Monday, July 09, 2012

List Day: 10 Skills I Leave Off My Resume

  • I can turn off light switches with either one of my nostrils.

  • I can spread cream cheese across the hole of a bagel, without having it fall through.

  • I can complete a Costco shopping trip from door to door in under ten minutes.

  • I can spot every Toll Road speed trap while they're still on the horizon.

  • I can dial the phone numbers of all of my friends manually from memory.

  • I can fast forward through the credit sequences of most popular TV shows without overshooting the actual start of the show.

  • I can work in a DOS environment without needing Cygwin or other aides.

  • I can order at Red Robin without a menu.

  • I can determine the potential tastiness of sushi, just by evaluating the city in its name.

  • I can finish an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader in under a month (without removing it from the bathroom).

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