Posts Tagged as offspring
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- Monday, September 07, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 3 Month 2
By week and by month seem like too short of a period to keep writing these Battle Reports, but I feel like I should check in occasionally to make sure that the miscellaneous quirks of our daughter are not forgotten.
Maia is now 2 months beyond the age of 3, has reached the age where she clearly has a short-term and long-term memory and is mostly capable of communicating with us. On Friday, she reminded Rebecca to bring cash in the car because the apple-picking farm didn't accept credit cards. She finds it easy to express herself, repeating stock phrases like "I'm so excited!" that she's heard elsewhere. She'll also say, "I love you too!" if you start.
Maia still loves dresses. We've moved all of...
- Wednesday, August 19, 2020:
Maia's First Stories
Here are two works of art created by Maia and Rebecca, along with stories that Maia dictated about them to Rebecca.
There are dolphins at the beach. Maia, Mommy, and Daddy are looking out at the ocean. The sand is dry.
Here are the bunnies looking out at the purple ocean. There is a big purple wave coming! Some of the sand fell on the bunny's head. The bunny got a sunburn. There is a rain cloud. But the bunnies have an umbrella! The Big Umbrella! It's hard when you're tall, because when the bunnies grow tall, they don't quite fit under the umbrella. The End.
- Monday, July 06, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 3
Maia is three years old today! She's 34.5" tall and weighs 27.4 pounds, the lowest possible values in the ranges for average growth.
Due to COVID, she had two separate birthday parties, one for each set of grandparents. She's very aware of age this year and has talked about being 2 and turning 3 for weeks. She expresses excitement by proclaiming, "I so excited!" and then running down the hall and back for no apparent reason. She's also looking forward to our upcoming beach trip where she will "sleep in the top bunk and the bottom bunk".
We finally showed her Frozen 2 and she had a rudimentary grasp of the plot without explaining (other than the endless sequences of nature fairies fly...
- Monday, June 08, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 11
Maia is now just 1 month away from being 3 years old. Weighing in at 27 pounds and standing 33" tall, she's still comfortably fitting into her two-year-old clothes.
She has a huge vocabulary and understands moderately complex concepts (last month she saw a spider web and asked, "What do spiders use to make the webs?") but still does not pronounce the 2nd consonant in a pair of consonants (we often mishear "cows" vs. "clouds"). She's said a few clever things so far, but nothing worth retelling (the setup would be longer than the punchline in each case). After a recent trip to the forest, she remembered something she had seen and her face lit up as she said, "WE SAW SOME DEER!" -- she acted more like a kindergar...
- Wednesday, May 06, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 10
Maia is just 2 months away from turning 3. Quarantine life has been challenging -- Maia understands that something is different in our routines and misses her friends, but doesn't really have the context to express this properly. She's tired of hanging out with just the two of us all the time, but we still have a lot of fun with few tantrums. It would probably be much harder if she were a little older and had more memory of what going to school every day was like.
Maia still loves bunnies and requires Original Bunny around to "dry my tears" whenever she has cried. Most games involve bunnies in some way, from building houses / dance studios / coffee shops for bunnies to dressing up the bunnies in her clothes....
- Monday, April 06, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 9
Maia is now 26.8 pounds and about 34" tall. This month, she gained the ability to use the toilet for all waste management needs and now wears underpants all day long instead of diapers. (With coronavirus keeping us at home, we figured now was a great time to practice, and she had it down pat after just a single day).
Self-quarantine has made this month very different for Maia. Just For 2s school is cancelled and she hasn't seen her best friend, Nolan, in over 3 weeks (other than a video chat). She seems to get that things have changed in some way but has no opinion one way or the other. The answers to her usual morning questions of "what day is it today?" and "what are we doing today?" have normali...
- Friday, March 06, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 8
Maia is now 32 months old and 26.6 pounds of joie de vivre. She regularly talks about herself as if she is the Original Bunny that she carries everywhere, like "Bunny wants to go to the payground". If Maia doesn't want to eat vegetables, sometimes Bunny does , providing a useful loophole in the logic. Bunnies are her obsession, and I have drawn far more bunnies in the past three months than anyone should.
Maia understands cycles like days of the week and the sun and the moon. She likes to consider things in order and regularly asks what comes "after" whatever I just said. She is in the "what" phase of annoying questions which sometimes feels like she wants to ask "why" but doesn't know any of the ot...
- Friday, February 07, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 7
Maia is another month older and wiser. She talks all the time and invents brand new sentences based on established concepts.
"We ever been here before, daddy?" - said when we go somewhere that we haven't been to in awhile.
"Don't say that, daddy!" - said when she doesn't like the song I'm inventing or I'm saying something that isn't true. She uses conjunctions like "don't" when talking to others but consistently uses "do not" when expressing her own thoughts and opinions.
"Maybeeee..." - said when she knows that there are multiple options to answer a questsion but expects you to list the options before she makes a decision.
"This is a bunk house!" - said when I ad...
- Monday, January 06, 2020:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 6
Maia has made it halfway to 5! She's 25.4 pounds, 33" tall, and speaks in full sentences most of the time. She has mostly reformed since the cataclysm of Daylight Savings Time, but still refuses to nap (opting for 2 hours of "quiet time" instead). Full-fledged tantrums are a rarity now, or maybe we're just much better at redirection.
Maia's favorite toys at the moment are a Vet Clinic she got for Christmas from the grandparents (superceding the Original Vet Clinic from her 2nd birthday), a necklace kit filled with rubber Disney princesses, and a never-ending array of new and hand-me-down 12-piece puzzles which she can do on her own as long as the pieces snap together cleanly. She will offer us things (like bit...
- Friday, December 06, 2019:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 5
Maia's November was a dramatic acceleration in development, kickstarted by the evil of Daylights Savings Time. She initiated a successful visit to the toilet even though we're not actively doing anything to teach that yet. She managed to climb out of her crib on the 16th, and then opened the nursery door on her own on the 21st. I had to install one of those plastic doorknob condoms that irritate adults more than kids. Now during naps when she doesn't feel like sleeping, she'll just knock on the door saying things like "Trick or Treat!" and "Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? Come get me."
"This one says...": What Maia says when she wants you to read something, like a panel in a comic strip or a page in a book...
- Wednesday, December 04, 2019:
BU: "Look, Maia, I drew you a cow."
Maia: "I gonna draw his poop."
- Wednesday, November 06, 2019:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 4
Maia is now 2 and 1/3 years old, somewhere around 33" tall, and about 24 pounds. Her favourite part of last month was the build-up to Halloween and her Sister Bear costume. We discovered that she had gained an instinctual fear to realistic decorations like creepy humanoids or giant spiders, as she wouldn't enter the Halloween costume store without being carried. This is also where she started giving us big, tight hugs -- sometimes now, she initiates big hugs unprovoked while lazing around the house.
Maia likes the new variety of clothes she can wear now that the weather is changing, and we spend a great deal more time outside. She's a climber at the playground, able to go up ladders without consideri...
- Monday, October 21, 2019:
Stream of Consciousness Day
an accurate transcript of the things Maia says to herself as she falls asleep
*door closes* My eyes get better. My eyes get better. My eyes get better. My eyes got better. My eyes get better. My eyes get better. My eyes get better. Sap. Shoot. One dalbation. My eyes got better. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to dog. Happy Birthday to Bunny. Happy Birthday to K'nuffle Bunny. Wall. Walk. I got present. Hingy ing ging. Woom woom. Happy Birthday to you. Nolan is gonna drive! Drive! Happy Birthday to Nolan. Happy Birthday to Nolan. Tickle tickle! Happy Birthday to Bunny. Shoop shoop shoop.
*picks up book, 101 Dalmations ...
- Wednesday, October 16, 2019:
Proof of Genius Day
In the early months when Maia started growing attached to a particular bedtime bunny, I wisely purchased a second one online as insurance in case we accidentally left a bunny somewhere or it had a catastrophic encounter with a campfire. Since then, backup bunny has also functioned as a nice way to throw one bunny into the laundry and seamlessly replace it with Maia none the wiser.
Unfortunately, the backup bunny is not an exact match with the original. On our most recent sleight-of-hand attempt (over a year later), Maia noted, "Bunny opened his eyes!" It's a good thing she still loves both.
- Monday, October 07, 2019:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 3
Maia has grown about an inch since her 2nd birthday and is now solidly over 23 pounds. She is learning about the days of the week and starting to recognize letters and numbers in isolation. She still counts "1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10", but I prefer to think that she's just experimenting with exponents in some advanced way. She's starting to gain spatial awareness too -- when I told her we were going to drive to the grocery store, she said, "We gonna pass Maia's school!". She recognizes the outside of restaurants without prompting, based on the type of cartoon cup her milk comes in. "WE AT THE VEE! I GONNA GET DINOSAUR CUP."
"Just for 2s" school is going well: Maia has made art representing A for Ant and B for Bird,...
- Wednesday, September 04, 2019:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 2
Maia is still alive, hovering near 23 pounds and 33". We've started a height wall in our hallway where we can mark her height at different intervals, protected by a thin layer of clear gloss for the day when she inevitably starts drawing all over it like I did in my childhood.
She speaks in surprisingly complete sentences, except when she gets too exciting about desiring something and babbles "IwantIwantIwantIwant!" without ever telling us what she wants. I have been keeping track of her sentence lengths, and 5-6 words is about average. She's never said a 7 word sentence, but her first 8 word sentence was the appropriate and truthful, "I got a big poop in my pants!". It was the size of a small peach.
- Wednesday, August 07, 2019:
Maia Battle Report: Year 2 Month 1
Maia is still alive!
She enjoys wearing dresses and dancing for delicious foods like mac and cheese or pancakes. She has started embracing pretending games, and will utilize each tool in her animal clinic toy set appropriately ("Maia works at animal clinic. Mommy works at people clinic"). One day, we must have spent 20 minutes pretending to be asleep in bed then waking up.
While packing for our trip to Pennsylvania, she pulled Rebecca's rolling suitcase and said "Just like bunny", in reference to a cartoon of a bunny pulling a suitcase for a vacation, a card that had been out of sight for at least 3 weeks. She also knows all sorts of trivia ("Amber is a calico", "Daddy drives fast", and "Daddy...
- Monday, July 08, 2019:
Maia Year 2 Battle Report
We've made it two whole years!
Maia is now 32" tall and 22.4 pounds (she was carrying her favourite bunny when she stepped on the scale, but also had a helium balloon, so it probably balances out). This past month, she has balanced on the razor edge of constant whining, just as likely to teeter left into giggles or right into tantrums. Everything important (like brushing teeth) still gets done, but takes 30% longer with the added rounds of "no no no!" and the fleeing and the stalling.
Her favourite things this month have included little backpacks, dresses, sandals, splashpads, and riding in the grocery store cart. She enjoys helping Rebecca water plants outdoors and ate her first homeg...
- Friday, June 07, 2019:
Maia Month #23 Battle Report
Maia is almost 2! A couple weeks ago, she weighed 21.8 pounds though she feels much heavier when she goes sack-of-potatoes on my arm. She enjoys assisting with our routine, from putting away the clean dishes to watering the plants outside with her own personal watering can.
Her brain continues to word associate -- when I pointed at a bench, she mentioned the statue of frogs sitting on a bench drinking coffee at the grandparents' house. When I said Rebecca was tall, Maia said "long neck giraffe". She also likes to remind us to finish unfinished tasks or rectify unresolved situations by saying things like "shoes off", "put shirt on", "close gate", "put back". Other recent likes include riding on my shoulders, ...
- Monday, June 03, 2019:
List Day: 4 Major Adjustments Since Having A Kid
Massive uptick in having to drive while other people are on the road : After years of traveling everywhere at 5 AM to avoid society, Maia's naps now take me into the thick of congestion. I now embrace what I once referred to as a " Tax on the Entitled Class and People Too Lazy to Wake Up Early Like the Rest of Us " when driving Maia to her grandparents' house. $20 to skip 20 minutes in a 2-mile traffic jam with a toddler in the back? Yes, please.
Greatly reduced tolerance for movies and TV shows that are a "slow burn" : Every minute of my time where I'm not actively parenting is precious. I'm much more likely to turn off a plot going nowhere fast, a show with 20 ...