Friday, June 10, 2022

List Day: 6 In-Office Exercises Killed By Remote Work

  1. The Half Crouch: When you enter a multi-person restroom and, without stopping, fluidly crouch down just far enough to see if any of the stalls are occupied.

  2. Whole World In His Hand: Balancing a soda, mouse, and laptop all on one hand so you can reach your badge with the other to get through a security door.

  3. The Uppercut: Again in the restroom, when you make a fist and punch upwards into the paper towel dispenser to make enough room for the bottom towel to come out without ripping it or pulling seven other towels with it.

  4. The Leaning Tree: When you're in the elevator waiting for it to act upon your button press and you lean surreptitiously, just far enough to the left to see if anyone is approaching the elevator from the lobby.

  5. The Button Maker: When you throw open the Keurig lid to eject the old K-cup with verve and then mash it shut with great force on the new K-cup, remembering that one time when the K-cup didn't get punctured and water went everywhere.

  6. The Finger Shimmy: When the restroom trash bag is billowed out because of the HVAC system so you try to push your used paper towel down into the bag without actually touching the bag itself.

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