Between work and the pimping, I've been kept pretty busy the past couple days. I have a whole stack of wedding-y pictures to put up which I haven't gotten around to doing, but hopefully I'll be able to get to it tomorrow night.

Did anyone go see Farenheit 9/11?

I have uploaded an assload of wedding photos (photographic technical term) to the Photos section (for the new, click on Photos above, then click on URI! Pictures in the left menu that appears and scroll down to the bottom). These were taken straight from the source and culled from over 1200 actual snaps. Distilling a wedding like this is akin to distilling moonshine, except that you don't end up with tasty liquor at the end (unless you were savvy enough to go out and buy some in advance). There's also a few new pictures in the monthly calendar.

Speaking of pictures, there was a giant shot of a morbidly obese man on the front page above the fold in Sunday's Style section . It went well with the bagel & cream cheese I had for breakfast that day.

It's Raining Booty

There is always at least one current events topic that you can use to bond with your fellow Washingtonian because Washingtonians are adrift without something to make small talk about. These topics are very important in the cosmic scheme of the universe, whether it's a sniper picking off people at gas stations or how many people would actually notice if there were a baseball stadium in Loudoun County. This week's topic of the . . . week is the horribly osmotic monsoon that's sweeping across our area.

Northern Virginia isn't exactly a temperate paradise of lovely weather, yet the tiniest ice slick or rain storm can throw the entire region into a chaos rivalled only by the human stampede at Walmart on the day after Thanksgiving. Now granted, this storm is fairly impressive -- I've gotten over seven inches of rain since Sunday -- but it shouldn't warrant the federal government allowing people to take the day off or newscasters devoting their entire segment to pools of water that people stupidly tried to drive through. It seems like half of the office took Monday off because of traffic jams on the roads or flooded basements (yet another reason for me to love my ground-floor basement).

Other than the new daily task of draining my planting beds of standing water so I don't inadvertently breed snakehead fish, the storm really hasn't changed much. The odor of humidity hangs in the air at all hours and were it not for the absence of nine-foot cockroaches, I might think I were back in Tallahassee again. Even the cats take it in stride -- they sit in the window and watch the lightning strikes until the thunder gets a wee bit too close and then dash under the bed.

Perhaps I'm just too inured to the danger of low pressure systems. After all, one time in Tallahassee, a hurricane hit the panhandle and went twenty miles inland. If it had gone another five miles and if I had lived on the ground floor with all the nine-inch cockroaches, I would have been a goner!

Capsule Review Day

There are no major spoilers in these reviews.

The 4400 Season 3:
The third season of this show was just as strong as the first two, and showed a definitely overarching storyline that makes me excited for the fourth season. The only misstep was the returning character of Isabelle. Whether it was the part or the actress, she was annoying in the beginning and stupidly-evil in the end (à la Melissa George's eyebrows in Alias). One of the things I really like about this series is that each season is only twelve or thirteen episodes long, so something important happens in every episode (unlike the LOST episodes, "Jack gets a tattoo" and "Hurley drives a van"). Disc Two had some permanent blemishes that made about four minutes of the episodes freeze, but I got the gist of the scenes through subtitles anyhow.

Final Grade: A-

Knocked Up:
Very funny but overhyped, and my patented BUtt system for measuring a movie's length by how tired I get of sitting around said the movie was about ten minutes too long. The shock-humour is more effective than the romantic angle, especially since weeks of movie-world time seem to pass without mention. For example, it's a little jarring when the main characters say they're in love after only a single "courting/bonding" scene, but then you realize that three or four months have passed. At least throw a montage in! Definitely worth a rental.

Final Grade: B

Scrubs, Season 5:
This is easily the weakest of the five seasons I've watched, but it's still on more than it's off. I burned through the entire season in about three days since each episode is only about 18 minutes long. To an extent, it felt like the writers were running low on ideas -- just when I was feeling like the episodes were nothing but slight rewrites of older ideas, there was actually a self-deprecating episode which showed that everything was merely a repeat of earlier seasons.

Final Grade: A-

Thank You for Smoking:
A quick-and-fun satire about a lobbyist trying to spin cigarettes to be a good thing. Funny while it lasted and over before it dragged or hurt my butt.

Final Grade: B+

Sandisk Titanium Cruzer USB Flash Drive:
This handy little flash drive is roughly the size of a Tallahassee cockroach and has a 2 GB capacity. It plugs into any computer without needing to install drivers, and transfers files about as fast as a regular hard drive. After a coupon rebate, I got it for $30 at Costco, and it's been well worth the money. It even survived a trip through the washing machine and worked perfectly after I let it air dry for a day. Burning CDs or using ZIP Disks are a thing of the past.

Final Grade: A+

Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords:
I purchased this game in April and was initially addicted to it by its simplicity, varied game styles, and incredibly long single player campaign. Two months later, the incredibly long single player campaign is still going and I'm bored. The game is enjoyable for a while, but when the leveling system maxes out at Level 50 and you're still only halfway through the game, it starts to get old (especially when some monsters respawn to block previously-travelled paths around the game board). There are certain combinations of gems and crafted items that make it very easy to win most battles, so the last half of the game lacks any sort of real challenge.

Final Grade: B-

Take my census by June 30, and win a five-dollar gift certificate!

Caption Contest Results

Congratulations to the following winners of this month's Caption Contest!

• First Place ($15): Chris Smith for Entry #3
• Second Place ($5): Steve Morton for Entry #9
• Third Place ($1): Katie Morton for Entry #14
• Runner-Up (Hugs): Mom for Entry #6

Sam Edwards will also get a $1 consolation prize, because I left his entry out of the voting pool. Thanks to everyone who participated!

Which entry should win the June 22 Caption Contest?

1 (1 vote, 5.0%)


2 (0 votes, 0.0%)

3 (5 votes, 25.0%)


4 (0 votes, 0.0%)

5 (1 vote, 5.0%)


6 (2 votes, 10.0%)


7 (1 vote, 5.0%)


8 (0 votes, 0.0%)

9 (4 votes, 20.0%)


10 (0 votes, 0.0%)

11 (0 votes, 0.0%)

12 (1 vote, 5.0%)


13 (1 vote, 5.0%)


14 (3 votes, 15.0%)


15 (1 vote, 5.0%)

Countertop Day

Back Day, Part II

Booty hasn't moved in five hours. Apparently back problems are contagious. If you wish to remain a productive member of society that doesn't have to balance a laptop on his or her stomach to do work, please stay away.

On the other hand, if you could use a break from the daily day-to-day and want to catch my malady, come on by and we'll lie on the couch and watch an entire season of Veronica Mars while consuming the remaining supply of chicken fingers, extra buttered popcorn, and cream cheese in my fridge.

Halfway Day

As if you didn't already need further reminders that you are aging more rapidly than many radioactive materials, we have now reached the end of June 2013.

Time flies like a banana around here as evidenced by the fact that it's been a year since I wrote a Museday Tuesday update, a year and a half since the last Friday Fragments column, three years since I bought a Kindle, four years since I cancelled my WoW account (again) and Mike moved to Lowell, and five years since Kathy came with us to Jazz in the Garden.

To celebrate the continued survival of myself, this website, and freedom, I will be taking next week off from work. (Actually, the real reason I'm taking off is because I now accrue leave at a rate of 5.39 hours per week which, when translated to metric, means I work in France).

I may not update this site during the week, but if I do, it will be easily palatable updates like pictures of a sunrise, a random chart, or something Photoshopped. Post your suggestions or Photoshop requests in the comments section and I will use them as fodder for crowd-pleasing updates whenever I feel motivated.

What is your opinion of the first half of 2013?

Send it back for a full refund. (1 vote, 20.0%)


Already half done? I'm still writing 2012 on checks. (4 votes, 80.0%)


2013 is the best a man can get. (0 votes, 0.0%)

Google+ Day

Happy 5th Birthday to Google+, the clear winner in the social media battle that made Facebook shut down its servers in a clear surrender almost immediately.

Jokes aside, I actually liked the concept of Google+ when it came out, and gave it a fair shot at grabbing my attention. However, once I got done making jokes about +1s and Circles, the bottom line was that there just wasn't enough of a network present to justify its continued use. The whole point of social media is to brag about how great your life is to all of the plebians who probably shop at Food Lion, and if no one is home, your message gets lost in the ether. After a half year or so, I returned to Facebook which boasted a larger network effect, even though they still fail to comprehend that I always want to see every news post from every friend in most recent order until I say otherwise.

Google's subsequent attempts to force-cultivate a network by integrating Google+ with every other service was really the final straw for me -- it felt like a rich kid's parents threw a birthday party at the petting zoo in hopes that everyone would show up and befriend their friendless offspring. Funnily enough, we still use Google+ at work, but it never caught on there either, even with a captive audience. I'm sure the phrase, "We had to block Google+ on the network because people were wasting too much personal time there", has never been uttered by a corporate IT administrator.

Memory Day: Snapshots

This picture was taken 37 years ago, in 1980.

My dad and I are outside the childhood home on Pickett Street where they still live today. I seem to be inwardly disgusted by declining human morality, or alternately, I'm pooping.

End-of-the-Month Highlights Day

New photos have been added to the Life, 2019 album. Google Photos sucks.

• Events
  • Friends Dinner with Car and Ben (pasta with homemade pesto and mojitos) on S 6/1.
  
  
  • Popeyes dinner with Rebecca's dad during a thunderstorm on S 6/2.
  
  
  • Family dinner at Bungalow Lakehouse on M 6/3.
  
  
  • Visit to the Uri grandparents on H 6/6.
  
  
  • Went to Rebecca's work picnic at Lake Fairfax on F 6/7.
  
  
  • Visted Joe and Katie for dinner in Fairfax on S 6/8.
  
  
  • Solo dad dinner at The V on S 6/9 after a rainy morning at the Cascades farmer's market.
  
  
  • Had parents over for porch burgers on W 6/12.
  
  
  • Got a sudden short-lived flu-like sickness on H 6/13.
  
  
  • Rebecca and Maia went up to Rhode Island to visit my sister's family, F 6/14 - S 6/16 while I stayed home recuperating. Maia had her first boat ride. Rebecca's car battery died at Dulles in the interim.
  
  
  • Spent the weekend at Weatherlea Farm in Lovettsville, F 6/21 - S 6/23. Had lunch at Market Table Bistro, dinner at Harpers Ferry Brewing, and saw sheep, llamas, horses, dogs, and cats.
  
  
  • Visit to the Uri grandparents on T 6/25.
  
  
  • Maia played with her cousins, Renae and Sammy, at a playground in Leesburg on W 6/26.
  
  
  • Family dinner at Fireworks Pizza in Sterling, on F 6/28.
  
  
  • Maia had a little fever on S 6/29. Went to Game / Birthday Night at the Smiths.
  
  
  • Walked around Reston Town Center with Maia and had gelato on S 6/30. Planning to go to a Barn Dance in Taylorstown.


• Projects
  • Eked out a Pass on the AWS Big Data - Specialty exam on M 6/24.


• Consumerism
  • Enjoyed watching the complete 12 Monkeys series and Dead to Me, Season One.
  
  
  • Still playing Grim Dawn and its expansion packs.
  
  
  • Listening to new and newly discovered music from Watsky, Webby, e-dubble, and Lil' Dicky these days.
  
  

June's Final Grade: B, Fun hot month, but I missed a trip to Rhode Island (the classy version of New Jersey).

Ian Week #9 Battle Report

Ian has officially crossed the two month mark and received his first cocktail of vaccines. He's in the 60th percentile for weight and height, and the 97th percentile for head size, probably because everyone keeps telling him how cute and clean he is.

He weighed 12.8 pounds on Friday and 13.4 pounds on Sunday and has thrush (the fungus not the birds). He is more comfortable hanging out in the Enrichment Jungle and has figured out that swatting his hands will make things jingle.

Maia's Art Day

Notable artwork from May 2023

"Once a pon a time there was a buro.
A littll bunny livd in it.
The bunny wnet to the garden
All winter long he had eneuf vegee's.
This is wat it looks like in his buro."

A dragon!

L: A true story about a flower.
R: "I see a bunny"

"L: I am planting flowers." Maia's final kindergarten report card noted how she liked to label all of the things in her pictures.
R: "It's felld day!" Maia was excited to eat popsicles and get wet on her school's Field Day.

End-of-the-Month Highlights Day

New photos have been added to the Life, 2024 album.

• Events
  • Rebecca's old friend, Michelle, came to town on S 6/1. They hit the Lake Anne farmers market in the morning and we had a gathering with Fire Works pizzas at our house in the evening.
  
  
  • Impromptu date night at Local Provisions on M 6/3.
  
  
  • Family trip to Ball's Bluff Park on S 6/8. Dinner at Bungalow Lakehouse.
  
  
  • Solo dad dinner at Local Provisions on M 6/10.
  
  
  • Ian went to the grandparents', W 6/12 - F 6/14. Dinner with the grandparents on Friday night (hamburgers) to celebrate Maia's last day of First Grade.
  
  
  • Rebecca and Ian went to Ryder's 3rd birthday party on S 6/15. Took the kids to Riverside Church for a Parents' Night Out (dinner at Fire Works with Rebecca's church friends).
  
  
  • Rebecca and the kids met up with Emily G at Udvar-Hazy on M 6/17.
  
  
  • Went to Lake Anna with the Edwardses and Catania/Mueller, T 6/18 - S 6/23. Went kayaking and swimming. Visited Lake Anna Taphouse, the State Park, and had IHOP on the way home. Fire Works Pizza for dinner in the heat wave on S 6/23.
  
  
  • Maia started soccer camp on M 6/24. Ian started potty training.
  
  
  • Solo dad dinner at Local Provisions on W 6/26.
  
  
  • Sterling Fireworks (Rebecca and Maia) on F 6/28.
  
  
  • Family day in Claude Moore on S 6/29. Went to Jessica's Bat Mitzvah (Brian and Maia) in the evening.
  
  
  • Rebecca and Ian are visiting Catherine H in Fredericksburg on S 6/30.


• Projects
  • Started adding the final book in the Wars of Light and Shadows series to the Paravia Wiki.


• Consumerism
  • No impressive new TV shows, movies, books, or music this month.
  
  
  • Still playing Diablo 4.

June's Final Grade: B+, A little too hot, but fun