Monday, September 11, 2017

List Day: 5 New Parent Inventions

Feel free to take these to market and reap the profits.

  • Changing Ramp: A changing table with a built-in 10 degree slant, so when the baby pees on herself it drains down to one end of the table rather than pooling around her body.

  • Milk-ex: Liberally spray on your baby's neck folds to prevent spit-up milk from collecting there. Non-carcinogenic, unlike Rainex.

  • Pneumatic Car Seat Straps: Like the Nike shoes in Back to the Future II, simply place your baby in the car seat and the straps will automatically secure into place at the appropriate level of pressure.

  • Retractable Velcro: Velcro remains under the surface of the fabric when not hooked to its target fuzz. This will get rid of unsightly baby clothing centipedes when you open your dryer and find everything velcro'd to everything else.

  • Amazon One-Minute Delivery Sleep System: A front baby carrier whose pouch is a fully detachable swaddle blanket, suitable for sleeping in. At the push of a button, a drone arrives, gently detaches the sleeping baby, and drops it in the crib already dressed for bed, eliminating the inevitable wake-ups when you do it yourself.

tagged as lists, inventions | permalink | 2 comments


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