Thursday, February 24, 2005
Foreign Language Film

    The Nominees:
    As It Is In Heaven
    The Chorus
    Downfall
    The Sea Inside
    Yesterday

    What will happen?
    It's a sad day for foreign films when not a single title has any kind of accent marking. Going solely on title alone, I'm choosing The Sea Inside because it obviously has something to offer. We know all about the sea outside, so the sea inside is obviously fertile ground for a movie.
Make-Up
    The Nominees:
    Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
    The Passion of the Christ
    The Sea Inside

    What will happen?
    An even more pathetic showing than the Foreign Language Film category, it appears that they could only scrounge up three nominees this year. I'm going to choose LSaSoUE for this one, but not because it's deserving. There's probably nothing innovative in the make-up of The Passion that hasn't already been seen in a Wes Craven movie, and I doubt the sea looks any different with a little Mary Kay mixed in.
Music (Score)
    The Nominees:
    Finding Neverland
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events
    The Passion of the Christ
    The Village

    What will happen?
    John Williams has already fully milked the motive he stole from the computer game, Return to Zork so an Oscar is not in his cards this year. Instead, The Village will win and Chris Rock will accidentally give away the secret twist from the end of the movie.
Music (Song)
    The Nominees:
  • "Accidentally In Love" - Shrek 2
    "Al Otro Lado Del R?o" - The Motorcycle Diaries
    "Believe" - The Polar Express
    "Learn To Be Lonely" - The Phantom of the Opera
    "Look To Your Path (Vois Sur Ton Chemin)" - The Chorus

    What will happen?
    Here, I'm picking Al Otro Lado Del Rio, which is German for "Get Fat Lady Off My Bike", because the supporting actress is now a regular on Alias.
Best Picture
    The Nominees:
    The Aviator
    Finding Neverland
    Million Dollar Baby
    Ray
    Sideways

    What will happen?
    This is a very strange batch of Best Picture movies. The Aviator will win because it's the most recognizable.
Short Film (Animated)
    The Nominees:
    Birthday Boy
    Gopher Broke
    Guard Dog
    Lorenzo
    Ryan

    What will happen?
    Hollywood needs to hire a new title-man. If the movies are as drab as their titles, then there will be no winner in this category. Gopher Broke barely gets chuckle points, beating out Birthday Boy, Guard Dog, and Meter Maid, as well as Lorenzo, Ryan, and Chuckie.

To Be Continued...

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