Memory Day: Junior Year Awards Ceremony

As if sitting through an elementary school assembly in a multipurpose gym/auditorium smelling of feet while kids were awarded for perfect attendance wasn't bad enough, the assemblies only got worse as the years went on. By the time I'd gotten to T.C. Williams High School, the awards program was fifteen pages long (16 with an addendum) and had awards for every class and every subject, as well as scholarships, Book Awards, and other ridiculous categories. Having a technical school on the premises didn't help matters, as there were awards for "Auto Mechanics I" and "Air Conditioning Repair" interspersed with the smarty awards.

By this point in my academic career, I was over awards, and rarely tried to get more than the occasional band or art award. For some reason, I still attended the ceremonies anyhow, sitting through interminable recitations of "please hold your applause until the end" before standing up once to get a certificate. I reached the pinnacle of phoning it in during the year when I was chastised by a teacher for coming in shorts and a T-shirt. "You may not think these awards are a big deal, but this is the high point of some of these students' lives!"

To pass the time during the assembly, I would always litter my program with cartoon sketches. Here are a few from the 1995 Program: