Resumé Day

You've never truly had to artifically inflate your curriculum vitae until you have to write one for the Personal Management Merit Badge in Seventh Grade. It's good to know that I learned all about "different levels of life" in Life Science (cellular vs. society, not Kshatriyas vs. Dalits).

Without tooting my own horn, I can honestly say that I was an expert on rear entry safety, and the school administrators felt good knowing that I was on rear duty. I was also an expert at "neatening". As for the shocking secret that I was on the AV Club, I WAS the AV club. Whenever a teacher needed a film projector, I would be the one to get out of class and roll it down the hall.

Notice that I advertised my role as third cornet, which is the part I played, rather than my seat position in the band, which was LAST CHAIR. One of the songs only had two trumpet parts, so that's why I got to say I was "second cornet" as well.

Luckily I've gained at least three inches and ten pounds since my days as a Sevie, and I definitely wasn't malnourished because my health was EXCELLENT. If you have any open positions for a typing gymnast who can also double as a rather large paperweight, please contact me.

I'm guessing that the Recognizable Student award was judged on more than just familiarity. Obviously I was struggling to think of awards to list here -- Toten'chip? That means that I successfully passed a safety lesson on how to use an axe or a bowsaw, and was allowed to carry scout knives on camping trip. If you have any job reqs open for a knife-wielding housekeeper who will have perfect attendance, please let me know.

Don't forget that tomorrow is 12 of 12!

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