Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Memory Day: Senior Schedule

Going to public school is like going to traffic school -- you show up, tune out, put in the time, and walk away with a certificate. My senior year of high school was easily one of the most enjoyable school years, because other than the three AP exams I took mid-year, it was an exercise in daily mingling.

First Period: Music theory was a class of three musicians and three non-musicians, so the classes were geared towards the latter. We learned basic chord progressions without having to do any partwriting and got to listen to the 8-bar melodies of the non-musician who insisted that he was in a punk band.

Second Period: Dr. Patel's idea of a joke was to put "shows no attempt to learn" on my report card. We did all sorts of tactile physics experiments while listening to him refer to us as chipmunks, bestow wise Indian maxims, or dismissing other subjects as garbage. After the AP exam, we watched the entire Star Wars trilogy, during which Dr. Patel insisted that Yoda had stolen "There is no try, only do" from him.

Third Period: We watched movies, read plays, told the teacher than anyone who was absent was probably "out back smoking crack with Zulfan", and convinced a substitute teacher that we were planning a surprise party for our teacher so we could send someone off-campus to buy sodas.

Fourth Period: Jazz band was only offered during lunch so we'd play the latest offering from Kendor Jazz for thirty minutes (until people started complaining that they were hungry), then eat a quick lunch at the end (two bologna and mayo sandwiches with an apple, a fudge brownie, and a juice pack).

Fifth Period: Mr. Esformes did not believe in AP courses so he mixed AP students and average students together in a giant social experiment that worked about 75% of the time. Classes were both insightful and inciteful, with the bonus learning counterbalanced by the time wasted on tardy slips, bathroom requests, and behaviour management.

Sixth Period: Mr. Kokonis may have been the oldest teacher in Alexandria, and he was still going strong (but with an oxygen tank) as recently as six years ago. He wasn't too strong on classroom management, and even worse with names, so you could tune out in his class and Jim would get in trouble instead. He was obsessed with his TI-85 calculator, and though both he and I owned the brand new TI-92, he never realized that it automatically solved the integrals and derivatives that were on our tests.

Seventh Period: We sat in the back and ogled clarinetists while the band director berated the constantly misbehaving marimba player.

Eighth Period: Because it wasn't an honors credit course, Marching Band was only good for lowering my GPA just enough so I wouldn't have to give any speeches at graduation.

Tokyo loses their pot
Teacher lets students vote out classmate
Space toilet breaks down

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