Friday, February 03, 2006
Fifty monkeys, two hours topsThe Oscar nominations have been announced with a whole lot of Crash going on. This is good for me because it means I can block off the last week in February for my completely wrong Oscar predictions, since it's something of a tradition now. Also, check out the trailer for the new movie, Brokeback to the Future .I finally watched 40 Year Old Virgin two weeks ago. It was funny but about 20 minutes too long. I wish that they would stop making unrated-uncut versions of the DVDs unless the extra bits are actually worth watching. Two other movies from last year that I want to see but haven't gotten around to yet are Wedding Crashers and Broken Flowers.One very cool thing I learned from the Virgin DVD is that a season of the old FOX show, Undeclared, is coming to DVD soon. I was in college when that show was prematurely cancelled, and really liked it. Or maybe I just really liked Lizzy Exely. Who didn't? It was cute that both Carla Gallo and Seth Rogen of Undeclared had parts in 40 Year Old Virgin.I got an email from a specter of the past, Geoffrey King, saying that our high school reunion is definitely slated for the last weekend in July this summer. I'm still not 100% convinced that I should care or attend though. The email said that they're looking for people to sponsor the event and are also selling pizza kits to make money for it. Just because I sold cheese and sausage in high school doesn't mean I would want to do fundraising again for a reunion. They should just find the guy that became a multimillionaire straight out of college and get him to fund the entire thing. Surely are least one graduate of T.C. Williams went on to greatness, or at the very least, rose above the magnet of mediocrity.My cough may be gone, but it's left me with a croaky, raspy voice which can no have falsetto face-offs with Dave Matthews. I almost sound like Sydney.This is the first CNN poll I've ever seen that was evenly split. Generally the results are skewed by all those dirty liberal Internetters (since most conservatives don't use computers, so as to protect their families from the porn popup ads that will spew out of their CD drives and taint their conservative bastions of conservativism as soon as the computer turns on), so you'll see a question like "Should the Clothe-the-Naked-Homeless initiative also be applied to animals on nature preserves?" with 80% voting an emphatic YES and reader comments like "omg those por naked animals!!".I've started drinking Coke Zero which has 0 carbohydrates, 0 calories, and 0 sugar. I always hated the lingering aftertaste of Nutrasweet so I never drank Diet sodas, but Zero products have some newer cancer-causing agent which doesn't leave any taste in your mouth after you drink it. Coke Zero definitely tastes slightly different than regular Coke, but it actually works as a beverage and I can enjoy it.They also started stocking Diet Sprite Zero at work for free, which has me drinking lots of soda once again. I would think that the Diet and the Zero would cancel each other out, but I guess soda people just aren't very good at naming stuff.Yesterday afternoon, I went to the grocery store and realized that my shopping list actually included "bread, milk, and eggs". After checking to make sure that I hadn't mysteriously become a housewife in a 1950s sitcom (the dress I was wearing confused me just a little), I added two packs of thick-sliced bacon and a bag of cookies to break the stereotypical shopping mold.I find it hilarious that the Republican candidate for state senator lost the Loudoun County special election this week, and also managed to lose every single precinct, including the one he's from. What do you do after that? I guess there's nothing left for him to do but be caught drunk and naked with a hooker in his car, idling behind a seedy strip club, and then run for President.I bought a new five-foot round folding table for the basement which should be perfect for all my gaming needs. It comfortably fits eight poker players, and it's made of a plastic compound. This means that if there are drinking games at next year's Halloween party, I won't have to worry that any wooden surfaces are getting beer-basted like a ten pound salmon.This weekend, I plan on getting started on my Java certification and jumpstarting Poker Night for 2006. Obviously I'm going to win this weekend's game because of the pilgrimage I made over the winter to the Tibetan Poker Monks who taught me all their ancient secrets. Then on Sunday I have to study up on my county law so I can go to Jury Duty on Monday and send some innocent men to their death. I fully intend to stand up in the middle of court and shout out, "You can't handle the truth!". Then I'll storm out of the courtroom Saddam-Hussein-style and flee across the Mason-Dixon line to safety.Have a great weeekend! John Bolton, Washington's U.N. ambassador, tried to open his first meeting as head of the Security Council at 10 a.m. sharp on Thursday -- and was irked to find no other diplomats showed up. I used to have a glass eye, but now I'm okay... Human-animal hybrids will not be allowed in HOV lanes
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