BU Begins

Soon Bok Yoon, from the planet Wooie -- I may as well have been an extra in Star Wars.

Only six days after my birth, they already knew that I would be handsome, intelligent, and able to poop without difficulties.

As part of the Care and Feeding of Your New Alien packet, new parents are warned that all Oriental kids are plague monkeys.

Another part of the packet is a twelve page attachment, Communicating With Your New Alien. To all the ladies out there, Un Je Den Ji Nal Bool Ru.

It takes Americans months to obtain their passport, but little babies who are presumed to be Korean get them immediately. Homeland Security was lacking in those days.

When I flew over to the Great White Santa, my wrist was the size of Booty's leg.

Adopted!