Sunday, February 29, 2004
The Oscars, Part VI of VI
Achievement in cinematographyThe Nominees:
City of God
Cold Mountain
Girl with a Pearl Earring
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
What will happen?
This year has some of the corniest titles ever, and they all sound like they're first cousins of each other. Since I haven't seen any of the movies in this category, I will presume that they all employed cutting edge techniques like following the action with a handheld camera, transitioning with blur, and FADE TO BLACK. You can take your camera to a mountain, but you can't make the mountain do anything for the camera. As such, Cold Mountain will win, because they must have used some damn crazy effects to make a mountain (albeit a cold one) interesting enough for nomination.
Achievement in directingThe Nominees:
City of God- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
- Lost in Translation
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Mystic River
What will happen?
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King will get this without a doubt, because of the director's work with the entire trilogy, despite making a third section that has eight endings. I have a feeling I'm going to hear the annoying minor second motive plenty of times if I watch the ceremony.
Achievement in film editingThe Nominees:
City of God
Cold Mountain- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
What will happen?
Seabiscuit wins. It has the shortest title, and therefore must have had the best editors of all varieties. This will inspire a wave of knock-off movies next year about a gallant race dog named Firemuffin, and a valiant racecar driver named Cyclonescone.
Best motion picture of the yearThe Nominees:
- The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
- Lost in Translation
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Mystic River
Seabiscuit
What will happen?
Lost in Translation is not big and fat enough to get Best Picture, so the race will be between The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King and Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
will get a few write-in votes, since these three titles are like the Triplets of Melville: too long and not quite worth it. Incidentally, none of these titles would work as answers to an SAT analogy problem, despite the colons. The winner will be: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: Big surprise.
Yesterday's notable search terms:
origami five headed hydra, beidler ghosts
Pet spider kills its owner
Rachel Green does tech support
Woman Reports Neighbor for Disturbingly Loud Sex
You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history.
The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2024 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.
Jump to Top
Jump to the Front Page