This Day In History: 12/14

Sunday, December 14, 2003

My Florida Bank of America account is finally cloesd with balance check in hand, after having requested the closure in August of this year. It only took four months of unreturned phone calls, useless e-mails, disappearing snail mail, and unintelligent customer service reps before I found a single person who realized what was going on and turned the check around in less than three days.

I would definitely recommend them for your next banking experience.

I also hear that Saddam has been tagged a terrorist now. I'm sure Bin Laden is thrilled that his spotlight has been stolen away. The Ayatollah better watch out -- with Iraq out of the picture, someone might mispronounce Iran back into the Axis of Evil.

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Drive-By Musings

  • Why do tow trucks get flashing lights? Is it to say, "Look at me, I haul broken stuff."? Are they more dangerous than any other car and thus, require extra warning signs? If so, then why don't student drivers and drivers from Maryland get flashing lights too?

  • Why are speeding, aggressive driving, and reckless driving all given a negative perception when reckless driving is really the only dangerous one? You could be driving eighty miles an hour on any highway in the area and still be driving at a safe speed for the conditions at the time. Speeders and aggressive drivers are the ones that keep traffic moving when it would otherwise be congealed by the lolly-gaggers who like to swim four abreast, blocking every lane. Ticket the guy who's not using his turn signals and who's making more than four lane changes in ten yards, not the guy going ninety in the left lane on a straightaway.

  • What do you do if you're following unfamiliar instructions and you miss a turn? Do you find your way back to that spot and make the turn? I always keep going and try to circle back from the next turn, in hopes of finding a new way to get there. Once I was in Langley and missed the turn for the Dulles Toll Road, so I decided to go all the way back to Sterling by Georgetown Pike. There's a mansion going up next door to the entrance to Great Falls.

  • The lanes of a highway should be like law and order in the Old West. The farthest right lane should be the one where everyone obeys the speed limit, moves in an orderly fashion, and bakes each other pies. The farthest left lane should be every-man-for-himself where the first man home gets a prize. The lanes in the middle should be a gradient between the two extremes. People driving towards the left should know what they're getting into and not have the right to righteous indignance when people start honking and passing them.

  • I hate those pressure-plated lights along the Fairfax County Parkway and Dranesville Road that allow all the rich yuppies immediate gratification in getting out of their million-dollar subdivisions. The fact that you poop diamonds does not give you the right to interrupt everyone's commute so your lone car can get on the highway.

  • Red-light running would be greatly reduced if intersections just had mechanical blast doors that shot up out of the ground as soon as the light turned red. People would be less likely to jump the red with six inches of titanium waving hello to their cars, and you also wouldn't have to worry about those clowns that start inching inappropriately into the intersection in search of a speedy take-off at the green.

  • His hindsight, however, isn't half bad.
    Paris Hilton display upsets neighbors
    Neighbours say the lynched Santa doll is not in the Christmas spirit

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    Thursday, December 14, 2006

    Chad Darnell's 12 of 12: Deluxe Edition

    The world has now been graced with 12 full editions of Chad Darnell's 12 of 12. With all the pieces in place, readers have been instructed to take one picture from every time they participated and combine them as the thirteenth twelve-on-twelve-extravaganza, the results of which will either reveal the Rambaldi endgame to us all, or just tell us to drink our Ovaltine (odds are running 50-50 either way right now).

    Tragically, I did not participate in every single month, which I blame on varying occurences of being too busy, forgetting the camera, forgetting what day it was, or commies. However, here are the four months that I did participate, now with brand new captions since they're taking completely out of context. Enjoy!

    April 12, 2006

    The live-action game of Pac-Man on the streets of Reston raised over four thousand dollars for the care of aging video game champions with carpal tunnel syndrome.

    June 12, 2006

    My plans to decorate the laundry room were clearly a bust.

    August 12, 2006

    Day Four without supplies . . . the jungle cats creep ever closer whenever I close my eyes.

    November 12, 2006

    Rather than risk dishpan hands, I decided to return all the dinnerware to Target as "defective".

    Bonus Pic: December 12, 2006

    Apparently an evil witch turned Booty's fourth paw into a mouse!

    Happy Birthday Kytty!

    Ariel calls daughter a slut
    Do women need men?
    Man traps himself in mountains of waste

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    Friday, December 14, 2007

    Friday Fragments

    The final Fragments column of 2007

    ♠ I received an email invitation to my company's holiday party last week. You can ignore the now-typical January date (because scheduling things in December is so stressful for everyone, so it's better to place the party alongside the delivery of the first post-Christmas credit card bill). What you can't ignore is the location: the office. While I do like our office, it's definitely not the proper setting for anything labelled as a party. Were both the Hyatt and the Elks Lodge Community Center booked up already?

    ♠ I would be more mocking of this if I actually attended office parties, but that fact that I don't takes away some of my mocking privileges. Generally, I just stay home where I can be "firing ice" in private and waiting for Anna to drink too much at her office parties and have to crash at my house.

    ♠ However, I fully expect to get the money they saved on renting a party location as a Christmas bonus. If not, I may choose to continue mocking the party venue from this website behind my alter-ego, "BU".

    ♠ I saw a fun typo online the other day that I have claimed for my own. Some clueless individual used the nonsense word "anonymosity" when they really meant "anonymity". This new word is the perfect term to describe the viscious sniping and ranting vitriol that you encounter online from nameless, faceless Internet people who wouldn't be nearly as scathing in a face-to-face conversation.

    ♠ Here's a lovely picture of my icicle-like Christmas lights, a subdued non-denominational expression of holiday cheer guaranteed to appeal to everyone. Even though Anna hates them, they're far better than one of those ludicrous globes. I'm not sure where Santa and Baby Jesus want to be this holiday season, but I'm pretty sure it's not inside a drive-by peep show that gradually deflates a little bit every hour.

    ♠ There's a house on Church Road with one of those ridiculous inflatable snow globes surrounded by all manner of glow-in-the-dark festive-yuppy paraphernalia. The effect of this Fairfaxian Winter Wonderland is marred by the 1970s era car sitting in the back yard. It's not even up on blocks -- it's just parked on the patio next to the screen porch.

    ♠ Apparently, these people never learned the basics of topography. Lesson number one: If you try to hide an abandoned vehicle in your back yard, and you live on the corner of two streets, you've pretty much put it in your front yard. All you need is a lawn chair and a six pack of beer and you could be from West Virginia.

    ♠ I picked up a twenty-four pack sampler of Sam Adams Winter Ales at Costco on Wednesday, because a Sam Adams lager is almost as good as half of a Guinness. That was my thinking, at least, before I tried the hideous Cranberry Lambic which tasted like someone tried to make a dessert wine out of hops and Jolly Ranchers. Whoever thought cranberries and beer would make a good fit should be shot. Cranberry lambic is the worst of all.

    ♠ (The last sentence in the above fragment was written in lambic pentameter).

    ♠ I had to look up iambic pentameter for today's post because I couldn't recall exactly how it went. I remember very little from any given English class.

    ♠ I'm not sure I can trust my Learn Spanish Now CDs anymore, because the previous lesson introduced conjugations with this description: Consider the English verb "to be". There is a different form of this verb for each pronoun: I am, you are, he is, she is, we are, y'all are, and they are. I did not realize that y'all had been promoted to an official pronoun. If that's the case, then Pluto should be a planet, even if it is just a tiny ball of rock and ice.

    ♠ Speaking of ice, the plan for Saturday calls for ice-skating at the Sculpture Garden in the evening. I've never been ice-skating before, but it's essentially attacking some ice with paired metal blades, and I'm expecting to be a pretty decent ice ninja. Sunday is "put up the tree and make cookies" day at my parents' house. Next week at work should be pretty relaxing, because it's the first week in which everyone who works for the government or pretends to be a business developer takes off for a month-long vacation. The offices will be pretty quiet, no doubt.

    ♠ Happy Birthday Kytty! Have a great weekend everyone!

    President of Iceland calling
    Kangaroos are not known for their love of the sea
    Why pregnant women don't tip over

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    Monday, December 14, 2009

    Chad Darnell's 12 of 12 on 12/12

    7:51 AM: Amber tries to wake us up before the alarm goes off. (Booty is outside behind the closed door, having tried to wake us up over an hour earlier).

    8:46 AM: Shower time after a length snooze.

    9:07 AM: Bagels and cream cheese for breakfast.

    10:32 AM: Printing out some wedding pictures for friends.

    11:12 AM: Christmas Booty stays clean for Christmas.

    11:21 AM: Booty helps me beat a difficult level in New Super Mario Brothers Wii.

    12:11 PM: Sorting through this year's 12 of 12s for Tuesday's compilation post.

    1:32 PM: A "bachelor-style" lunch, consisting of waffle fries and, well, not much else.

    2:58 PM: Doing a little composing.

    7:57 PM: Down in Manassas at Anna & Ben's for a cheese-filled dinner.

    9:04 PM: Rosie wakes up to say hello.

    10:36 PM: Ending the night with a game of "UPS-opoly".

    See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site!

    Bizarre light show scares Norway
    Kitten apparently rides 120 miles in wheel well
    Flu patients turning into zombies

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    Tuesday, December 14, 2010

    Twelve 12 of 12s

    The final post of the 12 of 12 series is a highlight reel with the best picture from each month to show how you've blossomed into a beautiful songbird over the course of the year.

    January: Artsy vistas on the way to work.
    February: Lusting after sandwiches.

    March: Greetings from my crotch.

    April: Butt ghosts.

    May: Giant (visible) sandwich!

    June: Weddings on the hottest days of the year.

    July: Mr. Crepe is unhappy.

    August: The cat market is bullish this week.

    September: On Emerald Isle, playing with knick-knacks in a tourist shop.

    October: Sleeping in.

    November: Suitably rustic.

    December: Delicious homemade soup!
    Escape of man in eight-day standoff a head-scratcher for RCMP
    Terribly hairy fly found in Kenya
    Jackass IT: Stunts, idiocy, and hero hacks

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    Wednesday, December 14, 2011

    List Day: 2011 in Twelves

    Top 12 Posts from 2011
    • BU has childhood confessions
    • BU judges your taste
    • BU on the cost of living
    • BU on work phrases that need to go
    • BU on averting a government shutdown
    • BU equates Osama bin Laden to LOST
    • BU explains gene therapy
    • BU animates his kitchen remodeling
    • BU beats up on NASA
    • BU is hit by the earthquake
    • BU was always a smartass
    • BU runs for Sterling Supervisor
    Top 12 Review Recommendations from 2011

    I guarantee that you will not go wrong by buying, watching, or listening to anything on this list:

    • All-Night Cinema by Just Jack
    • Breville BOV650XL Toaster Oven
    • The Office, Season 2
    • Portal 2
    • Weber Spirit E-310 Grill
    • Lost Cities
    • Adjustment Bureau
    • Lenka by Lenka
    • The Wire
    • Record Collection by Mark Ronson
    • The Mating Game by Bitter:Sweet
    • Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

    Recommend something for me to buy in the Comments section! Hoarding my excess wealth is bad for the economy, and thus, bad for America.

    Thieves target tubas in South California
    Talk show host offers Newt a million dollars to drop out

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    Friday, December 14, 2012
    Monday, December 14, 2015

    Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

    7:57 AM: Up and awake.
    8:15 AM: Breakfast with Sydney.
    10:08 AM: Back from Costco with fruit.
    11:59 AM: Exercising and rewatching The Wire.
    1:05 PM: Leftovers for lunch.
    2:13 PM: Meatballs with barbeque sauce in the slow cooker.
    3:19 PM: Decorating the fake tree.
    5:37 PM: Time for a potluck!
    7:12 PM: Potluck participants.
    7:18 PM: Florida State friends.
    7:45 PM: A change in soundtrack.
    11:54 PM: Ending the evening with Telestrations.

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    Wednesday, December 14, 2016

    Twelve 12 of 12s

    January: I probably spent as much time planning out my character as I did actually playing Fallout 4.
    February: Still a three-cat household at the time.
    March: Partying with the Lowrys.
    April: A rare day where Donald Trump was NOT on the front page!
    May: The office at my old company had a much better view.
    June: Back Porch Taco Night.
    July: Rebecca takes all the bags to work.
    August: Booty got hooked on yogurt boxes this year.
    September: Plenty of time for carpet cat-naps.
    October: I just learned that my old company finally won the work for the proposal I was working on in this picture!
    November: Chuy's is the best restaurant we discovered in 2016.
    December: This is me at 37.

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    Friday, December 14, 2018

    Twelve 12 of 12s

    a recap of 12 of 12 posts from 2018

    January: Maia gets the royal treatment from Anna's kids. Sydney is ignored.
    February: Couch lunges.
    March: First dinner at home after our trip to LA.
    April: Cat hunter.
    May: Helping with lawn care.
    June: Just voted in the primary.
    July: Messier than Dad would prefer.
    August: Starting a band.
    September: Learning about angular momentum.
    October: Bunny lover.
    November: Encroaching wildlife and sad pinwheel.
    December: Disrupted sleep cycles for Advent of Code.

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    Monday, December 14, 2020

    Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

    12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

    12:38 AM: Wrapping up Day 12 of Advent of Code (6th place).
    8:40 AM: Showered and ready for the day.
    8:55 AM: Bagel for breakfast, in the shade of the avocado tree.
    9:44 AM: Second breakfast with the rest of the family.
    10:21 AM: Taking a break from the crossword puzzle.
    11:07 AM: Inventing a hex-based board game in which Aladdin goes fishing with Stitch.
    12:50 PM: Leftovers from Joe's Pizzaria for lunch, on a porch visit with Rebecca's parents.
    3:21 PM: Quick nap.
    5:00 PM: Gingerbread cookie time!
    5:59 PM: Dinner's gettin' weird.
    7:27 PM: Tonight's bedtime story selection.
    11:51 PM: Back up for Advent of Code, Day 13.

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    Wednesday, December 14, 2022

    12 12 of 12s

    a recap of 12 of 12 posts from 2022

    January: A pre-snow-storm Costco run.
    February: Enjoying a warm day in Claude Moore.
    March: A snowy day.
    April: On the farm.
    May: Rejuvenating a sidewalk.
    June: First restaurant breakfast.
    July: Special guest on my work call.
    August: Walking around Lake Anne.
    September: The day a bug flew in her ear at school.
    October: Group story time.
    November: Dinner at Ford's.
    December: Encanto roleplay.

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