Thursday, February 10, 2005

Apparently someone is finally moving on the security clearance I submitted for a year ago -- my Florida friends are getting approached by watchful FBI investigators.

K (3:52:03): Mike just called me because the guy just called him too (I gave him his number)
K (3:52:11): So what new job are you trying to get?
Me (3:54:20): no new job
Me (3:54:23): just a govt security clearance -- it takes about a year
K (3:54:33): so you can do cool things in your current job?
Me (3:54:38): yup
K (3:54:39): ohhhh, I see
K (3:54:43): this guy was kind of shady
K (3:54:59): he wanted to meet in person and was asking if we could meet tomorrow and where
K (3:55:07): I was like, how do I know you're who you say you are?
K (3:55:19): so I told him I'd rather do the interview over the phone
K (3:55:45): hard to explain - just the way he was speaking
K (3:55:55): but anyway, there literally was nothing bad I could say about you
Me (3:55:57): they are supposed to be trained to not display emotion in asking questions
K (3:56:04): YES! he definitely did that
K (3:56:16): zero emotion, even when I told him funny things
K (3:56:55): he wanted to know who you worked for here, professor-wise
K (3:57:34): when he asked me if you'd ever done illegal drugs or sold them, I almost started laughing
K (3:57:51): he wanted to know if you were friends with any foreign nationals
Me (3:57:57): Marta
K (3:58:04): and if you belonged to any anti-american organizations
Me (3:58:10): SCI at FSU
K (3:58:14): and what your general patriotic mood was
K (3:58:18): lol
K (3:59:31): all kinds of stuff, 12 minutes of stuff
Me (3:59:38): they should pay you
K (3:59:56): he told me at the end of the interview that this is public record and that you can see it if you request to
K (4:00:39): he asked about your financial stability
Me (4:00:51): yeah, so no foreign govt can entice me to spy for money
K (4:00:54): I told him you never took out loans because you lived off of your FGM summer fortune
K (4:01:13): and that you shopped once a week in the early morning at Walmart to avoid the crowds
K (4:02:25): it's hard to lie about you because there's nothing to lie about
K (4:02:49): Mike and I were just saying that there's no person we can think of on this earth who we would trust more with govt security clearance than you
Me (4:03:17): I actually post govt secrets daily, encoded on my website
K (4:03:28): oooooooooh
Me (4:03:37): if you enlarge the periods, it's a really tiny font with words in it
K (4:03:45): Mike's next question was "how are we going to get Brian to tell us all the govt secrets?"
The gloves come off at American Idol
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