Monday, September 11, 2006

March of the December Decorations

Christmas is coming to this end of suburbia, announced with the annual overstocking of garish decorations now available at Costco. As I stepped through the Gates of Consumerism on Saturday morning, I waved my membership card at the disinterested greeter, fended off the coupon book they routinely dump into your cart, and wended through the yuppies and slow-movers to do my weekly shopping.

Even from the entrance I could see it: a massive display nestled between the $500 air hockey table and the Casio keyboard autolooping on Popcorn. The letters were familiar, N O E L, but this year the price tag didn't just say "NOEL Christmas Decoration". This year, the sign loudly proclaimed, "NOEL Christmas Decoration with Penguins". Sure enough, as I got closer to the aisle, I could see plastic penguins crawling all over the letters, with varied shades of flashing lights and moving parts.

NOEL with Penguins: Because it's just not Christmas without flightless birds

This is the type of decoration that ends up, Christmas Vacation style, on a rich family's lawn (and can also be seen year-round in Christiansburg). A subtle form of class-discrimination can be found with this product, since you have to own an SUV to even consider getting it home to set up. Now, the sign by itself makes a statement but isn't a full diorama, so you'll probably want to purchase some other accessories, like the Snoring Santa In a Chair which retails for $34.99.

Squeeze Santa's hand... and listen to him snore. Pull Santa's finger... (requires $4.99 wind tunnel accessory)

Just in case they become a collectible series, please keep your eyes peeled in December when the Christmas decorations have run their course -- you may be able to pick up other decorations from the series, such as "Valentine's Day with Lemurs" or "Presidents Day with Commies". I know I'll be first in line.

Schwarzenegger sorry for calling lawmaker "hot".
Paying for a dog? Shocking.
Neighbors said Kuhnhausen's size -- 5-foot-7 and 260 pounds -- may have given her an advantage.

tagged as mock mock | permalink | 1 comment


Previous Post: Friday Fragments


Next Post: Memory Day: The Safe Spot

 

You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2019 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.

Jump to Top
Jump to the Front Page


September 2006
SMTWHFS
12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
BIRTHDAYS
BLOGLOG
05/24
05/11
04/01
03/15
12/16

OLD POSTS
Old News Years J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
visitors since November 2003