Wednesday, January 03, 2007

List Day: New Year's Resolutions

  1. Become a syndicated talk show host who only interviews the scrubs that get rejected from all the other talk shows.
  2. Save a small child from a runaway cement mixer with bad rear-left brakes.
  3. Participate in at least one foreign military coup and become the head of state in the subsequent puppet government, directly involved in the day to day suppression of human rights, and lefts.
  4. Write the Great Asian-American Novel and sell the TV-movie rights to NBC for their new Must-See-TV on Thursday nights.
  5. Climb Mount Everest without any oxygen gear or shoes.
  6. Simultaneously date between four and seven women while marrying at least two, without entering the state boundaries of Utah.
  7. 1024x768, or maybe 1600x1200
  8. Invent a sport, get it added to the Summer Olympics, and become the first athlete to gold medal in it.
  9. Be a double-nominee for Academy Awards in Sound Mixing and Documentary Feature for my work on Deaf Boy With No Ears in a Soundproof Dungeon of the Heart.
  10. Learn every dialect of the Chinese language and display my linguistic prowess on the Mandarin version of Jeopardy!.
  11. Vandalize at least fourteen Wikipedia entries with slightly satirical information that could quite possibly be mistaken for the truth.
  12. Genetically engineer the perfect pet, using DNA strains from a Maine Coon, a Labrador, a bumblebee, and Chewbacca.
  13. Write a country song using only a Csus9 chord and the phrase "boot-lickin' dogie vittles".
  14. Discover the lost continent of Atlantis in Lake Huron.
  15. Eat lots of bacon.

At least I have about as much of a chance to keep my resolutions as you do yours!

Happy Birthday Lisa Johnson!

Parasite makes men dumb and women hot
Creepy paintings removed from hospital
I didn't notice the mistake as my son is usually good with computers

tagged as lists | permalink | 0 comments


Previous Post: 2007: The Year of the Mealworm


Next Post: Memory Day: The Secret Society of Safety Patrols

 

You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2019 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.

Jump to Top
Jump to the Front Page


January 2007
SMTWHFS
123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031
BIRTHDAYS
BLOGLOG
07/12
07/11
07/08
04/01
03/15
12/16

OLD POSTS
Old News Years J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
visitors since November 2003