Monday, January 08, 2007

Pearls of Wisdom from Yearbooks of Yore

7th Grade, 1991

Sadly, I was!

8th Grade, 1992

The sweets guy is the one that brings candy to class. This note would be completely unremarkable, were it not for these happenings a decade later .

8th Grade, 1992

"You impudent little freak" was a catchphrase for a very very short period of time in 1992 -- was it from SNL or something? "Bammafied bamma" lasted much longer.

9th Grade, 1993

The obligatory inside joke that no one else will ever get. I read this for probably the first time since it was written and the old levity of the joke immediately washed over me like an incoming tide of horseshoe crabs and industrial foam. We had a particularly white-bread band director and we were playing one of those uselessly trendy band arrangements where either Swearingen or Curnow try to be hip, and she remarked "This sounds like one of those songs you kids would be playing on your ghetto boxes". Every single day for the remainder of the year, someone would call out from the back of the room, "What's a ghetto box?" You had to be there.

10th Grade, 1994

Yes, my nickname in high school was The Urinator. I wore it like the badge of honour that it was.

10th Grade, 1994

The obligatory "Why the hell did you ask me to sign your yearbook since I am way more popular than you and ignore you in said English class" note.

11th Grade, 1995

The correct response is either the Japanese ellipsis (...) or a capital WTF. Either is appropriate.

11th Grade, 1995

I was very short in high school, but I've grown by leaps and bounds since then.

12th Grade, 1996

I wrote a song called Bubba's Fried Chicken Stand for the jazz band. And, every other entry in this yearbook mentioned crew or boats or cockswines.

12th Grade, 1996

See? Growth.
Oiled prisoner escapes from prison
Self-cleaning underwear goes weeks without washing (but will then eat your genitals and take over the world)
It's a battle not written in stone

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