1989 brought a remake of Pinball Wizard in the form of the awful Fred Savage vehicle, The Wizard. The movie was essentially a ninety-minute commercial for Nintendo's biggest selling NES game, Super Mario Bros. 3. SMB3 was also one of the first NES cartridges to boast a larger internal memory chip. Since upgrades could not necessarily be performed on the system itself, Nintendo made its games better over the years by packing more processing power into its cartridges. Musically, this allowed for primitive canned samples of various percussion instruments, which made the soundtracks more realistic (MP3, 267KB).

As you can hear from the sample, Nintendo music was still organized according to the original spec, with melody, a bass line, and drum sounds on separate tracks. The limitations of this format did nothing to hurt the music of 1990's Final Fantasy, which many gamers rate as the best game soundtrack ever written for the NES. Composer Nobuo Uematsu, who wrote the original cinematic-sounding score continues to compose music for the Final Fantasy franchise today.

On the PC, game music took an incredible leap forward with the introduction of sound cards. Sound cards around 1988 fell into three general categories: Ad-Lib, Sound Blaster, and Roland. Ad-lib was the original FM synthesis card, which recreated instrument tones through mathematical adjustment of pitches. This method was inexpensive, and powered many of the electronic keyboards in the 80s, and sounded amazing after spending years with the PC's internal speaker.

The Creative Labs Sound Blaster was a latecomer to the sound card market, and attempted to break Ad-Lib's stranglehold on the market by incorporating digital sound as well as FM synthesis on its card. Given that Creative Labs is essentially the only mass-market soundcard manufacturer around today, it's apparent that their early attempts at proliferation paid off.

The Roland MT-32 had very little foothold in the consumer market, but it was on every musician's wishlist. Instead of relying on FM synthesis, the MT-32 stored a variety of recorded sound samples which gave instruments a new level of reality. This wavetable synthesis idea is still used today in modules like the SC-8850. With a price measured in hundreds of dollars, it was the module of choice for game developers to write their music on, even though the FM recreations of those scores could never match up.

Sierra On-Line, the prominent graphical game designer of the time and makers of all the "<insert noun here>" Quest games struck a deal in 1988, adding music that utilized sound cards in all their games after King's Quest IV. As more and more gamers realized how much real music could enhance a gaming experience, soundcards became more standardized, and now they're generally included in any new computer.

The plight of those who couldn't afford sound cards worsened. As game developers used their new sound toys to their fullest advantage, they were also responsible for making their music backwards compatible with the internal speaker. This resulted in great songs being reduced to the "one note at a time" variety. After soundcards became popular, music that was written specifically for the internal speaker actually sounded better than the new transcribed music. After several more Quest games, Sierra finally decided that they would no longer use the internal speaker in new games. Gamers either had to play in silence or go sell their cat for a soundcard.

As game music gained acceptance on the PC scene, a game's soundtrack became as important as art direction and animation. Composers with computer skills were brought in to write a game's music during its development cycle. Gone were the days of the developer tossing his own tunes into the mix at the last minute.

The early 90s saw a wide array of fresh and inspired soundtracks. LucasArts (then LucasFilm games) has always had a reputation for strong games and even stronger music. When they released The Secret of Monkey Island in 1990, it was the first game with a strongly-cohesive musical feeling, helped by its fresh reggae beat (MP3, 265KB).

LucasArts also created the imuse system of game music composition, which was unfortunately discontinued after a few games. In games featuring imuse, like Monkey Island 2 in 1991, the musical soundtrack never stopped. Instead, the theme from one room of the game smoothly transitioned into the next theme when a character walked around. This is amazing, when you consider that for any given song, a transitional phrase must be written for every bar, so that there's a musical phrase for every possible instant that the player could move around. I remember spending quite a bit of time just wandering between rooms, to hear the ingenuity of composer Michael Land's transitions.

Another company known for its great soundtracks was Origin Systems (which has since been bought and destroyed by conglomerate, Electronic Arts). The 1990 game, Ultima VI, had the protagonist attempting to restore peace between two fantasy races, humans and gargoyles. While traveling in their respective homelands, players heard each race's theme, fully orchestrated. At the climactic moment, when both races had made peace and joined together, I was startled to hear both themes played simultaneously! The joining of melody and countermelody was not only refreshing, it was significant to the underlying theme of the game.

Following Ultima VI, Origin released Savage Empire, which spiced up the game music world with tribal-themed music. It was with this game that the limitations of music technology began to show their seams. The theme from one section of the game depicts an alien city that became too powerful and fell to chaos (MP3, 1.5MB). The music, which must have sounded great in the composer's mind, almost falls flat on its coda in FM synthesis.

Tomorrow: Super Nintendo and General MIDI

I've discovered that I have an innate talent to draw out sales (much like my other talent of drawing out speed trap cops who like to zoom out behind me for a half mile before pulling a fake-out and turning off again). Everytime I buy a fairly expensive console system or piece of hardware, the company will enact a permanent discount or offer rebates on future purchases. Had I waited until now to pick up that GameCube, I could have saved about $60 on what I bought. Back in yesteryear, I bought a new N64 for $100 right before they permanently discounted it to $60.

If you have any use for this talent, please contact me so I can send you my curriculum vitae.

The basketballers lost to Solid Waste Express last night, 94 - 29. They were a lot of fun to play with though, and didn't take the game too seriously.

Congressman King vies for Diplomatic Position
A bunch of movies I've never seen nominated for Oscars

"Hotness is pretty much physical. You're not gonna talk to some girl that's ugly. I don't usually date girls long enough to know their personalities anyway." - Ryan, contestant of ABC's new reality show, "Are You Hot?".

"Have you guys played Maxx Attack yet? Did they run around the court like this? [pantomimes classic crybaby sign] That dude [points to guy in earshot] has gotta be the cryingest motherf_cker ever." - Solid Waste Express team member on #5 Maxx and his team, Maxx Attack (paraphrased)

I remember a time when the Family Circus used to be "aw shucks" cute, even if it was never hilarious. Nowadays, it's either hip Internet throwaway jokes or it has a personality crisis and wants to be a boxed strip rather than a single frame. Yesterday's comic is a prime example -- having a caption and also a balloon text just doesn't work if they're sequential. It just says that the cartoonist ran out of space and had no better place to jam the text in. A comic that tries this and succeeds is Close to Home, since either the balloon or the caption can be read out of order and the humour is preserved.

I think it's about time for Family Circus and Dennis the Menace to finish off and get replaced by Classic versions of the same, like Peanuts. There should be a Classic Calvin and Hobbes too, while we're at it, and the Boondocks should not take up a whole third of a page just for a two shade gradient background and a throwaway joke about famous black people.

And stop with the Garfield. How many ways can you kill a spider?

Today is closing day. Tomorrow's update might be prepared in advance, like a famous dead guy's obit, with any house news held off until Saturday.

Yesterday's notable search terms:

pedro card game, prokofiev defected, leonardo dissecting bodies, joseph ehrenberger virginia tech, prokofiev the flaming angel, what time signature has 6 beats, who urged queen elizabeth to begin a colony in north america, scopophobia, president garfield dancing shot, toll plaza capacity and level of service, woody english trumpet

A Waste of Money

The noble Rip-Off: life's way of teaching you the value of your money, or reminding you that you have far too much disposable income. We've all made purchases in our lifetime that we immediately regretted, usually because they didn't live up to the hype and expense. Other times it's just impatience -- you knew there was a water fountain at the end of the ride, but you went and bought that eight dollar Dixie cup of Dr. Thunder in Disney World anyhow.

I remember being a kid at Christmas, hyped up for the latest super toy only to find out that it pretty much sucked. The mentality of a kid at that point of realization has two stages: first comes intense disappointment, followed by a stubborn determination to continue playing with said toy (It looked like more fun in the commercial! I must not be playing with it right. Maybe it gets more fun if I keep playing with it. At least I should play with it long enough to get my parents' money's worth. See, it's fun now, isn't it? Smile).

Here are three outrageous rip-offs from my own past. Share your own in the comments section!

The Super Scope
Everyone in the 80s was familiar with the Nintendo Zapper -- the light gun that allowed you to shoot birds in Duck Hunt, or in my case, made the cartoon dog laugh continuously at all my misses. When the Super Nintendo came out, it was only logical that Nintendo would create a new light gun for the new system.

What they ended up with was an over-the-shoulder-boulder-launcher that consumed six AA batteries every four hours and caused acute tendonitis. In the entire time I owned it, there were only two games made for it (there may have been more after it was relegated to the dustbin). One came with the gun and was called Super Scope 6 -- a peculiar name for a cartridge that had only 2 mini-games on it. The other, Battle Clash involved shooting at big boss robots on the screen. After nine robots, the game was over. I do believe both games had been beaten in the first twelve hours of ownership.

Music Theory from Zarlino to Schenker: A Bibliography and Guide
It's like a three pound birdwatcher's guide to dead music theorists (a theorist is a "one-off" from a composer -- the latter writes the music while the former makes up some rules and tries to fit the music into them. Meanwhile the "two-off" musicologist is writing about how people felt when they read about the rules). Because Tallahassee is not a particularly cultural town, I paid $85 for this textbook at the only music store in town. They accepted no returns, and I opened the book maybe four times in an entire semester.

Now in general, compendiums are useful and interesting because there's so much information in one place. However, opening up this tome reveals no centerfolds of dead sexy theorists (your choice as to whether that phrase has one or two adjectives) and no Junior Jumble of fun facts and torrid romances from their lives. Instead you get a brief biography with important terms in CAPS and a list of other sources to search for real information. This could be the start of the worst treasure hunt ever -- at least in Zelda when they say, "I wonder why he told us to follow him. Maybe we should follow him!" you can expect a couple rupees for your troubles if you decide to follow him.

Virginia Tech Three-Meal Dining Plan
The bane of college freshmen everywhere, this meal plan seems so reasonable at first glance. You get three square meals a day, all-you-can-eat, and don't have to worry about the dollar value of any particular entrée you get. Sure it's expensive, but your parents can trust that you'll eat healthily (according to the daily allowance pyramid scheme) and won't run out of meals accidentally before the end of the term.

Then, you get to college and realize that no one in their right mind has the time or inclination to eat three meals a day, and that the "all-you-can-eat" label is misleading because the meals are offered at the worst dining halls on campus. I'd sooner listen to Katie Melua sing Nine Million Bicycles ten million times than eat another meal at Dietrick (the old Dietrick, not the new multicultural international cuisine version of '04). By the end of the first semester, I'd used maybe 60% of the meals. Meal plans aren't like minutes or leave time -- whatever is left at the end of the term gets swallowed up, never to be seen again.

(Today is also 12 of 12. Mine will be posted tomorrow. You should participate!)

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

5:22 AM: I believe it was twenty-two degrees outside when I woke up this morning at 5:22.

5:36 AM: Amber has gone Green, and every morning after my shower, she makes sure I turned the water off completely.

5:45 AM: Checking my auctions in World of Warcraft. It's no eBay, but I'm trying to save up some gold to create this .

5:47 AM: If these cats ever figured out how to work latches, I would be rendered obsolete immediately.

6:00 AM: The commute to work is always a blur. In truth, I don't even really wake up until I'm actually sitting at my desk.

7:15 AM: It's always comforting to look out my window and see the building of our direct competitor looming six stories higher than us.

10:46 AM: Heading home through Herndon so I can be there when UPS arrives.

10:59 AM: In my newly-arranged living room, the kitties can immediately pop their heads up and see me when I walk in the door.

11:38 AM: Ham and mayonnaise sandwich on potato bread for lunch.

12:48 PM: Opening a mini gift from Rebecca, who is in Guatemala and left me with a big box full of treats and toys to open all month long. A year ago today we met for the first time, so we're counting this as an anniversary of sorts. Happy anniversary!

3:43 PM: Our recycling is picked up every week, but according to the gargantuan pile of newspapers I took to the curb today, I haven't taken advantage of this service since January 4, 2008. Of course, it started to rain and sleet immediately afterwards.

4:59 PM: Anna and Ella stop by in the afternoon to play Scrabble and show off. Ella likes to play Peek-a-boo (4MB WMV).

See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site !

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

6:45 AM: On my way to work in the morning. I'm trying out this crazy new schedule where I wake up an hour later than usual.	6:57 AM: A view of the nearly full moon through my office window.
7:12 AM: My plant is either overwatered or not watered enough -- there's no middle ground.	8:23 AM: Working hard on the new 24" monitor which provides just enough cover for me to hide behind as people walk past my office.
1:04 PM: Arriving home for lunch, at the house I purchased exactly five years ago today.	1:15 PM: Lunchtime for Kitties.
1:23 PM: Lunchtime for Humans includes leftover corned beef and cabbage.	4:02 PM: After the third cumulative hour of network troubleshooting, I discover that the network encryption key has an OH in it, not a ZERO.
4:56 PM: Cleaning the grill in anticipation of Steak Night.	6:04 PM: Booty gets some of our Steak... NECKBONE!
6:32 PM: Filet Mignon for dinner!	8:32 PM: Rebecca gets her present of a Netbook to take to Puerto Rico. Happy Valentine's Day / 12 of 12 / Five Year House Day!

See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site!

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

6:50 AM: Waking up a little later than usual, since I'm planning on working from home today.		6:51 AM: Checking out the window to make sure we didn't have another blizzard overnight. It looks a little like toothpaste.
7:03 AM: This generic hair gel is cheap and effective, but why does it have to smell like seagull poop?		7:21 AM: It shouldn't count on your subscription if you get three days of newspapers all at the same time.
7:27 AM: Rebecca takes my car to work since it's a little more trustworthy on what passes for a plowed road in Loudoun County.		8:50 AM: Telecommuting.
10:11 AM: My boss keeps me on task by sitting in the chair behind me.		12:04 PM: Turkey sandwich and chips for lunch, but only for ME.
4:10 PM: After finishing up with work, I head outside to tackle the giant mound of ice in front of our house. In the name of progress, it is now a parking spot.		5:57 PM: Doing a load of Friday night laundry. Being cooped up for a week tends to make one smelly.
8:00 PM: After helping a neighbour to push a stranded car out of the snow, we went to the Ice House Cafe for early Valentine's Day Dinner, where I had the ostrich steak.		8:35 PM: Rebecca, just before consuming a "Sheba" -- chocolate mousse with a touch of rum and other sweet things.
Bonus Picture: The blizzard was much less lenient at my parents' home thirty miles away. Luckily, no one was underneath when the carport collapsed!

See more 12 of 12ers at Chad's site!

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

5:32 AM: Alarm clock math.		5:44 AM: Showered for work.
5:58 AM: Since we're no longer the majority tenant, I now work in the BECHTEL building.		6:47 AM: Coding.
12:59 PM: Someone with an identical car parks next to me every day. Twins!		1:15 PM: Welcomed home by cats.
1:27 PM: Turkey and deer sausage sandwich with mustard and onions.		2:10 PM: Working from home with Booty.
4:12 PM: My current nemesis is string rattle.		5:30 PM: With no more episodes of 24 to run to, I'm rewatching the non-bad episodes of Community.
6:34 PM: Chicken fingers for dinner.		7:30 PM: Watching Justified with a belly Booty.

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

5:43 AM: Showered and ready for work.

5:48 AM: Waiting for the seat warmers to kick in.

6:10 AM: Getting my single serving of hot chocolate in the freezing office.

6:52 AM: Finishing off this proposal.

12:57 PM: Gathering the snow war supplies out of the shed for tomorrow.

1:06 PM: Leftover pizza for lunch.

1:40 PM: Playing Hearthstone.

2:22 PM: Time for a lovey catnap.

4:00 PM: Exercising with My Name is Earl.

6:58 PM: Rebecca is home!

8:00 PM: Cornish Game Hen for dinner, paired with more Olympics.

9:00 PM: Commence the snow.

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

4:58 AM: Ready to work.

5:15 AM: Lonely parking lot at this hour.

7:12 AM: Working on REST services.

11:38 AM: Driving home for lunch, listening to Nappy Roots.

11:46 AM: Welcome committee.

11:51 AM: Leftover pizza for lunch.

12:14 PM: Back to work, with distractions.

3:22 PM: Putting the finishing touches on a new bookcase.

5:30 PM: Exercising with Better Call Saul.

6:58 PM: Playing Far Cry 4 from the Weekend Steam Sale.

8:16 PM: A very frigid grilling adventure.

8:30 PM: Burger Night!

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

5:10 AM: Showered and ready for work, with a much better camera than last month.

5:32 AM: Arriving in the office.

9:00 AM: View from my desk.

11:33 AM: Driving home for lunch.

11:48 AM: Welcomed home by cats.

11:57 AM: Leftover corned beef for lunch.

12:24 PM: Back to work for a bit, while Booty licks stuff.

2:01 PM: Trying out the beta of the new game, Overwatch.

2:30 PM: Time for a catnap.

4:23 PM: Sydney admires my vacuuming job.

6:02 PM: Fried chicken for dinner.

8:30 PM: Installing and playing around with the new Amazon Lumberyard game engine.

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

5:34 AM: Showered and ready for work.

6:10 AM: Breakfast in the office.

9:00 AM: Still working.

11:01 AM: Gross weather is gross.

11:35 AM: Lunch and the news.

12:52 PM: Someone's awake from their hour of complaining in the crib.

1:13 PM: Gross lentils are gross.

1:58 PM: Self-play.

3:45 PM: Practicing her couch lunges.

5:14 PM: Mandatory nap time.

8:38 PM: Making dinner.

9:31 PM: Shrimp scampi and the Olympics (note the patented "Keep Maia from watching the Olympics" partition).

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

6:29 AM: Showered and ready for the day.

6:41 AM: Bagel for breakfast.

7:17 AM: Squeezing in some work in the early hours.

8:48 AM: Breakfast with Maia while Rebecca goes to a PT conference / class.

11:10 AM: The grandparents stop by to get their Valentine.

11:45 AM: Eating bread. Just bread.

1:14 PM: "No, daddy, don't say that! This is bunny's warren not 'lizabeth's warren."

2:28 PM: This nap does not seem to be very naplike.

2:57 PM: Catnap.

4:15 PM: She'll only play if there's music on the stand.

5:41 PM: Dinner at Ford's Fish Shack after finding that The V has closed permanently.

6:39 PM: "I missed you, mommy!"

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

6:08 AM: Showered and ready for work.

6:19 AM: Bagel for breakfast.

7:25 AM: At work in the basement office.

8:26 AM: Checking in on the breakfast club.

9:25 AM: Someone's recently viewed a Netflix documentary about bird mating rituals.

11:32 AM: First Popeyes since the beginning of the pandemic. (It hit the spot).

12:50 PM: Running on the treadmill and rewatching Fargo, Season Three.

2:40 PM: Gifts in the mail!

3:56 PM: Flexing my PHP skills with a simple content management system that auto-shares to Facebook and Twitter.

4:48 PM: Daily Zelda Hour is getting us through this cold, cold winter.

6:21 PM: Chuy's for dinner.

7:12 PM: Consistently picking the books with the least literary value at bedtime.

Chad Darnell's 12 of 12

12 pictures of your day on the 12th of every month

5:41 AM: Showered and ready for work.

6:02 AM: Bagel for breakfast on my new Flexispot desk.

6:57 AM: Getting ready for the bus stop.

7:41 AM: Writing about business development.

7:54 AM: Just saw a trash truck drive by.

8:07 AM: 30 minutes of Beat Saber cardio. My regimen includes beating Spin Eternally on Expert three consecutive times each day.

3:23 PM: Rebecca solves Maia's treasure hunt. (Maia is reading the Key to the Treasure series by Peggy Parrish right now).

3:47 PM: Reading Trucktown books.

5:17 PM: Joe's pizza for dinner.

5:42 PM: Ian is pretending to be a Pokemon who he thinks is called "Grossflower" but is actually "Glossifleur".

7:13 PM: Writing strategy guides.

8:05 PM: Building a new web storefront.