Thursday, June 20, 2013

List Day: 6 Indispensible Game Console Requirements

  1. No Startup Clutter: The time it takes from powering up the console to playing a game should be less than 10 seconds. I don't need menus to check the weather or warnings about my cardiovascular health.

  2. No Loading Times: Levels should load in less than 10 seconds. If I can go to the bathroom or hit the gym during a loading screen, you need to optimize your I/O and loading algorithms.

  3. Fun Single Player Games: I don't care about your innovative games that require four people to enjoy. Gaming is me time. I once fell asleep trying to play Super Smash Brothers Wii single player, in order to unlock the things that would make it fun in multiplayer.

  4. Ignore Online Play: I have never played a console game against a random dude-girl on the Internet, because it's not that fun. I haven't even had an in-person game night since June 13, 2008, because married guys have kids and other hobbies.

  5. No Social Integration: I shouldn't need an account or get bothered by "friends" when I just want to play a game.

  6. No Motion Controls: Until motion controls can differentiate between a gentle swish of the controller and arthritis, they are not going to make the game any better. Stop with the gimmicks.

Call me when you've made a console that does all of the above and I'll throw money all over it.

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