Friday, December 23, 2005
There's a Mariott Springhill Suites in Herndon next to the Fairfax County Parkway, but the sign is busted, so all you can see from the road is "cHill Suites". That, in my opinion, is a much better place to stay.I don't think I've ever heard a single remix I've liked by Mylo. It takes zero talent to loop a one-bar vamp for four minutes, and even less to think you are being artistic by doing so.I was roused from my slumbering party last night by incessant rapping around 11:15 PM. It wasn't Eminem making a housecall, but two Loudoun County policemen knocking on my neighbour's door and shining flashlights in the windows. Eventually they moved around behind the house and went in the patio door, although I don't know if they jimmied in or someone unlocked the door for them. After several minutes of flashlight-searching in the basement (during which time some lights finally came on upstairs), they left the house the way they came and returned to their squad cars. What could it have been? A drug deal? An immigration raid? The occupants may only speak Spanish, but there's only two of them living in the house. Fairfax County has more overflowing houses any day of the week. The mystery thickens like the layer of fat on a tin of leftover boiled chicken.Why does biweekly mean every two weeks instead of twice a week? And why are the hot/cold dials in a car called Climate Control when the only way your car can control the climate is by driving farther south?People are starting to post their "2005 in Review" posts, so I'd better jump on the bandwagon next week so I can remain topical. Maybe I'll devote the entire week to such a thing, so I don't have to come out with original topics, like "What's in my Bellybutton?"I recently received an e-mail from Sony saying "We have reactivated your Everquest account for 21 free days. Please come back and play." I played Everquest when it first came out, back around 1998 or so and canceled the account mere months later. That was a different era, when online gaming meant hogging the phone line, and it was perfectly acceptable to play an online RPG for three months and only get to level 18. I had a Bard named Squiggy, and all I did was "kite" wisps so I could sell some expensive loot whose name I don't recall. The day before I closed that account because the game was excessively dull, I stripped him naked and gave away all my gear to other people in the realm. Now, I play Warcraft and have a Priest named Plinky. As you can see, my names are as cool as ever.Today, my dad is making is annual batch of Christmas cookies from three genera: stop n' go, peanut butter, and sugar. The problem with Christmas is that it's distinctly lacking in any chocolate-based cookies (fudge is not a cookie). When I have big family Christmases someday, there will be nothing but Soft-Batch-style chocolate chip cookies as far as The Eye can see. And The Eye will be a Fantastic-Four-style superhero with super-vision, so you can damn well bet that he'll see pretty far. It's clobberin' time.I did go to work today, but I'll be taking off at noon for some movie madness. Tomorrow morning, I'll be heading out to my parent's house where I'll spend the weekend with my massive extended family of 4 and then return home on Sunday night. I'd stay longer but I'm working on Monday and my kids would get lonely and probably eat each other.Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. Tune in on Sunday for a very special episode of The URI! Zone. Dog frozen to railroad tracks A Milwaukee firefighter was tricked by three other firefighters into performing a lewd act while on duty When your guinea pig is cold or has low self-esteem
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