Thursday, January 14, 2010

List Day: 2010 Resolutions

  1. Start a young adult fiction series with the "next big overused thing" in it, because vampires are retarded.

  2. Compete professionally in one of the following sports: football, skeeball, bog snorkeling, or cheese rolling.

  3. Use jQuery to improve the URI! Zone's interface to the point where you can navigate by staring at a link and blinking with your left eye. (The right eye opens up the context menu).

  4. Successfully fly through an international airport on every continent except Antarctica while transporting potassium nitrate in my underwear.

  5. Create a remake of LOST in which Jack dies in the first episode and time travel is consigned to a single episode.

  6. Compose an operetta featuring twenty musicians playing the game, Operation, and touching the metal sides according to the sheet music.

  7. Introduce roaming herds of bison in suburban Loudoun County, because the horses we already have are no longer exciting.

  8. Accept a post in the Obama administration as the Czar of Russia.

  9. Create a competitor to Facebook, called Buttbook, which shows profiles from a fresh, new angle.

  10. Invent a speakerphone that emanates the scent of farts, so people who take all their calls by speakerphone are compelled to close their office doors out of embarassment.

Did you make resolutions this year?

Meet Roxxxy the robotic girlfriend
Beheaded fish, unknown intruder
Bookie refuses to pay out $11 million on snow bet

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