Audience Participation Day: Write My Lyrics

Happy 222 Thursday!

In the spirit of the harmlessly funny movie, Music and Lyrics, which I saw on Sunday, I've come up with a song without words which is just crying out for your lyrical prose. Now is your chance to put all those AP English classes to good use and bury me in your artistic gerunds and dangling participles of doom. Here are the rules for this contest:

1. Write 2 verses, a chorus, and a bridge to the melodies below (There is a 3rd verse, but only overachievers need to write it). An MP3 sample has been provided for anyone who can't read music.
2. You may slightly alter the rhythms to fit your lyrics, but you may not make wholesale changes to the chords or melodic lines.
3. Send your entries by email, NOT the comments section. Half of my visitors are dirty plagiarists that take my high school essays and resubmit them as their own. If you post in the comments section, your lyrics may end up on the poetry black market by sundown.
4. The deadline for submission is in ten days: Sunday, March 4.
5. After the deadline, all submissions will be posted for voting. The winner of the popular vote will receive a $10 gift certificate to Amazon.com (void if less than three people enter!). I have the deciding vote in case of ties or ballot stuffing.
6. By entering this contest, you agree only to allow your lyrics to be posted on this site. You still retain all other rights to your own work.

Here is a sample entry which I cooked up. If I can write this made-for-TV-movie-quality tripe in six minutes, surely one of you can come up with something good in ten days!

In the City, by Brian C. Uri!

Verse 1:
Hear the crickets here,
and you will never stop being
Far away from the deer.
Sniff and smell manure,
and spot a unicorn alight upon the dale.

Verse 2:
Share the fleas with sheep,
and you will wonder why you can
never go-o to sleep.
Taste the mangy rabbits,
and wish that you could sell your farm in I-o-wa.

Chorus:
To go, where the grass never grows,
Where the taxis are numerous,
and they will hit you with a smile,
and then buy you some joe.

Bridge:
Take the Greyhound to L.A.
Pollute your face.
And then enjoy a Big Mac and small fries.
Give some money to a bum.
And sing and dance.
And then get mugged and then lose your pants.

If you have any questions about the rules, just ask! Good luck!