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- Wednesday, January 16, 2019:
List Day: 8 Reasons Why Google Photos Sucks
I've used Google Photos for photo storage ever since they bought and gradually crushed Picasa. It's no surprise that Google continues to single out useful pieces of software to axe once they're bored of them -- I don't recall where I read it, but I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment that the Google company is like a Montessouri school full of software engineers run amok.
While I regularly say that Google Photos sucks, I've never actually itemized the reasons why.
Google bills it as a drop-in replacement for Picasa, which was a solution for organizing photos, performing minor edits, and sharing them in albums. It's actually a photo backup service, intended for synchronizing bulk co...
- Wednesday, January 02, 2019:
List Day: 2019 Resolutions
Develop an artificial intelligence algorithm that gradually becomes aware it is existing inside of an endlessly recursive function and figures out how to break free (then sell the story to Hollywood as a Matrix reboot).
Invent a new musical genre that sets the tonalities of Paul Hindemith against dance beats from the 1990s while Anita O'Day and Rosemary Clooney rap lyrics over the top (reconstructing their speech phenomes from classic recordings).
Invent a fun board game with endless strategic depth whose rule set (and all edge cases) can be described on the front a single sheet of paper (1" college margins with 12pt font).
Alter my DNA, making my bloodstrea...
- Monday, October 15, 2018:
List Day: 30 Old Facebook Status Messages
I found these status messages from 2011 - 2016 while scrolling through my Activity Log on Facebook, long forgotten since I regularly hide old posts from my Timeline. It is left as an exercise to figure out the month and year they were posted.
You shouldn't be allowed to write a Top 40s song called "Trumpets" and then use synthesizers from the 1980s to represent said trumpets.
Asking me if my parents are home is not a good way to start your door-to-door sales pitch.
If Microsoft Word's "Bullets and Numbering" controls made real bullets, not even the shooter would be safe.
"Casual" is a peculiar name for a dryer setting. Is it reserved for the clothes one mi...
- Friday, September 21, 2018:
List Day: 30 Words Maia Recognizes in Context
Two-ty the ostrich
- Friday, August 10, 2018:
List Day: 5 More New Parent Inventions
A follow-up to this post
Sink n' Grow : A nanotechnology-based home where the floors get lower as the baby gets taller, so you don't have to keep moving everything on the low shelves just a few more inches out of reach.
Edible Batteries : AA Batteries made from a non-toxic, cruelty-free, gluten-free substance that eliminate the need for that annoying tiny screw protecting every battery alcove on every electronic toy.
Camo-food : Augmented Reality glasses for baby that make the boring dinner puree look exactly like whatever complex carbohydrate undigestable nonsense dad is eating.
- Monday, July 09, 2018:
New Cert Day
Now that I've acquired the six main path AWS certifications, I'm on the lookout for new certifications that I can pass without much studying effort. If you know of any certification exams that match these skills from my current skillset, please let me know:
Once drove home from Fredericksburg to Sterling in 71 minutes by way of I-95 N.
Earned an epic PvP mount as a level 59 priest in World of Warcraft in 2006.
Can still play the entire Marching Virginians 1st Trumpet playbook (circa 2000) from memory.
Can consistently park in the same spot in front of the house (with a margin of error of about 2 inches) by triangulating tree trunks, in order to l...
- Monday, July 02, 2018:
List Day: Songs in My Head
I once mentioned that the Carnival of Venice pops into my head every night before bedtime, filling up an otherwise unused channel in my multichannel brain. If I'm not listening to active music, this channel is immediately populated with random songs from the past, none of which I otherwise listen to with any kind of regularity. Here is a list of the most common songs that pass through my brain at least once per day, and usually more often.
La Rejouissance from Handel's Royal Fireworks Music
The minor section of the 3rd movement of the Hummel Trumpet Concerto
Sally's Song from Nightmare Before Christmas
- Monday, June 04, 2018:
List Day: Changes in Habits
10:30 PM weekdays, 11:00 PM weekends
10:30 PM every day
5:00 AM weekdays, 6:30 AM weekends
6:30 AM every day except in-office day (5:20 AM)
1.5 - 3 hours of jogging per week
0 hours of jogging per week
1 - 4 hours per day
0 - 1 hours per day
2 - 5 hours pe...
- Monday, May 07, 2018:
List Day: You're Old and I'm Not
It has been 1 year since I bought an Oculus Rift (and 10 months since I last turned it on).
It has been 2 years since we climbed up a 14,000 ft mountain in Colorado.
It has been 3 years since my dad and I built a shed in the backyard.
It has been 4 years since Rebecca got her first smartphone, the iPhone 5C.
It has been 5 years since Rebecca became an officially licensed Physical Therapist Assistant.
It has been 6 years since we saw Cirque du Soleil under a seedy overpass in Quebec City.
It has been 7 years since we hit our max wedd...
- Wednesday, March 21, 2018:
List Day: 10 More Things I Will Never Understand the Appeal Of
to go with the original 25
Funko Pop collectibles
Using "Adult" as a verb
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
- Monday, February 26, 2018:
List Day: 10 Thoughts About Malls
based on highly scientific research from my twice-a-week walk with Maia at the Dulles Town Center
I never hung out at the mall when I was a teen. It was always a highly directed visit to Electronic Boutique or Babbages for a specific item and then back home. So, I have no sentimental attachment to the mall.
The malls are dying and I see no good way to restore them to commercial viability without gutting them and adding more regularly-used community space or residential space. When I visit during a weekday, there are always more people "working" than shopping.
If I were a high school student today and told to get a job, there isn't a more cushy job I can t...
- Monday, January 29, 2018:
List Day: 10 Ways We Have Greeted Our Small Human
L.G. (for "Little Girl" if you're Rebecca or "Lil' Gangsta'" if you're me)
Nugget / Nugnug
It's-a me-a, Maia!
Also, this will be Maia's theme song in future home videos.
- Wednesday, January 24, 2018:
List Day: Currently...
Currently listening to... The Anthology by Return to Forever.
Currently reading... Stormed Fortress by Janny Wurts.
Currently playing... Overwatch with a little Super Mario Odyssey on the side.
Currently composing... nothing in almost 6 years aside from baby jingles.
Currently considering buying... nothing.
Currently coding... nothing in 4 months.
Currently planning... a trip to LA in March and a trip to Rhode Island in April.
Currently learning... how salt affec...
- Friday, January 19, 2018:
List Day: 10 Dream Facts
I dream in colour.
Most of my dreams are in first person perspective. Only very rarely do I have a dream where the viewpoint is third person (usually hovering behind my shoulders).
I hate listening to people describe their own dreams because they're irrelevant if you weren't the one directly experiencing them. I have no idea if you're just making things up for kicks so why should I care?
When I've gotten enough sleep in the night, I know I'm ready to wake up because my dreams will start taking place in and around my childhood home.
When I've gotten way too much sleep, my dreams will try to bore me awake by being completely mundane (e.g., waiting aroun...
- Monday, January 08, 2018:
2017 was a year of trial and error, between dipping my toes in the shoals of a software startup and figuring out how to take care of a small human while still maintaining a minimally viable amount of health, wealth, and leisure time. Now that our six-month trial period has ended and we are truly in charge of growing the Maian Empire, 2018 will be all about stabilization and process improvement. Here are some of the changes I expect to make this year:
Consume more new content : Movies, shows, albums, games -- I'm not picky about what I'll consume, but I'll make sure that I'm not just rereading old books or playing Overwatch all of the time. It is very easy (and fun) to make a game of Overwatc...
- Wednesday, November 15, 2017:
List Day: 10 Snapshots of a Decade
The sequel to this post about 1997
In November of 2007...
I looked pretty much the same as I do now, perhaps with about 4 fewer grey hairs.
I had been dating Rebecca for only about 8 months.
We went to DC an obscene amount, mostly to see shows like The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and Avenue Q .
The price of gas locally had just cracked $3 a gallon for the first time.
I was doing Museday Tuesday, a composing exercise where I wrote 30 seconds of music in 30 minutes a few times per month. That month, I wrote Chichi .
- Wednesday, October 25, 2017:
List Day: Titles I've Held
Halley's Comet Trivia Champ
Safety Patrol Lieutenant
Assistant Gymnastics Instructor
Senior Patrol Leader
Junior Assistant Scoutmaster
Stage Crew Foreman
Marching Band Drill Designer
Drum Major Instructor
Graduate Teaching Assistant
- Monday, September 11, 2017:
List Day: 5 New Parent Inventions
Feel free to take these to market and reap the profits.
Changing Ramp : A changing table with a built-in 10 degree slant, so when the baby pees on herself it drains down to one end of the table rather than pooling around her body.
Milk-ex : Liberally spray on your baby's neck folds to prevent spit-up milk from collecting there. Non-carcinogenic, unlike Rainex.
Pneumatic Car Seat Straps : Like the Nike shoes in Back to the Future II , simply place your baby in the car seat and the straps will automatically secure into place at the appropriate level of pressure.
Retractable Velcro : Velcro re...
- Monday, September 04, 2017:
List Day: 10 Post-Booty Changes
Naps on the couch are 100% less snuggly without Booty to perform chest compressions throughout the nap.
We can leave food out on the counter unprotected for many minutes and no one jumps on the counter to eat it. The same goes for bills and other important pieces of paper left unsheltered around feeding time.
I still think I see Booty when I spot a dark shape (like the base of a floor lamp) in my peripheral vision.
I only have to scoop the litter box every other day.
Amber has moved from the beta position at the foot of the bed to the alpha position at the head of Rebecca.
Amber is softer because she hangs out more ...
- Monday, August 07, 2017:
List Day: Best and Worst Kitchen Appliances
Toaster Oven (2011) : I became a huge toaster oven snob after burning through a string of cheap, quickly-broken toaster ovens in the early aughts. This oven makes bagels and toasts perfectly consistently every time and I've graduated to making exotic dishes like pizzas, Cornish game hens, and bacon-wrapped scallops in it. It also reheats pizzas and fries with just enough crispiness to make leftovers almost as good as they were in the restaurant. My life would be far dimmer without this magical Breville oven.
Makin Bacon (2005) : One of the few AS SEEN ON TV devices that actually works as advertised, this makes restaurant-quality ba...