Thursday, May 21, 2009

Previously on LOST

This post may contain spoilers from the previously aired season finale of LOST.


Geometry has always played a role in LOST -- here we learn that the submarine cannot leave the island unless it travels at a bearing of 310 degrees, with its passengers sitting in the shape of a love triangle. After ten minutes aboard the sub, the characters change their minds and go back to the island, seriously pissing off the set guys who spent all that time making a submarine.


From "Hydrogen Bombs for Dummies", Sayid learns how to delicately remove the explosive core of the twenty-year-old H-bomb, after which he delicately tosses it in a knapsack and delicately throws it over his shoulder.

Sun dons the thankless mantle of the "They Took My Boy!" Plot Device character and spends a good third of the episode walking along the beaches asking people about her husband and eliciting exposition.


Another quarter of the episode is spent on brand new characters who we have zero investment in.

Sayid and Jack try to disguise themselves in Dharma outfits, but unfortunately they fail to realize that there were no Iraqis on the island in the 70s. Sayid is delicately shot while trying to protect his backpack bomb from the shooting. Jack is happy, because he now has someone else to fix. Alternately, he's thinking back to the halcyon days when there was only one gun on the island and it mattered.


While attempting to flee from the violent Dharma folks, Jack delicately throws Sayid into a van on his back.

Sawyer discovers that Rose and Bernard have spent the past three years acting out the entire plot of Lord of the Rings. Bernard, who wanted to be Frodo, felt he was typecast.

In flashbacks, it is revealed that Jacob has been present in every main character's life. In this stunning reveal, we learn that he gave Jack a candy bar! This was originally supposed to be Hurley's scene, but the writers felt that it would be unbelievable to make Jacob a tattoo artist.


Sawyer channels the rage of the audience after learning that Jack's prime motivation for wanting to change everything that's ever happened is that "Kate doesn't like me".


The writers have discovered that with a properly-placed flashback, any character can have a change of heart to support the desired plotline, and it can be attributed to deep character motivations rather than lazy writers. Here, we learn that Juliette is just as much a pansy as Jack, and they should go off and have little pansy kids together.


When the dig site becomes magnetized, a chain-link plot twist wraps around Juliette's legs (though surprisingly, it misses her shelving cleavage) and she gets sucked into a mineshaft.


Here we learn that the core of a hydrogen bomb will survive gunfire, getting crushed in a van under Sayid, and a quarter mile drop down a mineshaft, but it will not survive a dying chick with a rock.

Thanks to LOST-Media for the screen captures.

LOST Season Finale analysis
Bodybuilders flee competition after drug testers arrive
Pfizer offers free drugs to the jobless

tagged as media | permalink | 2 comments


Previous Post: Maryland Day


Next Post: Friday Fragments

 

You are currently viewing a single post from the annals of URI! Zone history. The entire URI! Zone is © 1996 - 2020 by Brian Uri!. Please see the About page for further information.

Jump to Top
Jump to the Front Page


May 2009
SMTWHFS
12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31
BIRTHDAYS
BLOGLOG
12/11
11/06
10/20
07/11

OLD POSTS
Old News Years J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
J F M A M J
J A S O N D
visitors since November 2003