Posts Tagged as inventions

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  1. Wednesday, November 09, 2022:
    Invention Day: The Pedt Saver, Part II     I first introduced the idea for the  Pedt Saver  8 years ago when I had two cats that destroyed the circulation in my feet every night. Now I have zero cats on my feet because one died in 2017 and the other has been exiled to the basement each night because she's deaf and is too loud for a two-child household. Still, I was having sore feet issues from the natural cover weight at the corner of the bed, so I resurrected the idea.   I looked online and realized that this type of device already existed, but at price points over $100. You can charge a lot when you classify your device as a health-related device. Unwilling to spend that much money, I went the cheap route instead and got $10 worth of PVC pi...
  2. Monday, April 27, 2020:
    List Day: 10 Pandemic Business Ideas       Magic Pandemic Balls : Ask the Magic Pandemic Ball a question when you need trustworthy advice on adhering to competing local, state, and federal pandemic guidance.     Peek Costco : Take all of those "watch an eagle raise a family" webcams abandoned since 1999 and point them at Costco entrances. Charge people for online access to the camera at their local store so they know when the lines are shortest.     Flop Ten : Use an algorithm to unearth 10 awful TV shows that your streaming company really needs to recoup losses on, then advertise them on your homepage as "Top Ten in America Right Now!".       NO U REVERSE :...
  3. Monday, September 23, 2019:
    Invention Day: IoT Mouse Trap  The latest idea from the BU skunkworks is an Internet-of-Things-enabled mouse trap.     My mouse trap would allow you to avoid the unpleasant situation where the trap has sprung in a low-traffic area (like the basement crawlspace) during the hottest days of the month. As you search out the source of Death's miasma two weeks too late, you discover a bloated mouse corpse that has already begun to become one with the concrete floor. You jostle the trap while scooping everything up for sealed disposal and the corpse gently pops open to reveal literal scores of adult maggots, like the worst surprise birthday stripper in a cake ever.   Technology has progressed too far to accept that this situation still oc...
  4. Friday, August 10, 2018:
    List Day: 5 More New Parent Inventions   A follow-up to  this post        Sink n' Grow : A nanotechnology-based home where the floors get lower as the baby gets taller, so you don't have to keep moving everything on the low shelves  just a few more inches  out of reach.     Edible Batteries : AA Batteries made from a non-toxic, cruelty-free, gluten-free substance that eliminate the need for that annoying tiny screw protecting every battery alcove on every electronic toy.     Camo-food : Augmented Reality glasses for baby that make the boring dinner puree look exactly like whatever complex carbohydrate undigestable nonsense dad is eating.     Mu...
  5. Monday, September 11, 2017:
    List Day: 5 New Parent Inventions   Feel free to take these to market and reap the profits.       Changing Ramp : A changing table with a built-in 10 degree slant, so when the baby pees on herself it drains down to one end of the table rather than pooling around her body.     Milk-ex : Liberally spray on your baby's neck folds to prevent spit-up milk from collecting there. Non-carcinogenic, unlike Rainex.     Pneumatic Car Seat Straps : Like the Nike shoes in  Back to the Future II , simply place your baby in the car seat and the straps will automatically secure into place at the appropriate level of pressure.     Retractable Velcro : Velcro re...
  6. Tuesday, March 04, 2014:
    Invention Day: The Pedt Saver  In the days before domestication, dogs and cats knew that our fleetly fleeing feet were often the deciding factor between an empty stomach and a tasty human for dinner. Some of this knowledge has been genetically passed down since then, as pets today know exactly where to sleep on the bed to cut off all circulation to your feet. There is the direct pressure approach, where a pet sprawls directly across your feet and flattens them down into perpetual gymnastic poses, and there's the indirect approach, where a cat sleeps on either side of your feet, tightening the covers into a binding to eliminate any chances for you to get away or get comfortable. These tactics are a thing of the past with my new Pedt Saver device!    &nbs...
  7. Tuesday, September 10, 2013:
    Invention Day: Stick Figure Trolling   filling needs the world never knew it needed     Stick figure families are pretty ubiquitous in our area -- four to six cutesy cartoon figures decorating the lower left side of an SUV's back window (sometimes with names attached to aid hopeful pedophiles), directly across from the window stickers identifying the fifteen sports the kids play at Herndon High School.   Coming soon from my invention labs, using the profits from the  Hood-Baby , will be a set of bonus stick figures that you can use to troll your family friends. The first prototype (concept art on the right) will be the Creepy Uncle. The next time you visit your stick figure loving friends, surreptitiously slap an uncle do...
  8. Tuesday, June 18, 2013:
    Failed Startup Idea Day    Elevator Pitch:   "It's like foursquare but with websites!"     User Interaction Model :     Gain titles and unlock achievements simply by visiting your favourite websites. No smartphone or GPS required!    Compete with others to become the "Mayor", by sitting in your basement on Friday night endlessly refreshing CNN.com.    Publish your entire Internet browsing history to your Facebook feed to show "where you've been" to all of your jealous friends.      Business Model :     Measure website check-ins with a special browser add-on. Bundle BonzaiBuddy and the ASK Toolbar with each download. Chec...
  9. Tuesday, July 03, 2012:
    Invention Day: Amazon''   filling needs the world never knew it needed     Yesterday morning, I ordered some empty photo albums for my current project of archiving ten years of prints still in their one hour photo envelopes. This morning, they were sitting on the porch, apparently delivered in the early hours by some drive-by-night courier service. As a member of Amazon Prime, I find this level of service to be pretty good, but there is so much room for improvement.   What I propose is that Amazon adopt the psychic computer system from the movie,  Minority Report , in which crimes were prevented before they occurred. Applying this system to Amazon would allow warehouses to begin boxing up and shipping orders ...
  10. Tuesday, June 19, 2012:
    Invention Day: The URI! Hood-Baby   filling needs the world never knew it needed    When it comes to riding in the car, children are always given short shrift. They have no control over the radio, must fight their siblings to avoid the "hump", and have to sit in rear-facing child seats for longer and longer. The latest study from the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children should sit in the rear-facing child seats beyond the age of 2, and platoons of helicopter moms have even been spotted at the Vienna Metro station, forcing their adolescents to employ the rear-facing Metro seats "just in case".   As many parents can attest, kids hate the rear-facing child seat with a passion. In interviews with a noted baby whisperer...

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