Posts Tagged as offspring
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- Friday, May 11, 2018:
Maia Week #44 Battle Report
Maia is now 10.126 months old and still right around 16 pounds. We need to fatten her up soon as her preferred brand and size of diapers just doubled in price while the next size up remains the same (no doubt some strange Amazon algorithm that has deduced we have a never-growing baby). The photo blocks we bought only have one "4" on the 12 faces, which is why there is a Pinterest-quality 4 added to one of the blocks.
Maia is rapidly accumulating new skills along an exponential curve, to the point where we started a list on the whiteboard to capture anything new. She plays the game where she'll hand you something and then expect it back, although she's something of an Indian giver half the time. She also turn...
- Friday, April 20, 2018:
Maia Week #41 Battle Report
Maia is 9.43561 months old and oscillating around the 16 - 17 pound range depending on the distance between the Earth and the Moon. She is an adept crawler now, capable of closing the distance between rooms fast enough that I no longer bother picking her up when I move to another room myself -- she'll be by at her leisure. Everything tippable has been bolted to the wall now, so each room has about a 2:30 minute buffer where I'm comfortable turning away momentarily without the fear that the house will explode in my neglect.
Maia can also get back into a sitting position after crawling now, which is super cute but also makes naps take longer to begin. The crib has transformed from a place where there isn't much ...
- Friday, April 06, 2018:
Maia Week #39 Battle Report
Maia has made it to 9 months on the dot, so she's been out almost as long as she was in. Over the past two weeks, she has perfected her army crawl which is mainly an elbow-based method of mobility. She can also open bottom drawers and pull herself up on them (though she can't get herself from a crawl to a sitting position yet). Lastly, she makes clicking sounds with her tongue constantly like she's learning a tribal language.
To stay one step ahead of her, the house has slowly been baby-proofed. Outlet covers have been on since Ella came over to visit in 2007 so that was a no-brainer. The stair gate went up in early March and strategic barricades have been erected between her and various power strips or oily t...
- Monday, April 02, 2018:
Maia has a stuffed animal that sings different songs when you press its paw. The repertoire is a mix of nursery rhymes as well as some brilliantly composed original music that was clearly not written by any guilded composer:
Apparently the creator of this song couldn't think of a final line to the song and allowed it to sway gently to completion with MIDI flutes. As if that weren't bad enough, the Morning Song is part I of a three part opus:
Why are the birds singing to the afternoon? Why is the MIDI accompaniment devolving into Ives-meets-Skrillex-like drum machine chaos? Don't think about it too hard because EVENING IS COMING:
Though Violet ...
- Monday, March 26, 2018:
Happiness: It Is Known
- Friday, March 23, 2018:
Maia Week #37 Battle Report
It has been an eternity since the last battle report at Week #32, and Maia is now 8.515 months old. She finally broke the 16 pound threshold but is not so close to the 18 pound line that we have to worry about her quickly outgrowing her bulk box of Size 2 diapers or reporting her to the local fishing warden.
Much has changed in the intervening month. She started shrieking again back in Week #33, but thankfully that was very short-lived. In Week #34, she caught the gross sickness that both of her parents had suffered through, to the point where her voice sounded like an answering machine message from the 80s and she oozed phlegm all over her crib like a confused snail. This sickness cleared up just in time fo...
- Friday, February 16, 2018:
Maia Week #32 Battle Report
Maia is 7.36438 months old and 16.4 pounds wide. Mobility-wise, she is on a roll like Evan Jones, but rarely finds the reason or impetus to go anywhere. There's still no crawling or swim-like motions yet but she looks pleased when I make her stand up and lie to her face that she's standing all by herself. She also rolls in her crib, and took her first nap on her stomach on February 1, clearly not familiar with the modern guidelines on how babies should sleep.
Naps in general remain the sticking point in her otherwise pleasant routine. The typical day now looks something like this:
Wake for boobs around 8:30 AM.
Get put down for a nap at 12:00 PM but usually just cry through ...
- Wednesday, February 07, 2018:
On Monday night, Maia mastered the "rolling pin" approach to navigating the world.
By 8:46 PM, she was under the coffee table.
- Monday, January 29, 2018:
List Day: 10 Ways We Have Greeted Our Small Human
L.G. (for "Little Girl" if you're Rebecca or "Lil' Gangsta'" if you're me)
Nugget / Nugnug
It's-a me-a, Maia!
Also, this will be Maia's theme song in future home videos.
- Friday, January 26, 2018:
Maia Week #29 Battle Report
Maia is now 6.67397 months old and an average of 15.4 pounds. Meanwhile, her dad is 38.361644 years old and 130 pounds and not nearly as crowd-pleasing. Maia continues to be a generally happy baby with an easy-to-elicit smile, and it's almost impossible to get a candid shot of her where she's not noticing the camera. This should satisfy my dad, who hates candid shots and trained all of my sister's kids to look at the camera on command by the age of 3.
Individual days are getting easier now as Maia can sit and self-play for longer than before, and we have a larger variety of settings and activities to rotate through between naps. We've also started doing a one hour enforced nap around lunchtime in addition to...
- Friday, January 05, 2018:
Maia Week #26 Battle Report
Maia has finally reached the 6 month milestone, which is probably the point at which I should stop measuring her age in weeks and start using a more common metric like fortnights or eons. The two weeks since the last battle report have been holiday-centric and fairly disruptive, so there haven't been many crazy developmental milestones. She rolled over four successive times (only to the left) one day, then never wanted to do that again.
She can also say "em" which is clearly the 13th letter of the alphabet, and she can string this into multi-syllabic SAT words like "emememem" and "emememememememem". Surely, "Eminem" and "M&M" are not far off. Yesterday, I taught her how to use our touch lamps which blew her ...
- Friday, December 22, 2017:
Maia Week #24 Battle Report
Maia is now 24 weeks old, 15 pounds heavy, and 1000 IQ smart. She has progressed quickly in the sitting department, going from your basic tripod pose a couple days ago to being able to sit up independently just yesterday. We have two loaner cats visiting us this week, and their antics have given Maia some extra incentive to sit up.
Life has progressed pretty normally since the Week 21 report -- the main difference is that we do our daily nature walks in the Dulles Town Center whenever the outdoor temperature drops below the 40s. There are fewer wildlife options in the mall but more chances for daddy fries from the food court.
We're staying local for the holidays and I'm off work for a couple wee...
- Monday, December 11, 2017:
Songs of the Enrichment Jungle, Volume III
This next batch of songs does not revolve around characters in the Enrichment Jungle, but they'll be included in the same anthology when it goes to print.
The Nap Song : This is the song I used to regularly hum to Maia to get her to nap in the joey pouch while walking around the basement. When you get to the end, you repeat it ad nauseum. Most of the notes are staccato so you can hum it while out of breath on the nature park hill. She has since transitioned to 70s funk jazz as a soporific, but this still gets hummed occasionally.
Poop Bike : This is the song I use when Maia is working on her outputs. In measures 1 - 3 and 5 - 6, you should be gyrating the baby's l...
- Monday, December 04, 2017:
Songs of the Enrichment Jungle, Volume II
The songs in this volume are about Mr. Lion, Orange Squirrel, and Boring Felt Owl. Orange Squirrel was written by Rebecca.
Other Posts in This Series: Volume I | Volume II | Volume III
- Friday, December 01, 2017:
Maia Week #21 Battle Report
Maia is now 21 weeks old, which is the legal age for gambling in our household. Weighing in at 14.2 pounds, she can escape from tummy time through a sideways roll whenever she feels like it, but cannot roll onto her stomach yet. Her schedule has solidified to a 9 hour nighttime and an extended daytime with staggered 30 minute naps throughout. They're really not long enough to do anything productive in, so I squander the time as best as I possibly can.
We continue to give her solid foods in addition to boob milk, and she greatly prefers salted lentils to avocado. Aware that there are different tastes in the world now, she watches us eat with more clinical interest and yearns for the day she can eat sour cream...
- Friday, November 17, 2017:
Maia Week #19 Battle Report
Maia is now 19 weeks old and quite a different baby from last week. In the baby biz, there is a concept called a "wonder week" which is where the baby is precociously fussy and you "wonder" why you had it. This is supposed to last a few days at every developmental milestone, followed by the opening up of a broad array of new skills. Maia's week 17 wonder week lasted about 3 weeks, starting around week 16, confusing the straight line of time more than an episode of LOST. The Daylight Savings Time change had minimal effect on her, but her round of 4 month vaccines exacerbated the grumpiness like wet sand in your swim trunks.
Since last weekend, however, it has all changed. Maia now goes to bed around 10 - 11 P...
- Friday, November 03, 2017:
Maia Week #17 Battle Report
Maia turned 17 weeks old yesterday, which is in that limbo spot between 3 and 4 months of age that's not quite either one. She cannot roll over yet, but is able to roll on her side and contort her neck back so her head can look at things "above" her -- her body resembles the boot of Italy in this position. She also believes in quality over quantity, saving up her poops for one massive release party per day, usually in the early evening.
Maia also giggles, which is very cute, and has learned to make noisy shrieks, which is not so cute. She often sounds like that old Internet animation of the hamster riding a motorcycle, but with more piercing timbres.
Naps are still 30-minute affairs, almost to...
- Friday, October 20, 2017:
Maia Week #15 Battle Report
Maia is now 15 weeks old, having finally crossed the 13 pound line and once again entered a competitive quartile in the American Ninja Fattening competition. She has discovered her feet and excels at tummy time, consistently holding her head up for longer than an alcoholic hobo on his 12th Steel Reserve.
She still only naps for 30 minutes at a time during the day, but this is counterbalanced by 10 to 11 hour night stretches where she only wakes up once to feed (our longest record night went from midnight to 11:30 AM with a 45 minute feed in the middle). Since it can take up to 45 minutes to get her to nap, it's usually much easier and more efficient to just pop her into the front kangaroo pouch and dance to Fu...
- Friday, October 06, 2017:
Maia Week #13 Battle Report
Maia is now 13 weeks old (or 3 months if you prefer to measure time in glaringly uneven increments instead). She is now great at grabbing things and cooing as a form of communication, and loves our near-daily walks in Claude Moore Park. Her weight still goes up and down around 12 pounds as we had a few days where she wasn't particularly interested in eating stuff. We suspect that she will end up being a slow eater in the future, based on her average time at the spigot now.
Maia continues to be a very agreeable baby in most regards. The hardest and worst part of parenting right now is putting her to bed during the day. She usually hates to go down for a nap unless it's a short catnap in a front carrier that jus...
- Monday, September 25, 2017:
Songs of the Enrichment Jungle, Volume I
These are the songs I sing about Maia's favourite buddies in her Enrichment Jungle. The eighth notes should clearly be performed in a swing style, because I'm not some kind of heathen.
Volume II will cover the supporting cast, such as the Orange Nut Squirrel, the Boring Felt Owl, and the Monkey Lip Apple.
Other Posts in This Series: Volume I | Volume II | Volume III