point at which I should stop measuring her age in weeks and start using a more common metric like fortnights or eons. The two weeks since the last battle report have been holiday-centric and fairly disruptive, so there haven't been many crazy developmental milestones. She rolled over four successive times (only to the left) one day, then never wanted to do that again.   She can also say "em" which is clearly the 13th letter of the alphabet, and she can string this into multi-syllabic SAT words like "emememem" and "emememememememem". Surely, "Eminem" and "M&M" are not far off. Yesterday, I taught her how to use our touch lamps which blew her ...
  19. Friday, December 22, 2017:
    Maia Week #24 Battle Report    Maia is now 24 weeks old, 15 pounds heavy, and 1000 IQ smart. She has progressed quickly in the sitting department, going from your basic tripod pose a couple days ago to being able to sit up independently just yesterday. We have two loaner cats visiting us this week, and their antics have given Maia some extra incentive to sit up.   Life has progressed pretty normally since the Week 21 report -- the main difference is that we do our daily nature walks in the Dulles Town Center whenever the outdoor temperature drops below the 40s. There are fewer wildlife options in the mall but more chances for daddy fries from the food court.   We're staying local for the holidays and I'm off work for a couple wee...
  20. Monday, December 11, 2017:
    Songs of the Enrichment Jungle, Volume III  This next batch of songs does not revolve around characters in the Enrichment Jungle, but they'll be included in the same anthology when it goes to print.      The Nap Song : This is the song I used to regularly hum to Maia to get her to nap in the joey pouch while walking around the basement. When you get to the end, you repeat it ad nauseum. Most of the notes are staccato so you can hum it while out of breath on the nature park hill. She has since transitioned to 70s funk jazz as a soporific, but this still gets hummed occasionally.      Poop Bike : This is the song I use when Maia is working on her outputs. In measures 1 - 3 and 5 - 6, you should be gyrating the baby's l...
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