Friday, October 07, 2005

Friday Fragments

  • It's no secret that people have invented sticky labels that peel off without leaving any residue. What I don't understand is why this stuff isn't used on everyday household items you buy in the store. Most of the goods in my house have at least 25% of the label left on, generally on the side facing the wall.

  • On a similar note, I hate the thick form-fitting plastic molding that seems to have replaced boxes for most electronic items. If you try to open one with scissors, you first must fight through the double-wide ridge around the outside. When the scissors blades have passed that obstacle, that ridge then acts to block the handle of the scissors and slice your hands open as well.

  • Speaking of plastic surgery, I hate these makeover reality shows because of the irresponsible way they prey on peoples' insecurities. I guess I just can't understand how people can invest so much importance in their physical appearance that they absolutely require the changes. I also can't understand how hearing your family and friends' opinions of how ugly you are will make you a better person after you're pretty. It doesn't show that you got pretty -- it shows that you have shallow friends. I remember one plastic episode from about two years ago where the woman said she had to get pretty because her husband said he would leave if she didn't. That's not the kind of behaviour you want to reinforce.

  • It's raining heavily here for the first time in about two months. I will probably have to reseed my grass again since last month's seeding didn't result in any greenery. I like the sound of rain in a forest canopy, which is another nice reason to have a forest in my backyard.

  • I forgot to watch Alias last night and didn't really care -- this is a first. I still have the guilty pleasure of reading the Alias spin-off books. I throw a few in my Amazon cart whenever I make a new order, since they only cost a few bucks and take about two hours to read. The original books were typical trashy high-school level books, but the more recent APO series have the feel and pacing of a real episode. They're worth a read if you're a fan.

  • I don't count travel time as part of my vacation, which is why I always leave on road trips at the crack of dawn. I would rather take a four hour trip at 5 AM and have the whole day in front of me, than get on the road at 9 and lose a few more hours to traffic.

  • In this article about coping with gas prices, one family wrote, "The kids no longer get fresh fruit or vegetables and no longer get turkey sandwiches. Now we buy only canned goods and the cheapest lunch meat possible.". I don't think I've ever been so poor that I had to choose between sliced turkey and gasoline, and I hope I'm never that poor. Coming from a soundly middle-class family, we never really had to worry about costs as kids. In the present, being a stingy bastard and not having a career in music means that I can still live comfortably without changing my routine around gas prices. In fact, I think I've driven more since gas broke three dollars a gallon. Excuse me while I go abuse the hired help.

  • There should be a rule that prevents you from driving gas-inefficient vehicles like SUVs unless you have at least five passengers with you at all times. If you're caught violating this rule, they take away your cell phone and your high beams, and then replace your tires with low riders so you're only about six inches off the ground.

  • I almost never open my front door to random knockers, but yesterday afternoon this little brat was selling chocolate for his school and knocked about seven times over the course of five minutes, also saying "I know you're in there!". I stole his money envelope and then told Booty to dismember him, feeding the remains to the hired help.

  • It is left as an exercise for the reader to use the phrase "random knockers" at least once in conversation today.

  • This weekend is looking to be as busy as last weekend. Tonight, I'm going to do nothing but clean the house and play Warcraft. Tomorrow, I've got several shopping errands to run, some Java Training planning to do for work, and then I have to check in on and/or steal Kim's cats (who are cute, but not "first place in a beauty contest" cute like Booty, who would also win "first place in a Booty contest", but maybe they could take 3rd or 4th and win $5 in Monopoly money) in the evening. Sunday, I'm getting an oil change, picking up some furniture, and carpet, and watching Desperate Housewives. Just kidding, if I watched that show it might turn out to be good and then I couldn't make fun of it anymore. I think Bree killed Gabrielle in rock quarry with the lead pipe.

  • Have a good weeekend!

  • A British cleric was thrown out of a school after he told pupils that Harry Potter was gay.
    Bush passes the buck up the chain of command
    Student passes out in President's office

    Yesterday's search terms:
    girl gagged with bandana, how heavy was sir lancelot du lake, what songs do the "marching virginians" play during football games, baby showers at work

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