I've been swamped at work which justifies the lack of updates. Next week looks like more of the same so don't get too anxious to read new things here.

My sister sent some pictures of her house in Christiansburg. I had to mow that lawn twice in a row when it was choked in thigh-high weeds.

Floating disembodied heads
Where Saddam hid the biological weapons
The Star Wars Kid is back in the news
Fighting Spam with Spam
Music Industry begins hunting down file sharers
File sharers gain a powerful ally that people will take seriously

The weekend was a pretty productive one. On Friday night we went out an watched The Bourne Supremacy, which was about as good as the original. The theatre was sold out and we ended up in the front, and the hyperkinetic handheld camera filming effect, which is very in these days, did not make for very intelligible car chases, but it was fine as long as no one was prone to motion sickness. Afterwards, we came back and shot some pool until late.

On Saturday and Sunday, I spent some time working in the basement and also got through some more reading of my new books. I also went grocery shopping at the nearest Shoppers Food Warehouse, where they've recently installed a security camera over every cashier line. Strangely, the cameras are all pointed at the cashiers and not the customers...

My trip to the dentist yesterday was uneventful and exactly like every other trip in my dental repertoire (although they did locate the Mickey Mouse pendant I lost in my nose at age 15). The visit began with dirty looks and voodoo curses when I explained how long it had been since my last confession cleaning, and the orderly donned her thickest "we're going to find a dead muskrat behind his left molar" latex gloves.

After a quick round of X-Rays, she returned to the room with the dire news that my upper wisdom teeth were coming in sideways and threatening to crush my upper front teeth like an origami bird in a trash compactor. My quick thinking at the forefront, I pointed out that the X-Rays were upside down since my upper wisdom teeth were actually already grown, and hanging off the ends like blue bells in Scotland (see X-Ray above). She quickly realized that the other orderly had inverted the slides, and ran out of the room, returning soon after with dire warnings that my lower wisdom teeth were coming in sideways and threatening to crush my lower front teeth like a sumo wrestler in a hen house.

Normally this would alarm me, but I've lived with my teeth for a pretty long time now, and we have a reasonably honest relationship with each other. Icebergs have moved faster than my teeth in the past ten years. My former dentist, Dr. Lasky, thought it best to leave the wisdom teeth in until they started causing problems, since taking them out might drastically shift my trumpet embouchure for no health gain. I mentioned this yesterday and their diagnosis shifted to point out that there were cavities back there. Then I pressed a little further, to find that actually it was just that cavities were likely to appear there without proper care.

Based on this information, I have created a playbook describing what the evil sideways wisdom teeth plan to do to bring about destruction in my mouth:

The next step in the dental procedure was a pamphlet, titled "Everyone Needs Fluoride!", which I was supposed to read immediately. The pamphlet, no relation to the classic book, "Everybody Poops!", was five pages of "the dangers of not getting enough fluoride", followed by an advertisement for the pharmaceutical company that made the pamphlet. Not surprisingly, this was followed by an offer for an extra dose of fluoride ($30, not covered by insurance) which I declined. The cleaning was quick and painless although someone really needs to invent two things: dental tools that don't sound like power tools, and tastier cleaning solution. I left with a fridge magnet, a toothbrush, a referral to an oral surgeon for wisdom teeth removal, compliments about my unnaturally straight teeth, and an admonishment to come back in six months instead of six years.

What do you, the dear reader, think? Should I get my wisdom teeth extracted this year? In order to get a second opinion from a licensed professional, I consulted with my local oral surgeon at the McDonald's on Sterling Boulevard. He prescribed a 10 piece Chicken McNugget meal, and I have to say that it was quite tasty. That's my kind of oral surgery.

List Day: Best and Worst

Condiment	Best: Mayonaisse Worst: Relish
Mario Game	Best: Super Mario World Worst: Super Mario 64
Actor	Best: Guy Pearce Worst: Cuba Gooding Jr.
Actress	Best: Nicole Kidman Worst: Julia Stiles
Cheese	Best: Munster Worst: American
Season of 24	Best: Fifth Worst: Second
Vegetable	Best: None Worst: All of Them
Season of Alias	Best: Second Worst: Third
Movie Trilogy	Best: Back to the Future Worst: The Matrix
Beer	Best: Guinness Worst: Steel Reserve
Recent Best Picture Oscar Movie	Best: American Beauty Worst: Shakespeare in Love
Internet Phenomenon	Best: YouTube Worst: ytmnd and its derivatives
Fruit	Best: Grapes Worst: Tomatoes
Apple	Best: Apple Worst: Orange

Happy Birthday Emily Green!

Trip Day: Spokane

Part I of III

The first leg of our July vacation took us to Spokane, Washington, a medium sized city that's closer to Idaho than the Pacific Ocean and encased in a bubble of hot, dry, Midwestern air that corrupts the acoustics of the city name into "spo-CAN". As cities go, Spokane was fairly pleasant, with a like-named river running through the center, and all manner of bridges, waterfalls, and weird art decorating the downtown area for the benefit of tourists.

A giant grassy park sits on an island in the middle of the river, filled with the usual mix of homeless people listening to heavy metal on their radios, shaved ice stands, goose poop, and a permanent fair, complete with a small roller coaster resembling the Scooby Doo at King's Dominion, and bumper cars.

We had come to Spokane, along with the rest of the population of Grinnell, Iowa, for the wedding of one of Rebecca's college friends, and the couple had put together a complete itinerary for the out-of-towners which comprised most of the attendance. In a contrast of ambition, our wedding encouraged out-of-towners to stay at the beautiful Days Inn in the industrial park of Leesburg, and drink $800 worth of wine at the venue itself.

After a pre-wedding pizza party the night before, and several rounds of "Dirty Mad Libs", followed by breakfast in the all-you-can-eat bacon bar at the hotel, the wedding itself took place at the Patsy Clark mansion in western Spokane. Although we were initially confused and believed that it might have been the home of a country singer, it turns out that Patsy Clark was only notorious for having a girl's name and being rich, having earned his money through mining in the 1800s. The wedding was even shorter than an episode of the Office with commercials cut out -- a fine accomplishment for any outdoor wedding whose climate could be confused with the temperature of the human body -- and it was followed by five hours of partying before the noise curfew, and two hours of bar'ing behind the hotel afterwards.

Because the new couple apparently had an incredibly high tolerance for entertaining guests, the third day of the wedding weekend opened with a brunch at their home, replete with bagels, Starbucks, and mimosas. Afterwards, we braved the mid-90s heat to explore such classy Spokane attractions as the mall and a Mexican restaurant.

Our flight out of Spokane on Sunday was scheduled for 6:50 PM at Spokane International, although "International" seems to be a distinction assigned to any old airport these days (see also, Energy Star appliances) since there were only 16 gates to depart from. In spite of this, our flight never appeared on the departing flights board throughout the evening, and we finally just started roaming the concourse around 6:40, looking for United signs. We made it on the tiny plane, which had overhead bins the size of labradors and required us to walk across the tarmac, check all our bags planeside, and climb up some stairs into an artery with only two seats per side.

Our flight arrived in San Francisco around 9 PM, and we were welcomed by a gust of frosty 60 degree air.

To be continued tomorrow...

Review Day

There are no major spoilers in these reviews.

The Official Book of Ultima by Shay Addams:
This book documents the history and motivations behind the creator of the Ultima computer game series, Richard Garriott and Origin Systems, and was released in the early 90s before video game history was even a thing. I remember reading this book cover to cover, sometimes rereading continuously, in my youth, but it managed to find its way into a library donation box around the time I went to college. I picked it up again for nostalgia's sake after reading The Fat Man's book. It has aged surprisingly well, although your enjoyment of the material is directly dependent on how many Ultima games you played.

Final Grade: B+

The Good Stuff by Schuyler Fisk:
I liked the song, Afterglow, when it popped up on Pandora, but the full album isn't as strong. The unique timbre of her voice is smoothed away to nothing memorable by the steam iron of too many similar, maudlin songs. None of the songs are necessarily bad -- they just shouldn't be absorbed in rapid succession (not unlike nicotine patches). Of the two singers I discovered at the same time, I prefer Erin McCarley.

Final Grade: C

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows:
This sequel is slightly better than the original, although it's less about the plot and more about tagging along for the ride. It's an entertaining two hours full of witticisms and explosions, and is heavily dependent on Robert Downey Jr's breezy characterization of the title character.

Final Grade: B+

Burn Notice, Season Five:
The fourth season of Burn Notice was noticeably worse than the previous seasons, because there's only so many times you can put an even bigger evil mastermind/conspiracy behind the one just vanquished before people start rolling their eyes. There are ways to fix this and thankfully, Burn Notice doesn't go the Raymond Feist way of contradicting an entire series of existing lore and blowing up the universe. Season Five picks up a little danger and momentum while still maintaining its case-of-the-day structure and snappy dialogue. No season has matched the first one, but there are some great episodes mixed into the overall plotlines.

Final Grade: B

End-of-the-Month Media Day

New photos have been added to the Life, 2013 album.

Also, we're only 5 days away from the 17th birthday of the URI! Zone. Are there any new features you would like to see? Any new blogs I should link to? New requests for your comment avatars?

Vote BU 2016

Having trouble deciding who to vote for in the upcoming election? Take a look at the BU party platform and consider voting for me! When I'm elected as 45th President, these are the changes you can expect to see enacted:

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger will be my Vice President.


2. Representatives of the great state of Virginia will get 1 extra vote in each roll call.


3. Evite will no longer include a "Maybe" option on invitations.


4. Funding will be provided to immediately reshoot the endings of Dexter and How I Met Your Mother, with updated DVDs distributed to anyone negatively affected by the original endings.


5. All bicycles will be equipped with regulators that force them to stop at road crossings.


6. All small, shaggy, barky, drooly dogs will be replaced with Maine Coons.


7. Personal Bluetooth speakers will be banned on the Appalachian Trail.


8. Kanye West must pass a diction test before releasing another album.


9. Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, and South Dakota will be merged into a single low-population state (Mondahota), with the associated reduction in Senators.


10. Mobile apps will no longer be allowed to translate perfectly useful timestamps into "4 hours ago".


11. The "shaky cam" technique in movies will be banned.


12. Facebook will always show you the Most Recent posts.


13. Coldplay's Fix You will no longer be allowed in TV soundtracks.


14. Supreme Court vacancies will be filled by one of those animals that can accurately predict sports winners, starting with Paul the Octopus.


15. Every time Google cancels one of its applications, they must immediately add 10 new cities to their Google Fiber initiative.


16. Microbreweries will only be allowed to brew 1 IPA at a time.


17. The opening ceremonies of the Olympics will not last longer than 1 hour. To expedite the proceedings, all athletes will be chased by frightful pumas as they march in country by country.


18. All movie studios must stop making superhero movies immediately and indefinitely.


19. All service stations must be converted into either a Sheetz or a Wawa.


20. All procedural delaying tactics in the House or Senate, such as filibustering, must be performed while naked.

Memory Day: Snapshots

This picture was taken two years ago today, on July 26, 2015.

Following an 8-hour train ride out of Munich, we arrived in the tourist town of Grindelwald, where every sign had too many letters on it and every sidewalk had too many Asians on it. We were impressed by the vertical scale of the Alps just minutes away from the single main road in any direction, a far cry from the Blue Ridge mountains that grow imperceptibly steeper over several miles until you suddenly realize you're already at the top and driving down the other side.

We checked into the Hotel Tschuggen, which kept cute rabbits in the back yard, and ate dinner at the Di Salvi Ristorante, whose rotisserie chickens could be smelled from one end of the town to the other.

Review Day

There are no major spoilers in these reviews.

Humans, Season Three:
The third season of this show about human-like robots juggles several interesting ideas but suffers from a few poor side plots (especially one that seems like a mystical wild goose chase). The build up to the climax was great, although the final cliffhanger to set up the 4th season was pretty weak. I'm glad the show was cancelled after this season. Free on Amazon Prime.

Final Grade: B-

Ralph Breaks the Internet:
I liked this sequel to Wreck-it Ralph more than I thought I would. The representation of the Internet in cartoon form is fun, and the film is worth the price of admission just for the various scenes involving all of the Disney princesses. Free on Netflix.

Final Grade: B+

Wednesday by Chris Webby:
This hip-hop album is squarely in the "white hipster" genre, similar to Spose. I enjoyed the rhymes, but the album felt a little on the long side and the rapper's vocal timbre is tiresome to listen to in large doses. Rookie of the Year is a representative track.

Final Grade: B-

Canon PowerShot SX620 HS:
I got this camera for the rare occasions when I want to take a slightly better-than-average photo while understanding that I'll never want to carry around a DSLR. I'm not impressed by the image quality so far -- for my current life where I'm not printing many shots, phone cameras have sufficiently improved to meet my needs.

Final Grade: C+

Ian Week #13 Battle Report

Ian is now 13 weeks old and 14.4 pounds.

His night schedule is starting to get more regular, with a feed around 8 PM, one near 3 AM, and then another around 6 AM. Ian and I continue to have guy time from 8:30 - 11, where we play video games, rewatch The Shield or (recently) take an online course to pass the AWS Machine Learning Specialty exam.

He is excellent at tummy time and can hold his head up better than a brontosaurus with palsy. He can bat and grip things but gets bored of his surroundings pretty quickly. The one thing guaranteed to calm him down is the awful, tinny, monophonic "It's a Small World" rendition played by one of his jungle animals. We can repeat it up to 10 times before he gets bored.

This weekend, we took him to his first restaurant (Calypso at Lake Anne) while Maia was off running with the grandparents. He was unperturbed by the live David Gray covers.

Maia's Art Day

Notable artwork from Maia's kindergarten portfolio

L: I went to Massanutten. (mom)
R: I went to the water park. (waterfall, mom, water slide, dad)

L: I had a big party! (featuring Aunt Carol and Uncle Dave)
R: I like my bunny.

L: I see two cats taking a nap. (mom, tree, cat, nap, me)
R: I see six cats. (cats one, two, three, four, five, six)

L: I see the Cat Town Castle.
R: The caterpillar turned into a butterfly. (me, jar, butterfly)

I see a flower. (grass, me, flower, tree)
I picked the flower. (grass, me, flower, tree)
I put the flower in a vase. (flower, table, vase)
I gave the flower to my mom. (me flower, mom)

L: I see a rainbow.
R: I see a rainbow.