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- Monday, April 02, 2018:
Maia has a stuffed animal that sings different songs when you press its paw. The repertoire is a mix of nursery rhymes as well as some brilliantly composed original music that was clearly not written by any guilded composer:
Apparently the creator of this song couldn't think of a final line to the song and allowed it to sway gently to completion with MIDI flutes. As if that weren't bad enough, the Morning Song is part I of a three part opus:
Why are the birds singing to the afternoon? Why is the MIDI accompaniment devolving into Ives-meets-Skrillex-like drum machine chaos? Don't think about it too hard because EVENING IS COMING:
Though Violet ...
- Monday, March 26, 2018:
Happiness: It Is Known
- Wednesday, March 14, 2018:
More Pictures from Topanga Day
Our AirBnB bathroom and shower had a windowed side that overlooked a private bamboo grove. We pretended that no one had drilled holes through the fence to stream our poops on the Internet.
We enjoyed the short hike in Corral Canyon over Malibu, especially the port-a-potty that was pressure-washed with disinfectant minutes before we arrived -- definitely different than our last PCH port-a-potty experience outside of Santa Cruz where there was a mound of poop 3 feet higher than the seat.
On the day of the rehearsal dinner, Maia did not cry until she met the groom. To be fair, this picture was taken at midnight Eastern time.
This picture of the ceremony is sli...
- Friday, March 09, 2018:
Topanga Day 4
Attending the wedding of Mike Catania and Annie Mueller at the 1909 in Topanga.
- Thursday, March 08, 2018:
Topanga Day 3
Sunset in Topanga Canyon at the end of Muerdago Road.
- Wednesday, March 07, 2018:
Topanga Day 2
Having kosher fishy meals for lunch at Fish Grill in Malibu, after hiking 2.5 miles in Corral Canyon.
- Tuesday, March 06, 2018:
Topanga Day 1
Having a late lunch (fresh off the plane) in Topanga State Park in California.
- Wednesday, February 14, 2018:
Stuff In My Drawers Day: Online Dating Profiles
To commemorate 11 years since Rebecca's first email contact with me on February 13, 2007, here is a screenshot of our original Match.com dating profiles from long ago. We showed this as a graphic in our wedding slideshow.
I tried to login to Match to capture the entire profile (including the part under "Ethnicity" where I said there was a little Indian in me and he was delicious) but the site is confusing and over-monetized now, and the text seems to be lost forever.
- Thursday, November 23, 2017:
- Friday, October 27, 2017:
I hope this doesn't affect my clearance.
- Wednesday, October 04, 2017:
Eighth Anniversary Day
As anniversaries pass, and senility robs us of our wedding memories, we'll always have the photographic evidence to fall back on.
Other posts in this series:
- Monday, September 18, 2017:
Clear proof that these cloth diapers should be living under the sea.
- Wednesday, September 06, 2017:
Extra Baby Picture Day
For everyone who wants more baby pictures.
This is Maia and her dad, walking around the backyard over the weekend. She learned the words "grill", "fence", and "goddamned mosquitoes". Wearing a baby in a front carrier every day makes me never want to get fat, because it's too hard to make sure you're aiming in the toilet when you can't see what's going on down there.
This is Maia whispering the secret code word to the dog. Parents aren't allowed to know what it is. Knowledge of the secret word gets you access to Club Baby and five starter Baby Bucks.
This is Maia being super cute with minimal effort.
- Wednesday, June 21, 2017:
Memory Day: Snapshots
The picture on the left is Rebecca at 4 months (October 1983), while the picture on the right is me at 20 months (May 1981).
This should allow you to extrapolate what our daughter will look like. You can check your work against the crazy 3D ultrasound image below!
- Friday, March 17, 2017:
Stuff in My Drawers Day
I drew this picture in April 1986 at the age of 6.
I was fresh from a trip to the Petersburg Battlefield, south of Richmond and the site of the longest battle in the Civil War. Having traveled to every battlefield in Virginia by the time I could do simple mathematics, I was oozing Civil War knowledge like a first grade know-it-all. Pictured here, is the use of sappers during trench warfare between the North and South. This strategy failed when the sappers dug too deep below their intended exit point and completely missed it. The tunnels then collapsed and everyone cried. Screw ups!
I'm not actually sure if Robert Lee himself was a sapper, but if he was a good leader, he would have taken a turn a...
- Friday, February 24, 2017:
Stuff In My Drawers Day
I drew this picture thirty years ago at the age of 7.
Excited about a planned trip to San Diego to visit relatives and go to Disneyland but not really knowing what California was actually like, I created this true-to-life representation of the life that Mike and Annie live on a daily basis. Also, there is only one beach stretching the entire length of the coast, called CALIFORNIA BEACH, and all of the houses have push bars on their doors like my elementary school did.
- Thursday, November 24, 2016:
- Friday, November 18, 2016:
The Orge Family
A children's book written in fourth grade language arts class
Once upon a time, long, long ago, King Orge and his queen had sextuplets.
Their names were: Worge, George, Horge, Morge, Corge, and Dwaborge.
They were always clumsy.
Dwaborge would pull the cat's tail while...
...George put a match in the gas stove.
"We must do something about these kids!" the cook exclaimed.
They never got the problem solved.
By the time they were all 30...
...they became fighters and warriors.
- Monday, October 03, 2016:
Seventh Anniversary Day
As anniversaries pass, and senility robs us of our wedding memories, we'll always have the photographic evidence to fall back on (click to enlarge).
Other posts in this series:
- Friday, July 22, 2016:
Stuff In My Drawers Day
Here's a cartoon I drew 24 years ago as a high school freshman. It depicts the assembly line process used to make a doofus. If you knew any doofuses growing up, they probably came from this machine.