Tuesday, November 04, 2008

List Day: Top Six Reasons to Vote for John McClane

  • In Die Hard with a Vengeance, the terrorists placed a bomb in a school. John McClane worked hard to ensure that NO CHILD WAS LEFT BEHIND.

  • John McClane cares about the ECONOMY and INTERNET SECURITY. In the same movie, he thwarted the attempts of villains who had loaded up dump trucks with gold bullion and then tried to escape through a series of tubes.

  • John McClane has a proven track record against all sorts of TERRORISTS, including the standard American and British villains, as well as the classic German villains.

  • John McClane has a black friend named Jesus. This puts him in a unique position to bridge the gaps of RACE AND RELIGION in our country.

  • In the fourth Die Hard film, John McClane is driving on a ridiculously contrived interstate with arching exit ramps and multi-leveled lanes that don't actually seem to go anywhere. Through clever maneuvering, he tricks an F-35 into destroying this INTERSTATE TO NOWHERE.

  • John McClane cares about CHANGE. The pay phone features prominently in Die Hard with a Vengeance.

  • Vote John McClane today!

    • Rear-view cameras don't show that kind of rear
    Stevens juror actually went to the horse races
    Nudit group wants clothing-optional polling site

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