Our company name was finally posted on the front of the building over the weekend, so it can now be seen from the Dulles Toll Road (you could already see the sign on the back of the building, but only from Reston). This is great PR, because we'll now get all the government officials in charge of defense spending who happen to be tooling down the road, fresh from the airport and their taxpayer-covered European vacations. They'll see FGM on the side of the building, think "That sounds like a great place to develop defense software. I could use some defense software today. And maybe a Big Gulp" and then pull into our parking lot and give us a multi-million dollar contract.
This translates directly into a higher salary for me, which means that eventually I can put my own name on the side of a building. I'll start in a simple manner, maybe adding an exclamation point to the official letterhead of the University of Rhode Island, before working my way up through a Music building, a golf course, and a dormitory. Hopefully it'll be a dormitory with a particularly exciting reputation, where college kids not even born yet will say, "All the slutty girls live in URI! tower!" or something similar.
I would much rather get a man-made edifice named after me than any natural phenomena -- it must be exceedingly depressing for scientists to hear that their named insect has become extinct, and I'd never want there to be a URI! Glacier, because who knows whether that'll be around in a hundred years. However, when it comes to buildings, there's always a big fuss when the building is about to be torn down, so hopefully by then people will want to retain my name for posterity's sake and my building will get a brand new renovation out of it.
The remainder of the money not spent on naming buildings will go towards my custom-designed house which will have a secret passage, a two lane bowling alley with a pinsetter, and an indoor miniature golf course with 36 holes.
New LOST tonight!
When bugs fly
Previous Post: Goo Goo Gaa Gaa |
Next Post: Name that Tune |
You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2024 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.