New Edition Day

The URI! Zone turns 19 today having reached Nunavut's age of majority in style, and it can now drink and hump legally in Canada's northernmost territory. The fact that I moved it into THE CLOUD this year confuses the issue slightly, as it is now a card-carrying member of Websites Without Borders and transcends any earthly rules.

Here's how the URI! Zone looks by the numbers, for any statisticians in the audience:

• over 156,830 unique visitors since 2003
• 3520 daily blog posts since 2001
• 7736 comments from 143 unique visitors since 2003
• over $2500 spent on hosting fees since 2003
• exactly $222 in prizes given away in caption and name-that-tune contests since 2006
• $0 in income from ad revenue, because ads are stupid
• 6736 images, MP3s, and other files, totaling 256 megabytes
• Received more popular votes than Windows 8 in the 2012 Presidential Election

The traditional blog has become a rare commodity since the heady days of Web 2.0, with actively updated blogs reduced to a trickle barely worth seeking out, and sometimes I feel like a miner freshly arrived in California in 1855, struggling futilely to recapture the magic that once was. The quality of this blog has ebbed and flowed over the years like the melancholy exhortations of a thrift store accordion, but it has always been a comfortable beacon of routine that you can count on for a few minutes of wasted time over coffee before you start your high paying jobs (weekend traffic is nearly zero).

My website has had a nomadic existence across institutes of higher education where I needlessly prolonged my adolescence and essentially "crashed on the couch" of any free web hosts available, until I cashed out into a software engineering career and could finally afford real servers and domain names.

By longevity alone, I win at blogging. I plan to abuse this tenure by reposting old content under the title "Classic URI! Zone" and posting one-liners about how I hate Mondays and love lasagna until I've killed all remaining goodwill, and then I'll simply post links to my latest quiz results concerning which Muppet I am like. My final post will either reveal that I've been dead the whole time or have become a secret lumberjack.

Regardless of quality, I definitely plan to keep the website going to hit the big 20 in a year's time, at which point you'll be navigating the Internet with your Occulus Rift goggles and going to the next page by mime-slapping the air in front of you. Thanks for your continued readership and friendship!

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