I borrowed today's idea from a bulletin that Anna answered on MySpace, the world's most poorly designed social networking site. Simply load your entire playlist on your favourite music-playing device (be it an iPod, WinAMP, your 99-disc CD changer, or a comely soprano named Katya) and hit the Shuffle button. Then, use the shuffled playlist make the soundtrack for the movie of your life, using the life events in the table below. The choices Shuffle bestows upon your life will range the gamut from completely nonsensical to eerily perfect.
Long time readers will remember that the movie of my life is currently in production, so creating the soundtrack is the logical next step. I now tag Mike
, Brianne
, and CC
. The running commentary is unnecessary -- feel free to just do the column where you shuffle your playlist if you are feeling lazy.
Event | Fate's Soundtrack | Commentary |
---|---|---|
Opening Credits | ![]() | This is one of several Coldplay songs that involves singing random phrases over a nondescript vamp for three to four minutes before fading out -- a perfect underlay for the extensive credits, since some of my stars will not want to share the same screen of credits with their rivals. |
Waking Up | ![]() | This choice doesn't make sense at all for a wake up song. I would choose the aptly-named "Wake Up" by XTC ![]() |
First Day of School | ![]() | Though the "I don't wanna be here" is apropos, this song seems too girly to start school with. All the other boys would make fun of me (rather, the actor playing little me, a.k.a Short Round). |
Prom | ![]() | Apparently, it's a retro prom. |
Life's Okay | ![]() | This is a good, upbeat, status quo song. Good work, Mr. Shuffle. |
Driving | ![]() | Not quite impatient or fast enough to accurately characterize my insane driving skills. |
Falling in Love | ![]() | "So I need some fine wine and you, you need to be nicer, for the good times and the bad times we know will come"... Such a positive forward-thinking way to start an affair of the heart. |
Breaking Up | ![]() | Apparently, the break up occurs in black and white, after which I don a Charlie Chaplin hat and comically run through a general goods store causing mayhem. I then rob a bank in subtitles and escape with white canvas sacks that have $ emblazoned on the side. |
Mental Breakdown | ![]() | Not a bad choice at all. |
Reconciliation | ![]() | I don't know why Shuffle would match this song with that event, but maybe it's so I can yell "Yeehaw!" afterwards. |
Wedding | ![]() | This is the song in which Candide and Cunegonde have completely different perceptions of what married life is like and sing about how happy they will be after marriage. I swear I didn't manually pick this -- you can't make this stuff up! |
Sex Scene | ![]() | Based on the music, this might be the most disturbing sex scene in cinema. However, moviegoers will get to see Daniel Dae Kim get it on with Rachel McAdams and Alyssa Milano, so box-office receipts will probably be overflowing regardless. |
Birth of Child | ![]() | Very appropriate. I almost hit Shuffle one more time, because it was too good and I didn't want it to look like I was influencing the results. However, what you see is what I got. |
Dance Sequence | ![]() | At first glimpse, not a good choice. However, I then realized that this was one of the songs from the Marching Virginians which had a dance in the middle of it, so I expect the sequence would somehow involve "Shopping", "Riding the Burro", and "The Butt". All of these will get good acclaim at the Sundance Festival, but a better choice for the masses might have been "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" by the Scissor Sisters ![]() |
Flashback | ![]() | Perfect. |
Final Battle | ![]() | I did not realize that my nemesis in life would be a clowny, oafish pachyderm. It may not be the most intense boss fight of all time, but it'll certain draw the chuckles! |
Death Scene | ![]() | With my final dying breaths (after being gored by the elephant), I gather my closest friends in a circle and sing folk songs until the end. |
Funeral Song | ![]() | The funeral will be held in a French discotheque (after which Carlos Adolfo Dominguez will take all the ladies to the movies). |
Closing Credits | ![]() | No one sticks around for the closing credits anyhow, so might as well go with a song that no one knows! |
On another note, new cat pictures were added here
(scroll down) and new weekend pictures were put here
.
Happy Birthday Jason Mirick!
tagged as
tags
|
permalink
| 3 comments
|
|
Previous Post: Friday Fragments |
Next Post: Newsday Tuesday |
You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2023 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.